THE STARTING 11: Ways Toronto FC celebrated their win in Seattle

"More than enough to drink at home..."



Well that was a bit of fun wasn't it? It's far too early to start planning any parades but even the most optimistic of your TFC supporters didn't honestly expect an opening day win in Seattle. But alas, on the backs of their shiny new signings, The Reds bagged 3 points and deserved a little post-match celebration! Where better to luxuriate in victory than the Sasquatch and caffeine laden city of Seattle, Washington but what do happy Reds do with a free night in the Emerald City?

11. Threw an Xbox through a hotel window

10. Toronto-born players gathered under the Space Needle and made inadequate phallic gestures while giggling uncontrollably

9. Stefan Frei and Joe Bendik secretly met for a quiet meal. Held hands. Wept gently.

8. Found famous Seattle street musician "Spoonman"... watched on as Jackson tackled him from behind

7. Jim Brennan spent evening in hotel business center emailing resume to Seattle Sounders for all of their jobs

6. Icing Mark Bloom's manbits after the Clint Dempsey punch. Repeat.

5. Went Bigfoot spotting. Closest they got was seeing Sigi Schmid eating a donut in the woods.

4. Alvaro Rey dribbled through the surviving members of Nirvana

3. All-night "Frasier" box-set marathon in Chris Konopka's room! Anyone?

2. Jermain Defoe celebrated scoring twice by scoring another seven times overnight

1. Coffee stupor!

 

No Jackson he's just trying to feel the rhythm with his hands!



The South Stand Report: Toronto v. Seattle

What an f'ing cold day. I said to my buddy that if Toronto wins, we could be in a blizzard and we'll all go home happy.

Now ask me why I remember how cold and windy it was.

In the strangest scenario I can think of, the early season kinda hot Toronto FC are having their home opener against the hottest team in the league, new boys Seattle Sounders.

How is it we didn't see our first victory for about 4 or 5 games, and they're undefeated?! What the hell happened here? With my voice recorder busted, predictions ranged from a 1-1 draw to 2-0, 1-0, 3-1 for Toronto.

The supporters, fresh off their humiliation against Columbus (police department, *cracklecracklecrackle*) are in full voice singing the same 4 songs that have served us well. We debut our De Rosario song much to the delight of mid 113.

Seattle are without Moreno, ace goal scorer and unknown entity, due to an injury which really is about a charge against him of sexual harassment.

Toronto look listless and confused. I lay part of the blame on the demi-cyclone we were in because of the 'route 1' style of footie which required the ball to be punted long distances in the air. However, Ricketts was largely absent from anything positive, "The Chad" Chad Barrett has all the makings of a good striker without any of the accuracy one requires to perform well, and our defenders are brutal. Harmse didn't have a clue where to go it seemed.

Regardless of the fancy details, Seattle thumped the reds 2-0 in a very deserved victory. They played tight zonal footie, short passes and shredded the defense. Keller was rarely tested in the Seattle goal, which upset me as we didn't get to do our impromptu Helen Keller song (he's deaf, he's blind, the balls gone in behind, Helen Keller... Helen Keller...).

Quote of the match : "It's nice that I pay $300 a year to come and hang out with you guys because clearly the footie isn't worth it."

Man of the Match : De Ro.

Goat : Everyone else (short of Sutton) who clearly gave up around the 86th minute. Hustle disappeared.