AFTER 90: TFC draws in Champions League - ML$E wins in Chumpions League

Put money in here

CRUZ AZUL 0 - TORONTO FC 0
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
　
Amidst the din of droning train horns, apparently the Estadio Azul version of the vuvuzela, Nick Dasovic and his TFC charges gave a gutsy, resilient show of defensive grit in one of CONCACAF's toughest stadiums. The Reds managed to overcome the handicap of early match injuries and the smoggy altitude of Mexico City to stifle and frustrate the highly favoured Cruz Azul and snatch a precious point in the CCL Group Stage. Solid performances from the likes of Adrian Cann, Julian de Guzman and backup keeper Jon "King" Conway showed that you can still play a defensive style without putting North America to sleep - I'm looking at you Radosavljevic. However, on a night which should have made Reds fans sleep well - things back home put a black cloud over the match.
　
Despite our ardent support for the hometown team, it was so hard not to watch the match tonight without a heavy heart. As most supporters are aware by now Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment announced today yet another increase in season ticket prices for 2011. Barely a week after hitting the club's reset button, by sacking (justifiably) Preki & Mo, the ownership somehow felt it was appropriate to increase your ticket price across the stadium. Somehow, somewhere on Bay Street, some old white man in an expensive suit thought Toronto FC Inc. has provided a quality product in 2010 to warrant gouging their support deeper.
　
If any supporters of the club are still holding out hope that ML$E "gets football" and "has a vision for TFC" - stop that rubbish thinking immediately. The greedy Bay St. Bankers only see profits and truly feel they have "Leafs on Grass" at BMO Field. Seats in the South End have risen in price by 77% since year one and some BMO Field season tickets cost more than a year's worth of matches at Manchester United. ML$E's claims that this is an "apples and oranges" comparison shows their ignorance of Toronto's knowledgeable football fans who are becoming disillusioned with the overall poor product that is The Reds in a hurry.
　
Sadly, ML$E has Reds' supporters over the proverbial barrel. The fine balance between loving your club and being taken for a chump by a corporation with zero desire for winning on the field is a painful choice. You can never fault TFC's fans for giving it their all at BMO Field and on the road with The Reds but eventually backs will break and fans will stay home. Another lacklustre year - and we all see 2011 under Head Coach Dasovic and GM Jim Brennan going that way (you read it here!) - and yet another ticket increase, may just fatally injure this young club. The sad thing is, the Toronto-hoser media will say... "professional soccer just can't work in Toronto". Remember, we were there when it did - before greed showed up.
　
MAN OF THE MATCH: Adrian Cann (TFC)... solid in back
GOAT OF THE MATCH: Tom Anselmi (ML$E)... solid in bank
　
MATCH IN FIVE WORDS: Scrappy. Train Horns. Injuries. Greed.
　
SENSATIONAL HEADLINE: "CCL MATCH NOT USED IN MLSE SEASON TICKET HIGHLIGHT REEL"
　
TOTALLY FAKE POST-MATCH QUOTE: "We love the FC fans - greatest in the MLS! Now send us your money or get the hell out of here." - ML$E VP Tom Anselmi shows Reds supporters affection

THE MATCHUP: Cruz Azul looking to "cement" Toronto's CCL demise

Mo & Preki decided to show up for the match

CRUZ AZUL (1st) VS. TORONTO FC (3rd)
CONCACAF Champions League - Group A
　
Estadio Azul - Tuesday 10PM ET
TV: GOL TV
　
For the first time in their history, Toronto FC are feeling what it's like to be Rosenborg, FC Copenhagen or Sparta Prague. You can be fresh of a great league win and flying high only to be thrust days later into Champions League and humbled by a continental giant. While CONCACAF Champions League isn't quite its European cousin's standard, The Reds' are about to experience this region's version of visiting Barcelona in the Nou Camp.
　
Mexico City's Cruz Azul, the 5-time CONCACAF Champions, are the big nacho cheese in the region's footballing chalupa and their bullring-esque Estadio Azul is likely the most difficult place TFC has ever played. Toronto, who have put in a mixed effort so far in the CCL group stage, can expect to meet a Los Cementeros squad who take the competition extremely seriously and also are chomping at the bit to avenge their loss to TFC in Toronto which was widely mocked in the Mexican media.
　
The fixture puts TFC interim head coach Nick Dasovic in an awkward place tactically. He has seemed eager to shed the negative shackles of PrekiBall and attack his opposition but donde los Estadio Azul he may just have to reel in his Maple Gringos. Partly due to Preki's tactics during the very winnable fixture in Panama, TFC are most likely not going to qualify for the group stage but perhaps this gives Daso a golden opportunity. He could throw caution to the smoggy Mexican wind and if the Reds fail heroically people will say "hey it's Cruz Azul". However, steal a win like a bandito and suddenly Dasovic looks like a genius and maybe cementeros-is his future at TFC.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "Los Revengeros donde Canadiense"
　
SOLID CEMENT: Gerardo Torrado, Jose (Christ's Beer) de Jesus Corona, Emanuel Villa
CRACKED PAVEMENT: Dwayne De Rosario, Chad Barrett, Adrian Cann
　
THE ODDS:
- Cruz Azul's concrete manufacturer ownership offering to "take care of TFC's boots": 5-1
- Toronto trying to rile up the Cruz Azul fans by re-naming themselves Chivas CDN: 10-1
- Nick Dasovic blaming a loss on "a couple of Mexican guys": 20-1
- Mo Johnston hired by Cruz Azul owners as "Director of Watching Cement Dry": 2-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Cruz Azul's Estadio Azul (or Blue Stadium) is located in Mexico City's Colonia Nochebuena district named after Colonel Nochebuena (Sergeant Goodlunch in English) inventor of the modern military burrito
- Estadio Azul plans to unveil its special "Canadian Taco" on Tuesday night. The delicacy is a pancake taco filled with beaver meat, maple syrup, French fries, gravy and shredded stolen Canadian passports
- Cruz Azul is ranked # 1 on FIFA's "Clubs named after Construction Suppliers" list - currently beating rivals FK IKEA Screws Stockholm, Partizan Plastik Sheeting Belgrade and AC Marble Tiles of Turin
- Visiting supporters can expect delays going into Estadio Azul as protests by a Roman Catholic Prohibition Group continues to rail against Cruz Azul's goalkeeper Jose de Jesus Corona claiming his name is both blasphemous and enabling of alcoholics
　
DE JESUS CORONA SAYS: 3-0 Cruz Azul
ST. DWAYNE OF MOLSON SAYS: 2-2 Draw
HEADLINE: "CEMENTEROS TAKE DUMP ON TORONTO'S CCL"

The South Stand Report : Toronto v Cruz Azul... Or OMG WTF CONCACAF-CL!

Do the research, not only is this Transformer accurate, it's funny.

Tonight is special. Meaningful footie? Check. Beautiful weather? Check. Chance to get a scalp of a club that, on paper, is far superior than TFC? Check. Gorgeous women around? Triple check. Like I said, special.

Predictions : not a sellout because the red fever in this city is for MLS league matches only. One questionable substitute. 3 shirtless in 112. Someone hating on my "DeRo Was His Name-o" song incorrectly. 1-1 draw.

Your starting XI:

Conway
Usanov - Attakora - Cann - Hscovanscivicosicvics
Labrocca - DeRo - deGoo - Saric
Mista - OBW

3' - GOAL - WHAT??!?! Pinball in the 18, sees a cross from Labrocca (I think) to DeRo (I know) to Mista (I think) that's on target but punched away by Gutierrez which falls onto the path of a wide open Saric who puts into an equally wide open net. Welcome back Martin.

9 - Mista runs across the face of the box, lays it to DeRo who crosses it in front of OBW, who couldn't get to the ball due to quicksand, I'm sure.

17 - Ro is now predicting 2-0. Mainly because he missed the first goal. Victoria, with a new tatt on her foot is calling for 1-0 and painkillers. Good combo.

21 - Hscviancoviciscs goes down heavily in a challenge getting Villaluz booked. Unfortunately, Raivis dislocated a vowel.

29 - DeRo lays another ball to OBW, but got run off the ball due to slow-motionitis.

31 - Another ball to OBW that he doesn't get to due to a clubbed foot.

32 - Appeals for penalty ring out around the ground, but the ref gets it right as deGoo gets hammered outside the box. Ensuing free has a Mista effort just left of goal.

Quote:

Write this down, I love Victoria... write this down, I f*cking love the girl...

~ Victoria, and yes that is her twitter account

40 - First real meaningful attack from the visitors. Cross from Cruz Azul, Pinto picks it up and pops it around Attakora to Biancucchi, prompting an excellent glove save from "King Kong" Conway. That man is to size what Usanov is to punching, I swear.

44 - GOAL - Mr. Raivis (I can't be bothered to look up his name) passes to Mista who slides a low, slow and accurate ball to the bottom left corner and out of Gutierrez's reach. Magic.

1 min of extra time

Half-time mood : Reds say what?! We're winning.

Quote of the match:

- Are you a vegetarian?
- I am a vegetarian but I eat pork.

~ Dom recants a convo overheard on the train to BMO

53 - Saric is really taking a beating out there. He's gone down hurt for about the 4th time at this point.

55 - Gimenez has a go from the right of goal and Conway leaps to palm it away. That looked like a top flight save.

64 - SUB - Saric out, Vanilla Peterson in. This is must be a lack of depth thing, but Saric has had a good battle out there tonight. Deserved round of applause for the Saric.

65 - SUB - Mista out, Nane in. See previous comment about depth. Mista gets an even greater round of applause as he had a great game.

73 - YELLOW - Vanilla gets booked for wasting time at a throw in. Seriously? You start time wasting this early? Want to lock up a game Preki? Score 2 more goals.

78 - SUB - OBW out, Ibrahim in. See previous comment about depth.

86 - Conway with a punched away save and on the counter attack, DeRo kinda sorta throws himself to ground fishing for a penalty but the ref said play on. Unimpressed.

90 - GOAL - Though the updated 6-3-1 formation that Preki instituted couldn't hold shape in a jello mold, Gimenez curls a pretty ball over the wall and buries it well past Conway. Great free kick.

3 mins of extra time

90+2 - YELLOW - DeRo and someone on Cruz Azul get into a wee kicking scuffle in the corner. No one hurt but the ref wasn't having any of it.
Full-time : Toronto 2, Cruz Azul 1

Man of the Match : Mista. Bar none. He was a class above all tonight.

Goat of the Game : O'Brien White. I want to believe that he's not a bad, slow player, but he had no chances because he couldn't get to them. And he couldn't get to them because a plodding giant forward isn't suited for this 4-4-2 run and gun style of play, it's suited for run down the wing (we have no wingers), cross into the middle and have the giant go up and get it. He probably bags goals all over the park in training. He probably baby-sits Preki's kids. He probably is the best coffee barista at the club. This does not make a starter. If there's a pundit who can explain it to me, I'll be the first to apologize.

Ref Rating : 5 out or 5. Screwed up no major calls. Screwed up no minor calls. A welcome change from the MLS discount refs we get around here.

Injuries aside, where is our depth? I would be shocked if anyone who has season tickets at BMO rates Ibrahim, Peterson, Nane, Gomez, Sanyang at all. Yes, we are not coaches. No, we don't know the chemistry or why Preki loves these guys, but this is our bench. I can forgive OBW as a choice in an injury crunch (and maybe Gala needs an attitude adjustment if the rumours prove to be true) but our bench doesn't strike fear into the hearts of paranoid schizophrenics, let alone the opposition. When these guys come in, no one sighs with relief. No one goes "oh, that [player name here] is quality, we'll be fine".

I know depth has been an issue with TFC since the beginning of time (or 2007), but with the talent the team possesses right now, our starting XI makes me a believer that TFC is a contender to win it all. No bullsh*t. But when injuries arise, the options we have make me no more or less comfortable when we were looking to Hemming, Rosenlund, Melo and their ilk to help out.

And to those injured : please get well soon. Henry will be here on Saturday, and he needs to be stopped.

THE MATCHUP: "CONCACAF's Barcelona" visits "CONCACAF's Bolton"

Now that's a solid back four!

TORONTO FC VS. CRUZ AZUL
CONCACAF Champions League - Group A
　
BMO Field - Tuesday 8PM ET
TV: GOL TV
　
What better way to welcome Toronto FC into the CCL proper than with a visit from the FIFA-ranked best club in the region?! Club Deportivo, Social Y Cultural Cruz Azul A.C., or just Cruz Azul to its friends, is arguably the greatest club in North and Central America/ Caribbean (sorry Joe Public) and have won the CONCACAF club championship a record five times. In addition, Los Cementeros have been the runners-up in the last two Champions League Finals and are itching to be there again in 2011.
　
On the other side of the coin of course is Toronto FC, a club with the financial ability to become a continental powerhouse - but the financial and corporate desire to be the best soccer team at their bank. The young TFC are virtual virgins at this kind of intense group stage tournament action and how they approach the matches, especially home fixtures, will be interesting and rather telling. Will it be a three match MLSE payday or are they really going to try to advance to the knockout stages?
　
In the midst of (yet another) last-gasp leap at MLS playoffs, manager Preki will have to try to squeeze the most out the tiny undermanned squad that is the result of four years of Mo Johnston's finest work. One thing is for certain - defensive Prekiball will be torn apart by Cruz Azul in what is being billed as the fiercest Mexican-Canadian match since Tito Santana and Rick Martel's "Strike Force" tag-team broke up. Ariba!
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "America's Beard v. America's Hat"
　
CRUZ ROJO: Stefan Frei, Julian de Guzman, Nana Attakora
IN THE MIXER: Emanuel Villa, Javier Orozco, Gerardo Torrado
　
THE ODDS:
- A South End supporter yelling "Ay dios mio!" in the voice of The Simpsons' "Bumblebee Man" - 2-1
- Mo Johnston being falsely rumoured to sign a Mexican player post-match much like the false Honduran rumour after the Motagua match: EVENS
- MLSE selling commerative "Cruz Azul v TFC" piñatas: 5-1
- Ali Gerba returning from Montreal to eat insides of piñata: 3-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Instead of the customary pre-match team banner exchange, Cruz Azul gives opponents a bag of fresh cement
- Cruz Azul's goalkeeper Jesus Corona is the star of a Mexican ad campaign for Corona Cerveza called "What Would Jesus Drink?"
- The chairman of Cruz Azul has flamed the rivalry between the two clubs by stating that BMO Field's Chip Butty is a "Gringo burrito not worthy of a mongrel dog"
- Cruz Azul's private jet "Cruz Airzul 1" is recognizable at Lester B. Pearson Airport by its Gangsta hydraulic wheels, neon-lit fuselage and giant tail speakers blaring Latino rap
　
RICK MARTEL SAYS: 2-1 Toronto
TITO SANTANA SAYS: 0-2 Cruz Azul
HEADLINE: "PREKI ENFORCES OFFENSIVE SIESTA"

Mexi-Canadian relations never got over "Strike Force"

Hola! Know your CCL Group Stage

-----------------------------18 looks confused

Buenos dios to the Group Stage of CONCACAF Champions League El Toronto! For the first time in Los Reds history they will play in the CCL proper and with it travel the continent (and its little dangly bit below) in the quest to bring a Quarterfinal to Toronto... in February. You can hear chattering Latin American teeth from here. Before that though, TFC must navigate through the wild locales of Mexico, Panama and er... Utah. Let's take a look (or dos look if you please) at TFC's Group A opponents.

ARABE UNIDO - Estadio Armand Dely Valdes - Colon, Panama

Toronto FC haven't travelled this far south since their last place finish in Year One! Badum-dum! I'm here all week - try the burrito. Arabe Unido, and their tiny, decrepit stadium are the enigma of Group A. On paper they look like the poor minnow of the group but Manager Richard Parra led them to a CCL Quarterfinal appearance in 2009/2010 and they are 6-time Panamanian Champions. Also, their canal kicks the Welland Canal's ass.

PLAYER MAXIM USANOV SHOULD PUNCH: Orlando Rodriguez FW

ACTUAL NICKNAMES/ POORLY TRANSLATED NICKNAMES:

"La Furia Colonense" = "The Painful Colonoscopy"

"Los Arabes" = "The Lost Arabians"

"DAU" = ("Dos Awkwardo Unclos") "The Inappropriate Uncles"

CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:

Manuel Noriega - Dictator/ Pineapple features

Ghost of John Frank Stevens - Engineer of the Panama Canal/ dead

Van Halen - 80's Supergroup/ Hot teacher enthusiasts

LIKELY TABLOID PUN-HEADLINES:

"TFC BLOCKED IN COLON"

"PANAMANIA RUNS WILD OVER REDS"

"TORONTO READY FOR CANAL PROBE IN COLON"

CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:

"La Grande Caliente Colon"

CRUZ AZUL - Estadio Azul - Mexico City, Mexico

This is indeed the big one of the group. You haven't heard of Cruz Azul? You could call them the Barcelona of CONCACAF. Yes the Mexican superclub are pretty big nacho cheeses down at the cracker factory. Manager Enrique Meza leads the club into the Group Stage with only one goal - straight to the final... again. Cruz Azul are 5 time CONCACAF club champions as well as owning 8 Mexican Championships, 2 Copa Mexico trophies and 5 Copa Pachucas. If they don't win Group A, it will be a grandos shock.

PLAYER MAXIM USANOV SHOULD PUNCH: Emanuel Villa FW

ACTUAL NICKNAMES/ POORLY TRANSLATED NICKNAMES:
"La Maquina Celeste" = "The Cheese Machines"
"Los Cementeros" = "The Last Sidewalk"
"El Chemo" = "The Chemotherapists"

CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:
Speedy Gonzales - Cartoon Mexican politician/ Sombrero collector
Los Lobos - 80's not-so-supergroup/ Richie Valens debtors
The Taco Bell Dog - Canine taco pitchman/ deceased Chihuahua

LIKELY TABLOID PUN-HEADLINES:
"CRUZ AZUL GIVE TFC CONCRETE BOOTS"
"MEXICANS CEMENT PLACE IN NEXT ROUND"

" AZUL CRUZ AT BMO FIELD"

CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"El Amigo Chipotle"


REAL SALT LAKE - Rio Tinto Stadium - Sandy, Utah, USA

The reigning MLS Champions will be TFC's most familiar rival and one who have been a tough opponent for The Reds in the past. RSL manager Jason Kreis will hope that familiarity will help them get past fellow CCL debutantes TFC. With a MLS league match in Toronto on August 28th these two teams will be on a first-name basis. Despite their name, RSL are the least Latino of Toronto's opponents. For Real.

PLAYER MAXIM USANOV SHOULD PUNCH: Nick Rimando GK

ACTUAL NICKNAMES/ POORLY TRANSLATED NICKNAMES:

"Royals" = "The Osmond Family"
"RSL" = "Deportivo La Utah Jazz"
"Monarcas" = "The Butterflies"

CELEBRITY SUPPORTERS:

The Mormon Tabernacle Choir - Singers/ No fun at parties
John Stockton & Karl Malone - Jazz duo/ Short shorts enthusiasts
Polygamists - Wife hoarders/ Bill Paxton fans

LIKELY TABLOID PUN-HEADLINES:

"RSL GET 3 POINTS - 3 WIVES"
"SLUGGISH REDS COVERED IN SALT"
"KYLE BECKERMAN DREADS NATTY DRAW MON"

CHIP BUTTY EQUIVALENT:
"The Holy Union of 1 Potato and Multiple Bread Slices"