THE MATCHUP: Give us wings

"The Champagne of Energy Drink Football Clubs"

TORONTO VS. NEW YORK
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 4:30PM ET

TV: TSN

WHY SHOULD I WATCH THIS?
- Will the dramatic VCup victory over Vancouver be a springboard to regain good form in the league?

- Will the dramatic VCup victory over Vancouver leave TFC an exhausted shell of a team that needs a nap at the half?

- What does life without Michael Bradley look like?

- You can count how many local fans think it's "cool" to wear their Arsenal kits to a TFC match just because Thierry Henry is visiting.

- The "not your ordinary" return of Richard Eckersley.

- Will the England-snubbed Jermain Defoe be full of vengeful fire... or a moping misery guts?
- See how long I can hiss at Thierry Henry before passing out!

- Spurs legend vs. Arsenal legend... who is the bigger, bloodier deal?

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The North American London Derby"

THE DUEL:
Jermain Defoe vs. Thierry Henry

WHO ARE YA?
The city of Toronto has long been dubbed as "Hollywood North" due to its prosperous film industry. It's not unusual for locals to see television and film crews using our city as a set for major productions, including many American ones. In fact, Toronto has been used as a stand-in for New York City on many occasions.

Not to be outdone, our suburban neighbours to the east - Oshawa - have agreed to set fire to a large part of their downtown in preparation for a film that is set in the home of New York Red Bulls - Harrison, New Jersey. The film, a hilarious rom-com matching a down on her luck Red Bull Arena hot dog vendor and a love-struck local C.H.U.D. is due in theatres in Summer 2015.
 

The set of "For the Love of C.H.U.D."



ON THIS DAY IN TFC HISTORY:
MAY 17, 2012: A concerned Torsten Frings storms out of training until it becomes clear the phrase "New York Red Bulls" translates into a local Bavarian slang term for a sexually transmitted disease.

Reds and Spurs go jingle-jangle



Well that kind of takes the climax out of the spit take. But it's still a bloody big deal... just a bit more bloody money involved.

Both Toronto FC and Tottenham Hotspur have officially confirmed that Jermain Defoe is indeed on his way to the Great White (Hart) North. However, that wasn't quite enough for two clubs that love a bit of the old marketing now was it?

On top of announcing that the 31-year old striker will join TFC on February 28th, 2014, the two clubs have also entered into an "Advertising and Marketing Rights" agreement. This deal will see Spurs merchandise flogged at MLSE properties and likely the odd bit of website cross-promo. In addition, Spurs have also added Toronto to their North American tour this summer, playing TFC in a friendly on July 23rd.

In the long run, this "partnership" will be unlikely to involve much more than a few Spurs kits in RealSports shops and a lot of huffing and puffing around the friendly. Hand-wringing that TFC become "Spurs' Jr." is anxiety of an unnecessary level. Spurs have similar agreements with many international clubs that don't amount to much more than merchandising opportunities.

We will have more on Defoe as his unveiling looms on Monday. For TFC supporters, this shouldn't be a day to worry about corporate tomfoolery but to look forward to watching the best striker the club has ever had.

THE WORD: Jermain? Possibly present.

Get used to telling guys where to stand mate

"Glamour models" of Canada rejoice! According to internationally renowned truth-peddling newspaper The Mirror, Toronto FC have found "the biggest MLS DP of all timez" - Tottenham Hotspur stalwart/lady aficionado Jermain Defoe.

Now this is isn't the first time that TFC and Defoe's name have been linked in a #LeiwekeLeaks scoop but it is the first time that any major media outlet has gone as far as to say that a deal has been struck. And what a deal*! A reported $150,000 (US)-a-week, 4-year contract which we assume includes Andrew Wiedeman as Defoe's butler. This is in addition to an apparent transfer fee in the $10-12 Million range to be paid to Spurs.

How sure are The Mirror that this deal is done? They hired the top designers in the Fleet Street game to Photoshop Defoe's face onto a Mountie. That kind of Rap Game Stereotyping does not come cheap!

Now before we all run out and get our TFC Defoe kits made (Except you of course, torn Toronto FC/Arsenal supporters. Suck it.) let us remember that TFC and transfers are never a black-and-white case. From Urrutis to Forlans to Gilardinos and er... Ben Haims - this stuff never goes smoothly at BMO Field. Does Defoe "tick all the boxes" for Tim Leiweke and TFC? Yes. Does a player intent on making England's World Cup 2014 squad pine for a move to Major League Soccer's clown college? Not so fast.

Various mainstream North American media types are hedging their bets for and against The Mirror story tonight. Some are corroborating the rumour, some are saying it's being worked on and the odd one is pointing at TFC's history and laughing milk through their nostrils. Most likely where there is this much smoke, there is some fire. Whether or not it ignites into a full Deferno, the next few weeks should tell.

Many TFC fans will simply not believe this rumour until Jermaine Defoe is a solid 15 minutes into a match wearing the red of The Reds. This is a safe way to treat this for now. Could Defoe do a good job at TFC? Undoubtedly... but let's worry about that when said shirt goes over said rumoured DP's head.

Sunshine Girls - you have been warned.