THE WORD: Things looking up for Ol' Gil?

"Ol' Gil really needs a win"

 

You know what's so hot right now? Brazilians. They've got the World Cup next year, the Olympics in 2016, you only need one name down there - it can even be something like "Hulk" - and they do a tremendous job on a nether-region's hair-style. Is the Adidas Samba their thing too? Kudos Brazil. Kudos.

Anytoots, on this wave of Copa Comania comes the latest off-season rumour surrounding Toronto FC's dusty abandoned lot aka their forward line. Over the last few days, a little rump-shake of a whisper has gone nearly full Lambada (and that's a forbidden dance!) concerning 24-year old striker Gilberto Oliviera Souza Jr. And again, since it's Brazil - they just call him "Gilberto". So efficient!

Now before you get your TFC thong ($59.99 at RealSports) in a twist about our new Brazilian messiah let's just remember that this is a South American transfer rumour. They have the tendency to last about as long as a Fat Ronaldo sandwich. However, to use a #LeiwekeLeaks favourite line: "he ticks a lot of boxes" for TFC.

At just 24, Gilberto could develop nicely in MLS especially if the plan would be to pair him with an A-minus List partner like the oft rumoured Jermain Defoe or Alberto Gilardino. (Oooh Gil2Gil!). The apparently strong and swift Brazilian has a steady if not spectacular strike rate through his pro career and is currently fifth in scoring in the Brasiliero with club Portuguesa. Also he was born in Piranhas and that's just plain awesome.

For now we put this one somewhere on the South American Transfermeter between a Forlan and an Urruti.

 

 

"Young Gil really needs a transfer"

THE WORD: Jermain? Possibly present.

Get used to telling guys where to stand mate

"Glamour models" of Canada rejoice! According to internationally renowned truth-peddling newspaper The Mirror, Toronto FC have found "the biggest MLS DP of all timez" - Tottenham Hotspur stalwart/lady aficionado Jermain Defoe.

Now this is isn't the first time that TFC and Defoe's name have been linked in a #LeiwekeLeaks scoop but it is the first time that any major media outlet has gone as far as to say that a deal has been struck. And what a deal*! A reported $150,000 (US)-a-week, 4-year contract which we assume includes Andrew Wiedeman as Defoe's butler. This is in addition to an apparent transfer fee in the $10-12 Million range to be paid to Spurs.

How sure are The Mirror that this deal is done? They hired the top designers in the Fleet Street game to Photoshop Defoe's face onto a Mountie. That kind of Rap Game Stereotyping does not come cheap!

Now before we all run out and get our TFC Defoe kits made (Except you of course, torn Toronto FC/Arsenal supporters. Suck it.) let us remember that TFC and transfers are never a black-and-white case. From Urrutis to Forlans to Gilardinos and er... Ben Haims - this stuff never goes smoothly at BMO Field. Does Defoe "tick all the boxes" for Tim Leiweke and TFC? Yes. Does a player intent on making England's World Cup 2014 squad pine for a move to Major League Soccer's clown college? Not so fast.

Various mainstream North American media types are hedging their bets for and against The Mirror story tonight. Some are corroborating the rumour, some are saying it's being worked on and the odd one is pointing at TFC's history and laughing milk through their nostrils. Most likely where there is this much smoke, there is some fire. Whether or not it ignites into a full Deferno, the next few weeks should tell.

Many TFC fans will simply not believe this rumour until Jermaine Defoe is a solid 15 minutes into a match wearing the red of The Reds. This is a safe way to treat this for now. Could Defoe do a good job at TFC? Undoubtedly... but let's worry about that when said shirt goes over said rumoured DP's head.

Sunshine Girls - you have been warned.

THE WORD: "Yes" or Gilardi"No"?

"Can I get back to you on this one?"

 

Media in the land that TFC has so famously ignored (apparently) - Italy - is reporting today (translate for your pleasure) that Serie A club Genoa has accepted a transfer offer from Toronto for striker Alberto Gilardino. The rumoured $6 Million Dollar (US dollars assumed) fee is said to have met Genoa's demands for the forward leaving it up to the player to decide if BMO Field will be his next port of call.

 

From that point forward, details are muddled at best. Is the deal for the January window? Unlikely - probably post-World Cup. Could it really be a four-year deal meaning Gilardino would be 36 at the end of this financially hefty deal? Probably. And, is he honestly the best target for TFC's impotent offence? Hmm. Better than anything we have by a great deal but perhaps not the absolute best bang for the buck, not even amongst other potential Italians.

 

If and when this deal goes through there will be more than ample time to hand-wring over its pros and cons but it leaves us with a slight unease for a few reasons. The very large long-term financial anchor; the player's diminishing goal-scoring tally in the last few seasons; and, Gilardino's style of play which demands top-level service to poach goals rather than creating them with mobility. Lots of holes to fill before that exists in any form at TFC.

 

At full health and at his form of three or four years ago, wonderful. As an aging Italian version of Danny Koevermans... notsomuch. Here's hoping the ever-sophisticated TFC scouting goes deeper than his passport and former national team exploits. He will fill some of those empty seats for a while but they will only return if he is on a winning side. As with most of the other TFC DP rumours currently floating around, it has the strong whiff of marketing over tactics.



THE STARTING 11: Reasons why Diego Forlan would consider Toronto FC

A hair-raising possibility!



There is much to say about the widely rumoured imminent signing of Uruguayan forward/ shampoo & conditioner aficionado Diego Forlan. We will cross that elderly South American bridge when (and if) we come to it. Who knows... we may only be hours away from the unveiling of the TFC marketing department's newest star the next legend to don the famous TFC Red. While Forlan is beyond a doubt in the twilight of his career, the 34-year old can likely attract interest from other international clubs so why consider career graveyard BMO Field?
　
11. He would immediately go down in history as one of the Top 10 Greatest Uruguayans to ever play for TFC
　
10. His family are desperate to meet hilarious international YouTube comedian "El Mayor Rob Ford"
　
9. He wants to get as geographically distant from countryman Luis Suarez's "biting range" as possible
　
8. Pumped to reunite the Manchester United magic with kid he once saw in the Old Trafford parking lot - Richard Eckersley
　
7. When Jim Brennan calls - you answer.
　
6. It would be an honour to continue the lineage of great TFC strikers like Lombardo, Cunningham, Gerba and Mista
　
5. Famous Canadian health care system will be handy when ACL ruptures after first match on MLS artificial turf
　
4. He’s an amateur hawk wrangler
　
3. In his honour, Toronto movie rental institution "Queen Video" has promised to change name of store to "Monte Video"
　
2. The Greater Toronto Area is a hub of innovation in the field of effeminate hairband technology
　
1. The completion of TFC's new Five Year Plan will be a great 40th birthday present!

Quelle surprise! Hassli pour The Hoops?

Ah, the Frisco nightlife would suit the L'Hassli

Either this deal is done or the FC Dallas' front office will be getting emails RE: Tampering very soon. Earlier this evening, courtesy of the Queen's Park Texas Rangers Twitter account, this little nugget was dropped...

NEWS: #FCDallas is in talks with Toronto FC and close to finalizing a deal to bring Eric Hassli to Dallas.
— FC Dallas (@FCDallas) February 1, 2013

The rumours about Eric Hassli's tres miserables feelings (and his wife's geography concerns) since Paul Mariner's dismissal from TFC have been rampant but few saw this possibility coming. If the tweet is to believed (and it kind of has to be) then FC Dallas has once again become the place where TFC sends its DP's that were bought without thinking. Hassli, he of the lumbering trot and numerous attempts at circus shots, clearly does not want to continue in Toronto and you get the vibe from Kevin Payne that the feeling is very, very mutual.

The fact that Hassli looks likely to move is no shock. This despite his heart-warming answer when asked on TFC Media Day if he is happy in Toronto - his reply "...................... (pause for dramatic Gallic effect) .................. yeah." Tres bien monsieur! No the shock will be if TFC can get away with getting anything in return and not having to eat too much of his bloated and short-sightedly renewed contract.

For Kevin Payne and the club going forward, Hassli's departure would aid them greatly simply in salary flexibility and an open international slot not to mention still allowing them the ability to cut a remaining DP. Yes, in the end giving away a (likely high) 1st Round Pick to our "pals" in Vancouver for a few underwhelming appearances will hurt but it's too late to cry over bone-headed milk. In the road forward, it is just another casualty in a desperately needed cull.

More news when anything become l'official.... or that kid who runs the FC Dallas Twitter account gets jumpy again...