TFZ: Preki & Mista in name-game blame shame?

All in a name?

"Qu'est-ce que vous rumourez? Nous whisper non truths allez!" Oui! It's time for another TFZ: The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone. It's the # 1 source for TFC rumours with zero sources! Bonjour Monsieur ou-est le rumour rouge avec la vache?
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- Is the whole Preki vs. Mista argument story a true verbal battle? Whispers have it that the bust-up is not about Mista's halftime substitution but rather over a long-standing dispute between the two over who has the best shortened Euro-nickname! 5-letter word!
　
- Dan Gargan's sudden penchant for long throw-ins has earned him the locker-room moniker of "The American Rory Delap". Meanwhile, Fuad Ibrahim is being called "Ethiopia's Next Top Andy Welsh" You got name!
　
- Backroom staff are apparently blaming last week's disastrous loss to New York on a few members hitting The Ex on the way to the stadium. An unidentified source claimed "those idiots were full of tiny donuts and had Polar Express-head" Doughy & dizzy!
　
- The side project of two young TFC players has come to a crashing failure after Emanuel Gomez and Amadou Sanyang's attempt at being restauranteurs collapsed. "Manny & Dou Dou's Gambian Buffet" shockingly went bankrupt 45 minutes after opening. Gambi-oh!
　
- Depressed TFC players are openly blaming the team's woeful road record on Preki's demand that the team watches his favourite film, Bette Midler's 1988 classic "Beaches" as their only in-flight movie. Wind Beneath No Wins!
　
- On the heels of Preki's induction into the US Soccer Hall of Fame, another ex-TFC'er is in line for another honour. Former striker Collin Samuel will soon be inducted into "The Caribbean Competitive Eating Hall of Fame". Hot Dog!
　
- Officially, Chad Barrett was left off of the Panama trip due to "injury" but word out of BMO Field is that the mercurial striker was upset because he thought the team was actually going to Panama City, Florida for vacation. The pouty forward apparently locked himself in a cupboard with his flip-flops, water-wings and beer-bong. Panama!

TFZ: Wanna La Broc 'n Roll all night?

That guy in the back sure looks like a midfielder

Here it is... TFZ: The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone! The # 1 source for Toronto FC rumours with zero sources! "I pulled up to these rumours around seven or eight. And I yelled to the truth 'Yo homes, smell ya later!"
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- Adrian Cann, who admitted on GOL TV he wants to model for Armani, is jealous of teammate Jacob Peterson who has become the face of a new "Low-fat calorie-free non-dairy skim milk product" Moo-ve over Fabio!
　
- Was that TFC's infamous playboy Nick La Brocca stumbling out of a Manhattan hotspot at 3AM? Witnesses say a "soccer player, who looks like an attorney, wearing gold hotpants and with a supermodel on each arm" was making quite the splash on the disco dance floor! Nick at night!
　
- TFC's Latvian defender/ anti-consonant crusader Raivis Hscanovics has started a new literacy charity for young supporters called "Hscanovics Bks 4 Chldrnz Fndtn" S-m-r-t!
　
- Former Reds midfielder Laurent Robert claimed in French society magazine "Le Malaise" that his time in Toronto was unsuccessful due to "lies that Canada was a French country" and that Toronto was "a proletariat provincial town that had terrible escargots and an obsession with wearing deodorant" Sacre bleu!
　
- TFC are preparing for their Latin American CCL matches by spending hours in a hyperbaric chamber that re-creates the effect of high altitude, tropical environs while blasting the music of Los Lobos through speakers. They have also embarked on a strict diet of refried refried recycled beans, "meat" and tabasco water" Ay dios mio!
　
- Carl Robinson is having a hard time adjusting to life with New York Red Bulls as he is unaccustomed to oddities like "quality signings, ambitious owners and winning" Save the Wales!
　
- TFC "defender" Nick Garcia may fulfill a life-long dream and appear in an episode of De Grassi: The Next Generation. Garcia will play "Rick Charcia" - a "special" mature student who causes an accident on a short school bus while getting Spike pregnant! Everybody wants something!
　
TFZ: Truth is scoreless on the road!

"How could Rick Charcia do this to me?"

TFZ: BMO Field security to rock out with their hawk out?

"Bitch Squad Alpha report to Section 112 immediately!"

What time is it? It's TFZ: The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone time... yo! Word. Your # 1 source for Toronto FC rumours with zero sources! You just ordered a Rumour Sandwich... hold the truth!
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- Tensions have been rising at BMO Field and the security team may have the answer. An elite band of the finest rent-a-cops at BMO will soon form "The Bitch Squad" who will dress in costumes designed to mask themselves as "Bitchy" the BMO Field hawk allowing them to sneak up on streamer felons and their shirtless ilk. S-hawk and awe!
　
- TFZ reader Jeff wrote in and said that his brother used to mow the old Field Turf at BMO and told him that the reason Edson Buddle was traded back in year one was because "he hurt the goalkeepers feelings in practice with all that goal scoring" Sensitive!
　
- A former Toronto FC defender is going to release a shocking tell-all book about his time with The Reds. "Rick Titus: 1 Match in Hell" is due for release in time for Christmas. Words!
　
- TFC supporters could be hit in the pocketbook soon. Danny Dichio has instructed the law firm of Cellino, Barnes & La Brocca to go after the rights for "The Dichio Song" and to collect on due royalties from supporters who have used his intellectual property for three years. Stingy-oh!
　
- There's no new DP on the cards but Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment will likely unveil 6 new kits for the Champions League Group Stage. Also in the works are an "affordable" CCL ticket package (when you buy two Marlies season tickets) and the limited time only "Spicy CONCACAF Butty" for $7.99! Cheap as chips!
　
- MLSE is trying to negotiate a new radio deal with The Fan 590. The new agreement would only see TFC matches pre-empted by Blue Jays baseball, the Argos, Toronto Rock lacrosse, High School curling, Senior's Lawn Bowling quarter-finals and "This Week in Mini-Golf" Tune in!
　
- TFC angered the mayor of Tegucigalpa, Honduras, Senor Antonio "Tony" Motagua, when they refused to stay at his recommended hotel - "El Villa Dos Gringos Morte" in the city's Caliente Diablo neighbourhood. Mayor Tony Motagua was quoted in the El Daily Lobo newspaper saying TFC "were stinking cock-a-roaches". Ay dios mio!
　
TFZ: Truth just lost 3-2 on aggregate

The Mayor: "Say hello to Tegucigalpa"

TFZ: Rude in Riga - Raivis uses vowel language!

"RSTLN - who do we appreciate?"

It's that time again - TFZ: The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone... the # 1 source for Toronto FC gossip with zero sources! When the hot gossip pops outta the toaster, we spread the fake butter all over it!
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- TFC's Latvian defender Raivis Hscanovics shocked Reds' supporters with a tell-all interview in the Riga, Latvia newspaper Dienas Kaposti un Atletika Jaunumi (Daily Cabbage & Sport News) where he claimed "Canadians are soft and far too reliant on using vowels". How ruud!
　
- Ex-Red (and ex-many clubs) Rohan Ricketts' new hip-hop single "Cross That Sh*t In Yo Box" has soared to number 23 on the Hungarian rap charts. Hot like paprika!
　
- The Toronto Transit Commission rejected an application to name the "Dufferin 29" bus route "The Lombardo Rocket" after its famous ex-rider, ex-TFC striker Andrea Lombardo
　
- The Toronto Transit Commission rejected an application to drive the "Dufferin 29" bus route from ex-TFC striker Andrea Lombardo
　
- Spanish striker Mista says his resemblance to Hollywood actor Sean Penn led to his locker room nickname at Deportivo La Coruna - "Harvey Milk". Umm... Ok!
　
- A local Toronto pet store employee claims that "Bitchy" the BMO Field hawk's handler went on a drunken seed rampage while yelling at customers "Don't you know who I am? I am Mr. F***ing Bitchy - bitches!" S-hawk-ing!
　
- Former Toronto FC and New Zealand International Jarrod Smith has hit out at his time with The Reds claiming "Toronto was 18 games worth of sheep-less misery". Baaa-d attitude!
　
- Looks like a well known chicken restaurant is getting in on the TFC promotion bandwagon by buying a supporter chant! The BMO Field "Massive" will soon have its words officially changed to: "Qu'est-ce que vous mangez?"... "Quarter Chicken Swiss Chalet!" Saucy!
　
If you've got any gems that a guy who knows a guy who dated Mo's maid told you... let us know in the comments below!
　
TFZ: Truth just scored an own-goal.

"The Lombardo Rocket"

TFZ: Frei to cut the cheese? Saputo to wipe the knife?

It's Swiss crack

It's TFZ - The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone: The # 1 source for Toronto FC gossip with zero sources! From the streets, from the bars, from your cousin Lou - the stories come in... and the truth stays behind!
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- Rumours based on research were floating this week that TFC's Swiss keeper Stefan Frei is on his way to Stoke City for $3 Million - who needs research? The real juicy slice has Frei, an avid connoisseur of Swiss cheese, on his way next year to rival Montreal Impact where owner and dairy magnate Joey Saputo is offering big bucks and a side job as “Head of Swiss Cheese Hole-Poking”. Not Gouda news!
　
- Maicon Santos has his eye on more than goal in Toronto. The Brazilian striker wants to transform Toronto into the mecca of Lambada in North America with a new chain of dance studios. Forbidden!
　
- Was that Preki on a shopping spree at Le Chateau buying suits that resembled the ones worn by German head coach Joachim Low? Meee-ow... Jogi Love!
　
- Former TFC star midfielder Amado Guevara claims he would trade his World Cup experience this summer for just one more Tim Horton's Ice Capp!
　
- Del Piero to T.O? This one in from regular TFZ reader Mario who writes that a guy in his gym is married to the third cousin of Turin's seventh best Fiat salesman who sold a used Cinquecento to none other than Juventus star Alessandro Del Piero...'s childhood classmate - who in turn says that the Italian maestro is at least 20% sure that Toronto FC exists. Done deal!
　
- Is a drug scandal brewing in the TFC locker room? Reports of yelling and an intervention after Chad Barrett became enraged upon finding that all of the "Fred's" had been eaten out of his "Flintstone's Chewable Vitamins" bottle. Yabba Dabba drugs!
　
- Was TFC's performance against Philly down to the players hitting "the sauce" at an all-night party? Whispers outside of TFC's Pennsylvania hotel saw a dozen foot-long "Philly Cheese Steaks" with a tub of extra cheese sauce being smuggled in by "gentlemen in red track suits with an odd array of hairstyles" late Friday. Still not Gouda news!
　
Add your own fabricated rumours below!
TFZ: Toronto FC 1 - Facts 0

"I need my Fred's man - gimme my f***in' Fred's!!!"

TFZ: Butty-mad Rooney in TFC transfer shocker?

(L-R) Johnston, Rooney, Butty

Welcome to TFZ - The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone! This is your # 1 source for Toronto FC gossip with zero sources! Our team of intrepid reporters keeps their ears to the street - and then ignores it - to bring you the latest in late-breaking, hard-hitting, completely unreliable false rumourage!
　
This week on TFZ....
　
- Is MLSE ready to open the vault? Is Wonder ready to bake more bread? England striker and Chip Butty enthusiast Wayne Rooney is ready to make the leap to Toronto FC after word of BMO Field's Butty-making prowess reached Manchester. The bulldoggy United forward loves the idea of having his favourite meal after every match! What a morsel!

- Next week's Bolton Wanderers friendly was almost cancelled when Owen Coyle's squad made excessive hospitality demands including all-you-can-eat Steak & Kidney pies, non-stop Tetley Bitter and a year's worth of Coronation Street on DVD - how could Molly do that to Tyrone?!

- Ex-TFC'er Laurent Robert could be in for a shock return to Toronto after Preki claimed that the current squad lacks "the surly, sulky factor" - sacre bleu!

- Was that TFC's new Spanish forward Mista dancing naked on a TTC streetcar after Spain's win on Sunday? If he has a heart-shaped birthmark on his left buttock - then maybe!

- Former Toronto defender and Scarborough native Adrian Serioux has a cameo in the new Robert Rodriguez film "Predators". Serioux was not credited for his role as "Angry Predator # 2"

- Was that Collin Samuel staggering out of an all-night pie shop in Perth, Scotland? Someone's off the mincemeat wagon again!

- Toronto's MLS Cup Final halftime show may be a "Tribute to Canadian TV" with special appearances by Alan Thicke, three surviving "Beachcombers" and The Littlest Hobo! Entertaining!

- TFC's Russian defender and punching aficionado Maxim Usanov reveals he was heartbroken as a boy when he found out that his boyhood idol, Russian boxing champ Ivan Drago, wasn't a real person. Young Maxim apparently couldn't punch anything for weeks from sadness. I must break... your heart!
　
If you've heard (including in your own head) anything on the faux-football grapevine, don't be shy, add your own rumours in the TFZ comments section! Exclamation mark!