Ahh, i haven't written one of these in a while. First I lost the notepad, then I found it and got chip butty grease all over my notepad, what a mess. Anyways, excuses aside, it is match report time. Where we last left our heroes, Vitti actually took a shot on net but hit the post. Jimmy B fell with injury and unlikely misfit Ricketts played a fine 45 minutes in relief. Coach Cummins still cannot figure out why the 4-3-3 worked brilliantly yet the standard 4-4-2 has failed against Vancouver and Los Angeles. Meanwhile, our opponents for this evening are in the process of a great skid of poor results. Tonight, at the Fortress of Doom, Toronto takes on New York Red Bulls in "The Battle of Under-Achievement"!
4 GOAL - In the most truly offensive manoeuvre since his arrival, Vitti draws a penalty after being hauled down. Guevara steps up and fires his shot just to the left of down the middle. Instead of reporting how bad the shot really was, "Play It Again" Sam Cronin converts the rebound spectacularly. And the peasants rejoice.
30 GOAL - Vitti gets a juicy break and looks to slot the ball just to the keeper's right except the Cepero makes an amazing stop, only to be outdone by a Dichio bullet burying the bladder in the back of the onion bag.
Yes, I'm done with elaborate alliteration.
35ish YELLOW - Robinson loses his crap over a questionable booking for a harmless tackle.
HALFTIME
Mood: border-line giddy
Toronto dominated possession, but that's about it. The scoreline is borderline too kind. NYRB don't seem terribly interested in getting into the match. Vitti looks good and really aggressive. Even Harmse, who started without our permission I might add, looked cohesive and competent.
54 GOAL - After a minute of 18-yard box pinball defending, New York score after second mini-pinball scramble. Reminiscent of first season defending.
57 - TFC is clearly teetering on the verge of collapse like an overplayed game of Jenga. I hate Jenga. It's the clean-up.
61 - Quote of the match : "Bite your tongue, Swiss Chalet salad dressing tastes like angel's cum." Please don't ask.
63 - Robinson smells blood in the six as his leaping header just misses. Left unmarked in front NYRB keeper Cepero.
64 SUB - Guevera for Velez. After his clusterf*ck of a match versus LA, I'm surprised he's getting on the pitch. But I question the motive of swapping a defender in for a marauding midfielder. Oh well.
66 - Kevin Harmse fires a bullet 22 yards out. Didn't miss by much and wouldn't like be stopped if it were on target.
67 - Toronto pressure is on after Serioux lets a shot that sends Cepero to grab it. Cepero is the only Red Bull who's here to win. The rest of the side seems content with just playing.
68 SUB - Vitti for "The Chad" Chad Barrett. Vitti who's been a machine out there and his hard work resulted in two goals, gets the pine in exchange for the only forward who has a hit rate sub 5%. If The Chad donated $500 to charity for every time he missed, we'd have half a hospital built on his foot alone.
72 - Scarborough's own DeRosario fires a laser beam just over the bar in a free kick on the left side of the penalty area.
73 - "The Chad" makes the save of the game. It was at the wrong end of the pitch. I guess if he can't score goals, no one can, huh?
77 - Harry Wetnap had been shouting out "Catenaccio" for the last 5 minutes due to the pseudo-defensive change in strategy. I've dubbed the TFC version of this strategy Cattenaccio cheese
83 - Harmse fires another rocket from 22 yards out. If Kevin Harmse has to watch Paul Scholes highlight reels to improve his game the way he's done this match, get him off the pitch and into the media room. In three weeks, he'll be on the transfer lists of all the biggest clubs of secondary leagues (Anderlecht! Grasshoppers! Urawa Red Diamonds!).
86 SUB - DeRosario for Ricketts. Given how poor his form was for the majority of this season, he did a wonderful job subbing in for Jimmy Brennan last game. I'm glad he's climbing back into favour.
89 YELLOW - The Scholes comment is further verified as Harmse gets a yellow for a reckless tackle. Oh Scholesy...
Toronto survives the traditional "last 5 minute collapse" and wins the day 2-1.
4 GOAL - In the most truly offensive manoeuvre since his arrival, Vitti draws a penalty after being hauled down. Guevara steps up and fires his shot just to the left of down the middle. Instead of reporting how bad the shot really was, "Play It Again" Sam Cronin converts the rebound spectacularly. And the peasants rejoice.
30 GOAL - Vitti gets a juicy break and looks to slot the ball just to the keeper's right except the Cepero makes an amazing stop, only to be outdone by a Dichio bullet burying the bladder in the back of the onion bag.
Yes, I'm done with elaborate alliteration.
35ish YELLOW - Robinson loses his crap over a questionable booking for a harmless tackle.
HALFTIME
Mood: border-line giddy
Toronto dominated possession, but that's about it. The scoreline is borderline too kind. NYRB don't seem terribly interested in getting into the match. Vitti looks good and really aggressive. Even Harmse, who started without our permission I might add, looked cohesive and competent.
54 GOAL - After a minute of 18-yard box pinball defending, New York score after second mini-pinball scramble. Reminiscent of first season defending.
57 - TFC is clearly teetering on the verge of collapse like an overplayed game of Jenga. I hate Jenga. It's the clean-up.
61 - Quote of the match : "Bite your tongue, Swiss Chalet salad dressing tastes like angel's cum." Please don't ask.
63 - Robinson smells blood in the six as his leaping header just misses. Left unmarked in front NYRB keeper Cepero.
64 SUB - Guevera for Velez. After his clusterf*ck of a match versus LA, I'm surprised he's getting on the pitch. But I question the motive of swapping a defender in for a marauding midfielder. Oh well.
66 - Kevin Harmse fires a bullet 22 yards out. Didn't miss by much and wouldn't like be stopped if it were on target.
67 - Toronto pressure is on after Serioux lets a shot that sends Cepero to grab it. Cepero is the only Red Bull who's here to win. The rest of the side seems content with just playing.
68 SUB - Vitti for "The Chad" Chad Barrett. Vitti who's been a machine out there and his hard work resulted in two goals, gets the pine in exchange for the only forward who has a hit rate sub 5%. If The Chad donated $500 to charity for every time he missed, we'd have half a hospital built on his foot alone.
72 - Scarborough's own DeRosario fires a laser beam just over the bar in a free kick on the left side of the penalty area.
73 - "The Chad" makes the save of the game. It was at the wrong end of the pitch. I guess if he can't score goals, no one can, huh?
77 - Harry Wetnap had been shouting out "Catenaccio" for the last 5 minutes due to the pseudo-defensive change in strategy. I've dubbed the TFC version of this strategy Cattenaccio cheese
83 - Harmse fires another rocket from 22 yards out. If Kevin Harmse has to watch Paul Scholes highlight reels to improve his game the way he's done this match, get him off the pitch and into the media room. In three weeks, he'll be on the transfer lists of all the biggest clubs of secondary leagues (Anderlecht! Grasshoppers! Urawa Red Diamonds!).
86 SUB - DeRosario for Ricketts. Given how poor his form was for the majority of this season, he did a wonderful job subbing in for Jimmy Brennan last game. I'm glad he's climbing back into favour.
89 YELLOW - The Scholes comment is further verified as Harmse gets a yellow for a reckless tackle. Oh Scholesy...
Toronto survives the traditional "last 5 minute collapse" and wins the day 2-1.
Man of the Match : We say Serioux was outstanding. Harmse was a "10" on the "Harmse Scale" but still a 6 nearing a 7 tonight. I vote for NYRB's Cepero, but I was told to stick it in my bum. Harsh.
Goat : The Chad for his save.
Ref rating : 4 red thumbs up. Aside from the early questionable booking, the officiating team didn't call many soft fouls. He kept out of the game very well. Some of the better MLS officiating that I've seen this year.
Notes : Toronto only looked as good as New York looked bad. Give us a real team and I'm sure all of our faults would be on display for the sheep to eat up. South end doesn't seem to mind getting thrown under the bus over the Real Madrid ticket prices, even with the generous "Loyalty Price" *gag*. Short of Wetnap bringing a few signs, that was it. We've invoked a protest of not wearing any TFC gear for the rest of the year. It doesn't sound like much, but nearly is $15 off a $140 ticket.
The South Stand Report is written by The Yorkies' man in the South End Supporters' section at BMO Field to bring you a feel of the match as seen, and heard, from the stands.
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