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Wednesday, May 25, 2011

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT: Toronto v Vancouver... or a dream start!

What a gorgeous spring evening on the shores of Lake Ontario. The warm breeze kisses our cheeks with the promise of beautiful football tearing through the fresh cut blades of the hallowed BMO turf with national supremacy on the line. Don't you wish you were here.

1 -Winter fields his strongest side to date. deGoo and Tchani the powerful midfield engine driving the attack of Plata, Santos and Soolsma. Cann and Williams poised to anchor the mighty Robins to a famous victory over their west coast rivals.

4 - the skies darken and precipitation begins to fall. Nothing can ruin tonight...

10 - Ok, is it getting wetter... oh it should clear up shortly

15 - Sure, I'm ill-dressed with a fabric zip-up sweater, but surely I won't get soaked through everything

18 - GOAL - how is this rain causing this? Hassli gets a lucky deflection off the deGoo... but what a howler by Cann. Seriously. Annoying.

22 - Toronto has a ton of possession right now but can't do anything in the final third. And my hat is soaked right through

27 - Oh come on, what the hell! Shoot the f**king ball!!! C'mon, I'm soaked through my jacket and pants and I can see my breath.

29 - Oh my lord the rain is going into my ear. It's in my ear and down my neck, trickling down my back.

33 - Everything is soaked. My toes. Numb. Toronto can't pull the damn trigger. It's freezing, miserable and TFC is playing worse and worse with every touch.

38 - We are going to die!! Not due to flood, but from frostbite or electrocution from the lightning storm!

42 - Ok, that drop went down the back and to the crack of my rear. It's so chilling. Have you ever felt that sensation before? Have you ever had the living hell scared out of you in a cold dark cellar? It's like that except it's wet and the football is total garbage!

45+1 - I hate everyone with a tarp, a rain jacket and the audacity to call this farce football. So I despise 99% of the attendees of BMO Hole. And can we get a damn roof on this dump already? Seriously, just sell Frei on to Neuchatel Xamax for half a mil and BUILD A LID ON THIS CAN ALREADY!!!!


We would like to take this time to apologize for this report as our reporter has been overcome by the overwhelming amount of ice cold precipitation. He left at halftime and, with thanks to foursquare, appears to be crossing Richmond St. W over and over again in an attempt to be the "mayor of the Consulate General of Romania" while meowing aggressively at passers by. Hopefully he'll recover in time for Saturday.


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