THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto V Montreal... or The Grandaddy of Them All (part 1 of 2)

The Voyageurs Cup. It is the stuff of boyhood dreams and legends.  107 clubs competed in this year's competition,  and now we're down to two.

Who can forget King of Donair Halifax being upset by the minnows of Dartmouth Harbour.   Or the Quebec City derby in the 3rd round between Ouest Quebec and FC Quebec.  The come-from-behind salvaging of FC Edmonton over New Westminister Eagles.  Heady stuff.

Until that fairytale comes true, our 5 club cup will suffice quite nicely.

Montreal qualified by some Toledo-esque bullshit that if it were hockey, a federal inquest would have been ordered.  Poor Edmonton and Colin Miller.  Toronto did the likely and knocked out the Vancouver U-17s in penalties.  They don't all have to be pretty to count. 

Onto the match:

20' - GOAL - corner floated into the gliding noggin of Doneil Henry, who buries it under thr bar
ROBINS 1, FROMAGE 0

29' - Morgan is really running the right back position showing off his speed and tenacity.  Really giving Mapp a bit of a headache so far.

31' - Toronto may have gotten away with one as a low rocket hit Caldwell in the arm on the edge of the box to no call.

33' - YELLOW - Rey for two handing someone in he chest 

41' - DeRo floats a ball across the face of goal and just misses a lunging Gilberto

Half Time Mood : underwhelmed but, hey, winning! 

57' - DeRo has a ball squared to him and fires hitting the top left crossbar.  Nearly legendary. 

69' - Wow.  Ok, DeRo tries to chip the keeper and hits the crossbar.  So close.  The ball finds Gilberto whose bicycle kick lands safely in the hands of the keeper #TakeAShot

73' - GOAL - Mapp given way too much space to run into the top of the box and has a go, burying it past a standing Bendik.
ROBINS 1, FROMAGE 1

76' - SUB - Hall comes off for Bekker

79' - SUB - Rey makes way for Morrow

87' - Lovitz floats a ball into the box that finds Gilberto but goes well wide.   No need to take a shot.

3 mins of extra time

90+2' - last chance throw in gets popped into the box and DeRo just misses back heading the ball over the Montreal keeper but it ends up in his hands.

FULL TIME : TORONTO 1, MONTREAL 1

Man of the Match : Doneil Henry, not for the goal but for his hustle.  Morgan made a strong case for himself tonight as well.

Goat of the Game : Hagglund just because he had a few panicky lapses.  Wasn't overtly terrible just noticeably playing not as well as we've become used to.

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5.  Equally crap but blew more calls for Toronto.

Kit Spotting : Calgary Flames circa 1989.   I know it's not footy but no one is delivering here.

I Am Not The Gaffer But... : I can only imagine how one demotivates a side at halftime, only to come out so flat for the first 10 mins each game

In a nutshell,  Toronto were uninspired but Montreal were poor.  I don't know if Toronto deserved a draw necessarily,  but I strongly doubt Montreal deserved a goal at all.

Apologies are owed to DeRo as he had a great game and played the entire 90 minutes.  We had a pool going as to when he'd gas out and the table went as follows:
@RedWineRoz 7 minutes
@DuncanDFletcher 14
@ignirtoq 37
@theyorkies1812 45
@IamSairax 53
@kzknowles 63
Yeah, we all lost gloriously. He made some clever passes, made himself a threat and got into position often.  He's not the DeRo of 2011 but he still has something to offer.

If you could earn fantasy points for effort,  Gilberto would lead the league... I'm convinced the tourists who buy the scalper tickets are trying to out trend the baseball crowd by sitting around and having conversations.  You can do what you want with your ticket as you will, just don't look at me like I'm the idiot when I do start singing... Marketing at its finest - "Da-da da DA duh, I'm Dan Lovitz" (no, thank YOU McD's)... I feel for Morgan as Bloom owns that right back spot, but he played hard and focused.  This is how fighting for your place can be a helluva motivator... if Amway is going to be the only sponsor of the Match,  then it's only fair that you can only get Amway at the matches.  Amway peanuts with an ice cold Amway Light is really just to comical to not try once... Raise your hand if you expected Moore to come off the bench and poach a goal?  I didn't know he was hurt either.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6, Hagglund 5.5, Caldwell 6, Henry 7, Morgan 7, Rey 6.5 [Morrow N/A], Orr, Hall 6 [Bekker N/A], Lovitz 6.5, De Rosario 7, Gilberto 6.5.

@ignirtoq fully expects to be back on podcast duty next week as real life is taking over. This would be much more amusing if duty was spelled "doodie". Heheheh... doodie.

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v. Vancouver... or Robins with ADD

It's Voyageurs Cup time, which is sad because as much as I hate sponsorships, shortening the name to the NutCan was fantastical.  And calling it Stupid Pyramid Scheme Cup seems just a pinch disrespectful.

It's heady times in the Canadas as this edition has a mind-scrambling 5 clubs competing for domestic glory.  A little glad that Ottawa didn't make it out of the first round, as that takes the heat off of me for their 'mock' logo.

It's cool outside.  Minimal buggery no wait, bugs.   Toronto up against half of Vancouver's U-20 side.  Should be easy, no?

On to the match!

17 - Ball worked into box, Issey point blank,  saved by Fr. Guido Carducci

22 - tic tac to Issey,  criss to Gilberto and put it wide of post from 7 yds out. 

27 - GOAL - Gilberto slides a pretty ball springing Defoe and slides a ball past Fr. Guido Carducci.
ROBINS 1, 86ERS 0

31 - YELLOW - Bradley gets booked for a nonchalant trip

32 - Defoe gets a shot off from the left side of girl forcing Fr. Guido Carducci to make a diving save.

36 - Rey gets sent in, beating the keeper but sliding it across the face of goal

43 - Vancouver has woken up.  Massive lapse in the back four, Bendik makes a quality stop.  Ensuing rebound finds another boot that beats Bendik but not Henry on the line.  Harrowing stuff.

Half-Time Mood : Ummmmmmmmmmmmm... OK? *shrug*

62 - Human pinball has a shot of the cross bar, header by Henry finds Gilberto whose attempt hits a hand and the red sees nothing... peculiar

68 - nice cross from Bloom finds Isseys header and just misses the top corner

73 - beautiful cross from issey finds Rey who puts it into the box and nearly finds Gilberto.   #DoAShot

79 - SUB - DeRo in for Issey

88 - it looks like Gilberto is coasting and is getting an earful from Nelsen for lack of hustle.  Can I not blame either party here?

89 - GOAL - Bradley breaks down the win and slots it past the keeper
ROBINS 2, 86ERS 0

89 - SUB - Weideman on for Gilberto

90+1 - GOAL - Manneh.  Didn't see it.   Almost saw a Donnybrook as Manneh and DeRo start at it after the goal and Manneh says something to Bendik.
ROBINS 2, 86ERS 1

FULL TIME : TORONTO 2, VANCOUVER 1

Man of the Match : Issey was fun. Rey was fun.  Bradley gets it though.

Goat of the Game : no one was exceptionally bad

Ref Rating : 2 out of 5.  Toronto has had penalties awarded against them for lesser crimes than the ones Vancouver got away with.

Kit Spotting : Celtic bumblebee kit from a distance.  Would've won it had I put on my newly acquired Sheffield Wednesday shirt.

I Am Not The Gaffer But... : Subs earlier.   Gilberto could've come off after 70 mins.

Gilberto Drinking Game : 4 shots.  About 4 near shots on top of that so you might have been pissed up.

Still not convinced things are working together as the can be or should be.  Plenty of quality individual efforts all over the park but few potential game changing moments that could have been.  Playing against a stripped down Vancouver side should have been a simple game running out 3-0 victors by the hour mark but they were lacking.  Yes, they are playing well.  Yes, they are good enough to win something.  No, they are not playing up to their potential.  Toronto should have walked away with this game or fought hard for this result and neither was the case.

Although prepared for midges with a mosquito head thingies,  there wasn't enough of them to truly pesty... Issey was getting a good hacking out there.  Was afraid he would be missing chunks of his legs if he kept playing... you can tell that Vancouver were giving a pile of kids their first runs out just by their shirt number.   32, 36, 38 and a 44 were on display... For every head scratcher Rey did out there, he had a pile of nice turns and passes... at least the rain held out... Some of the much coveted "bro demographic" either love singing for Toronto, or have no idea how away goals work in these things.  I wouldn't be singing too much tonight.

Player Ratings : Bendik 6.5, Bloom 7.5, Caldwell 6, Henry 6.5, Morrow 6, Bekker 6.5, Rey 7, Bradley 7.5, Gilberto 6.5 [Weideman N/A], Issey 7 [DeRo N/A], Defoe 6.5

@ignirtoq still hasn't done laundry from Saturday but braved what little elements that nature could serve up.  He also believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Gilberto scoring.

AFTER 90: Cup runneth ugly

Goodbye old friend

MONTREAL VS. TORONTO

VOYAGEURS CUP SEMI-FINAL 2nd LEG

STADE SAPUTO

　

FIRST HALF:

KICK OFF - In Toronto there is no sporting event bigger than this Amway Canadian Championship Semi-Final tonight. We heard rumours of some type of winter sport being scheduled but couldn't see anything on Wikipedia. Luge? L'anyhoo - the only thing left to find out is how hard Montreal Impact are about to play...

2' - Robert Earnshaw making a surprise start and almost puts the semi-final away but counter attack shot dings the goalpost. Si proche!

5' - Every time I hear Jeb Brovsky I picture a frat house fatty tapping a keg. Le bro.

10' - Stefan Frei slides his way out of a dangerous Andrew Wenger charge and clears. "The Goalblerone" putting the body on the line. Suisse.

12' - Great frenetic pace both ways early on. Neither club giving too many inches. Etroit.

14' - YELLOW CARD: Doneil Henry roadblocks the dangerous Wenger. Disque tacle.

17' - YELLOW CARD: Reggie Lambe for having a 1/6 in 6 game. Moutons.

22' - Both teams playing very high lines. Something has got to give soon on the counter attack. Erreurs.

24' - GOAL: Montreal - On cue. An unmarked Justin Mapp cleans up a mess in the area and slots past a sprawling Frei. Merde.

MONTREAL 1 - TORONTO 0 (1-2 AGGREGATE)

30' - L'Impact have got the provolone between the teeth since the goal. TFC on the ropes. Motivés.

33' - GOAL: Montreal - On cue: Part deux - Daniele Poponi goes around Ashtone Morgan like a training pylon. Awful. Très horrible.

MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 0 (2-2 AGGREGATE)

37' - Just for shiggles Montreal subs in some flash in the pan named Marco Di Vaio or something.

40' - Kyle Bekker with a medium strength long-distance strike. TFC's first attempt in ages. Froid.

43' - GOAL: Montreal - Simple cross seems to pass through 19 different TFC players (yes,even the bench) and lands at the feet of... who else? Marco Di Vaio. Embarrassant.

MONTREAL 3 - TORONTO 0 (3-2 AGGREGATE)

45' - Could not have wished for a worse half. Cauchemar.

HALFTIME: MONTREAL 3 - TORONTO 0

(3-2 AGGREGATE)

SECOND HALF:

45' - SUBS: Jeremy Hall and Luis Silva on for Kyle Bekker and Andrew Wiedeman. Kind of like bringing on Marco Di Vaio. But not.

50' - TFC vainly attempting to muster some offence for the important away goal but lack the quality in attack to create real chances.

55' - Wow. Matias Laba better look like Diego Maradona Jr. if things are going to change going forward for TFC this year.

61' - GOAL: Montreal - Marco Di Vaio eats Toronto's "defence" alive before slotting a pinpoint pass to Andres Romero who scores with ease. Who knew you were allowed two good players up front in football? Huh.

MONTREAL 4 - TORONTO 0 (4-2 AGGREGATE)

68' - Montreal more than happy to pass this match into oblivion. TFC more than indifferent to let that happen.

73' - SUB: Ashton Bennett on for the spirited Jonathan Osorio

77' - Pigeon French and cheese references unsurprisingly of little comfort

84' - Bizarre turn of events as John Bostock only one showing any emotion on TFC.

90'+ - GOAL: Montreal - Di Vaio does what he does and turns match into a bigger farce.

MONTREAL 5 - TORONTO 0 (5-2 AGGREGATE)

90'+ - GOAL: Montreal - Farce to disgrace. Andrew Wenger powers home the 6th goal. That's one more in goal difference than the 6-1 win of TFC you're if you're counting.

MONTREAL 6 - TORONTO 0 (AGGREGATE 6-2)

FULL TIME: MONTREAL 6 - TORONTO 0

AGGREGATE 6-2

PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 4 / Ryan Richter 4 / Doneil Henry 3 / Danny Califf 4 / Ashtone Morgan 3 / John Bostock  4.5 / Kyle Bekker 4 (Jeremy Hall 5) / Jonathan Osorio 6 (Ashton Bennett N/A) / Reggie Lambe 3 / Andrew Wiedeman 4 (Luis Silva 4) / Robert Earnshaw 4

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH:
Really? Jonathan Osorio. Why not?

THE BATH:

So I guess TFC were resting the "A Squad" (if that's really a thing here) for that big match on Saturday against bitter rivals... the Colorado Rapids? Even if that were true, you will be hard-pressed to find a Toronto supporter tonight who is ok with that. You'd likely find less who will find any silver lining from a match where TFC showed such a lack of vision, skill and, most worryingly, spirit against their greatest rivals.

 

Yes the gulf in talent between Montreal and Toronto is embarrassingly drifting wider all the time but going into a derby match with a 2-0 aggregate and simply not showing up is nothing short of an insult to your support. A support who have had little to hang on to outside of this tournament and its CONCACAF reward. The result will be wrapped up and promo'd as a "learning experience" by the club but management should be very concerned by a squad that seems to lack a lot of fire at the moment. Worried more that they could take such a beating from their only true rival. That is no building block.

THE MATCHUP: Bon Voyaguers?

It's the cheesiest!!!

MONTREAL (0) VS. TORONTO (2)

VOYAGEURS CUP SEMI-FINAL 2ND LEG
　
STADE SAPUTO - WEDNESDAY 7:30PM
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
The only real story to look out for in this 2nd Leg matchup is whether or not Montreal manager Marco Schallibaum sticks to his guns and continues to undervalue The Voyageurs Cup. Now it’s not as if Impact put out a squad far inferior to TFC in the 1st Leg last week but perhaps a lack of passion or urgency made the difference. While the manager turned his EuroNose up at the Canadian Championship, Montreal supporters were not happy over the apparent capitulation going as far as staging a silent protest during Saturday’s league fixture.
　
Of course this may reinforce the opinion in some that the VCup "doesn't matter". We say tell that to the fans who have paid to go to every match since the cup's re-creation and enjoy the fixtures as much as any MLS counterpart. We take these supporters' opinions every time over any journalist who decides to pop up like a Whack-A-Mole provocateur. Want to write about an imperfect tournament? Sure, go right ahead but do so with facts and potential solutions to its flaws. Instead, we expect said journalist(s) to disappear once again only to re-emerge when its' "cool to shit on Canadian Soccer" again. Meanwhile, real supporters of the game here will continue to enjoy a tournament that has its imperfections but is sure better than no Canadian club championship at all. Le rant fini.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The 401 (VCup) Derby 2: Electric Goudaloo"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
MONTREAL: Patrice Bernier, Justin Mapp, Daniele Poponi
TORONTO: Kyle Bekker, Danny Califf, Stefan Frei

Admit it... you'd love one.

THE ODDS:

Montreal supporters sitting in silence due to:
- Protest over previous loss to TFC: 2-1
- The smooth, mellow taste of many DuMaurier cigarettes: 5-1
- Overly chewy gouda: 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
We know anyone claiming that the Voyageurs Cup "isn't important" is just trying to get a rise out of fans. In fact, on Wednesday evening there simply will not be a bigger sporting event on the Toronto calendar! So confident in the 2nd Leg's ratings bonanza, TFC lobbied to have the start time changed to help out one of their struggling and lesser-known corporate sporting brethren. Apparently, an "Iced Hockey" club named the Toronto Maple Leaves (how quaint!) are competing in an amateur event for the Stanley Tools Trophy. We know that this is a footballing nation first and foremost but if you have the time try and support these icebound upstarts. Best of luck to them and their little sport - hope it catches on here one day.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "TRES IMPORTANT"
　
And… for dual purposes we present the effervescent Quebecois chanteuse Mitsou. 1) Because our pal, the proprietor of Waking The Red isn’t aware of her once-lushness… and 2) we want to sarcastically refer to L’Impact as our "cowboy". Bye Bye.

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Montreal... or Who isn't predicting a draw snatched from the jaws of victory tonight?

New scarves from the Yorkies Collection... ok, they're not, but I wish they were.

I had a whole "prediction" bit, but since most of those could not occur, including one where Bitchy takes off again, but gets caught in the north end goal netting, this had to be removed.  Pity, really.

Welcome to the national cup.  The Voyageurs Cup.  Formerly the NutCan, - I still don't know how that never caught on.  Gimmicks aside, this is the closest this nation will have to a proper play-down to a national champion, so let's enjoy it for the four teams that participate in it... for now (yes, Ottawa, we see you over there).

Historically, this is a trophy Toronto wins a pile of times.  They have never been worthy of continental participation, however. While some nations must endure their national league's season or multi-divisional knock out competition, Canada prances along two rounds of two-legs and crowns a champion.  Enter the Robin dominance.

Hot off of a string of matches where they have successfully donated a point to their opponents while in control, Toronto is starting to show signs of cohesion and chemistry.  Can, what appears to be, the Toronto Reserves maintain this show of momentum?

Starting XI

Frei (welcome back)

Richter - Henry - Califf - Morgan

Bostock - Bekker - Osorio - Welshman

Braun - Wiedeman

Full disclosure : I didn't write all too much, because as it has been much of this season, weather is not our friend, and wanting to write was difficult.  So here's what went down in a nutshell...

18' - Free kick from Bostock sent Evan Bush diving left to save it.

42' - Justin Mapp (you know what I'm talking about...)

50' - GOAL - Wiedeman lays a long pass, likely erroneously, way out to Osorio whose attempt is blocked by a defender, but the loose ball is gathered by Henry who arcs one in from 25 yards out.
ROBINS 1, FROMAGE 0

71' - SUB - Braun, a.k.a. Koevers Light, a.k.a. The Brass Bullet, comes off for Ephraim

71' - SUB - Bekker comes off for Silva

82' - GOAL - Silva slots a lovely ball onto the path of Wiedeman, who then slots it himself past Bush low and to the right.
ROBINS 2, FROMAGE 0

Full Time : TORONTO 2, MONTREAL 0

Man of the Match : Bostock played really well, and was starting to show flashes of confidence and brilliance from the KC match at the SkyDome at the beginning of the season.

Goat of the Game : none.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5.  Let the game go, nothing questionable, kept control.

I Am Not The Gaffer But... : are you kidding?  He played the reserves against their reserves.  Nelsen did fine.

Seriously, if the weather keeps up, I'm going to hire a stenographer.  Writing was tough, and the wind was chilly as all hell... Announced attendance was 11000+.  My best estimation was that there was a Marlies game next door and they counted it as 'close enough'... Frei didn't have a heck of a lot to do but looked confident.  Sadly nothing worthy of putting Bendik's job under threat, but like much of this side's history, we (still) have two quality keepers at our disposal... With one pass, Silva showed that he's, at least, the most creative midfielder we have.

Open letter to TFC:

Dear keepers of the footie,

If When Toronto plays their opponent in the final of the V-Cup, half-price concessions and cheaper beer and you'll pack the place.  In fact, any midweek matches where the suburbia crowd cannot be bothered to make it down, give them an incentive to try and make it.  I'll spend my money at the ground rather than the weak selection of restaurants in the area.

And no, free name printing or 25% off merchandise isn't a 'thing'.

Sincerely,

The Yorkies
The Statler and Waldorf of your Muppet Show

THE MATCHUP: Weather or not

Match-ready.



TORONTO VS. MONTREAL
VOYAGEURS CUP SEMI-FINAL 1ST LEG
　
BMO FIELD - WEDNESDAY 7:45PM
TV: SPORTSNET ONTARIO
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Giant weather laser at the ready... The V-Cup is back! The domestic cup and its associated bilingual bragging rights are set for this year's challenge as Montreal come to town to try and snatch the trophy from its four-year resting place, BMO Field. By hook or by crook - or by manipulating the barometric atmosphere through MLSE pagan sacrifice to ancient weather gods - TFC has held on to the V-Cup like Mo Johnston held on to employment. This season however may be their most difficult test.
　
You cannot argue that TFC are the weakest squad of the three MLS clubs in the tournament and opening up with a derby kerfuffle just throws more wrenches at monkeys. This fact has raised some interesting debate locally whether TFC should "go for it" or conversely play a "B Squad". While Ryan Nelsen will no doubt explore some squad rotation, around these parts we hope they aim to fivepeat and bring a little glory to what may be a testing season. If not... make a tornado appear... that's fun too.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The 401 Derby: Voyageurs Remix"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Kyle Bekker, John Bostock, Hogan Ephraim
MONTREAL: Patrice Bernier, Marco Di Vaio, Andrew Wenger
　
THE ODDS:
- Italo-centric heavy rain: 2-1
- Francophile tornado: 5-1
- Provolone-infatuated hurricane: 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
While our domestic rivals in Vancouver, Montreal and er... Edmonton may bemoan our meteorological/Trois Rivieres good luck in retaining the Voyageurs Cup, MLSE has gone to great lengths to distance the club from any "supernatural" conspiracy. "We are committed to a winning culture and the competitive spirit of the Canadian Championship, all talk of the MLSE GiantWeatherLaserTron X09 is just unsubstantiated rumour" said an unnamed source close to ownership. When pressed over rumours that ancient weather god idols were found during the building of BMO Field the answer was a terse "no comment". We thought we heard them mutter "Rain your vengeance upon these unbelievers oh powerful and mighty Jupiter" but when we said "Pardon?" they just said "good tickets still available!".
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "AWAY SUPPORTERS SECTION OVERWHELMED BY BIZARRE LOCALIZED MONSOON"
　
And... Just to beat Whitecaps to their early excuse for next round...

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Vancouver... Or worst champions evar!?!?1!!!

When I think of the V-cup (formerly the NutCan), I think of stupid 8pm kick-offs and a traditional staring competition with the eye of some storm.  I'm not impressed that the correlation doesn't involve a championship.

Can you believe it? We've won this thing before.  Many times. Consecutively. Strange... And poor Vancouver - a beacon of domestic supremacy (*spit* 86ers!) for the better part of 20+ years.  This is truly a bizarro scenario.

If you're visiting this site for the first time, what the hell are you doing here?  Here's a recap: haven't earned a point all season yet yet on the cusp of silverwear, the striker thinks he's on the worst team in the world, we're grateful for a lack of relegation and a "coffee gopher" may very well be our next manager.

And Koevermans' enlightenment has found him on the bench.  Tactical I'm sure...

Predictions were 2-1, 2-0, 1-0 for the visitors, 2-1, 3-2, 4 (and up)-0 for Toronto and a 3-3 draw.  I called 1-1 and the Robins win on penalties.


On to the match:

Capo : Everybody, hands up

Tony : We're being robbed!

5' - Plata is injured!  At least he should be with how he's playing.  Check this out, he received a pass and instead of doing 4 stepovers, he had a go for 25 yards out.  Stopped by Cannon.

7' - Plata gets on the end of a cross with a weak glancing header but it handcuffs Cannon trickling just past the face of goal.

Quote of the Match:

If you ask me, I believe the Queen had her offed.

~ Brandon on Winter's formation and not the conspiracy
surrounding the death of Lady Diana.

21' - If Vancouver goes up 1-0, I hear they've got an earthquake planned for this year's natural disaster...

36' - Free kick has Frings launch a low rocket just wide of the net.

Half-Time mood : content.  Toronto are playing well right now.

54' - SUB - Avila goes down hurt and Koevermans is about to come on the pitch, however...

56' - RED - deGoo hits the showers for slapping Davidson but was likely getting at least a yellow for shoving Le Toux.  In all fairness, Le Toux goes off for his second yellow.  Davidson stayed down a long time for that slap.  Musta been a haymaker.

60' - SUB - Eckersley comes into the game for the injured Avila.

63' - Cross gets glanced again, this time by Lambe, that rolls across the face of goal.  If only we had a #10 type player sitting on the bench...

75' - YELLOW - Lambe goes into the books for a hard foul with no ball.

77' - SUB - Plata makes way for Soolsma.

81' - Eckersley beats his man and slides a pretty ball across the box that Soolsma leans into and slams it into the back the net.  I should mention that he was a few feet offside when he received it.

83' - GOAL - Lambe undoes two defenders and pots it past Cannon.

ROBINS 1, VANCHESTER CITY 0

84' - SUB - Lambe comes off for Dunfield.

85' - YELLOW - Henry gets booked for something.

85' - Vancouver free kick just goes over the bar.  Ohmygoodness...

5 minutes of extra time

90+3' - Vancouver corner had everyone come down for it, including Cannon.  Kocic goes up for it and misses and takes a knock.  Thankfully, the ball was cleared by Morgan.

Full-Time : Somehow... Toronto 1, Vancouver 0

Toronto FC, against all common sense and expectations and currently 0-0-9 in league play, are your Voyageurs Cup Champions.  Yeah, I know, right?

It's also been brought to my attention that Toronto FC goes right into the Champs League main groups... mind you, so does everyone else.  Eight groups of 3 teams each.

Man of the Match : Frings was excellent.  Also, Plata played well, Morgan was very good too.

Goat of the Game : deGoo for the stupidity on the pitch, but otherwise he wasn't that bad.  And Vancouver were playing "very aggressively", which should be read as "being big asshats" so I get his frustration.  (Maybe it is my bias, but before I can be called on that, read some of my other reports how I bury the mighty Robins.)

Ref Rating : 1 out of 5.  Piss piss poor.  Linesmen were bad.  The ref lost control quickly of the match.  Blew plenty of easy calls.  They should get a +1 for not falling for Hassli's antics, but get a -1 for not booking his whining disposition.

Seriously, we're the worst champions in the world.  Quite possibly in history.  Granted, I don't think there are many national championships awarded after a 4-team 2-leg knock-out competition... Plata was cutting back on his step-overs and I hope he realized he was far more effective because of it... I kinda felt bad for Koevermans not getting subbed.  I understood why, as the red card changed the strategic dynamic of the game.  I was certain he would come on as Johnson was about to lose his crap all over his marker, but he did not... Toronto controlled most of the first half, and a good chunk of the second half.  Vancouver didn't get many clear opportunities at Kocic and that's big props to Toronto's back four... Seriously Hassli, in your career, has pleading with officials made your game that much more effective?  You play rough and weren't called on it, and you were roughed up and weren't called on it.  Which way would you prefer?... Speaking of Koevermans, I totally get his frustrations.  At 0-0-9, someone has to break their silence... I should give a few shout-outs.  Aside from the usual @theyorkies1812 and @rohankoomar, its nice to see @kzknowles hanging out and enjoying the madness. 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I'd like my football team to be, you know, ordinary and boring.  You know Kansas City doesn't have stupid drama like this.  Neither does San Jose.  Neither does Chicago.  I'm sure they have dramas, but this is just beyond normal.  Oh football... how I adore thee. C'mon you Robins!

Player Ratings : Kocic 7, Hall 6, Cann 6, Henry 6.5, Morgan 7, deGoo 6, Frings 7, Plata 7.5 [Soolsma 7], Johnson 6.5, Avila 6 [Eckersley 6.5], Lambe 7 [Dunfield N/A]

Should boredom ensue, please follow me on twitter @ignirtoq and see the madness whenever I choose to contribute.  The name comes from a character I had in a video game for a few years.  It is not football related.  Otherwise, popping in from time to time just to see what's up is totally acceptable.

THE MATCHUP: Earth, Wind & Dire

"The Giant Laser is working!!!... er, I mean, look... a storm."

TORONTO VS. VANCOUVER
AMWAY CANADIAN CHAMPIONSHIP
FINALS 2ND LEG - AGGREGATE 1-1
　
BMO FIELD - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: SPORTSNET ONE
　
THE KICKABOUT:
With all of the off-season expectations of better things to come forgotten, Toronto FC's 2012 season has (already) come down to this. There is no other chance at glory this year apart from hoisting the club's fourth Voyageurs Cup. The Reds have a slight advantage going in after scoring a key away goal in the first leg but, if the team that Danny Koevermans' hinted may be the worst in the world right now, plays as they did on Saturday in D.C. - that advantage will be wiped out. Unless of course, a violent weather front wipes out the game first. Optimism!
　
A loss on Wednesday could of course have much deeper repercussions than just an empty spot in TFC's trophy case. A loss in "The Cank" may very well give the Tom Anselmi-led front office cabal all of the ammunition they need in some supporters' eyes to put an end to Aron Winter's reign. With the palace coup coronation of Jim Brennan to first in line to the throne complete, the transition could be swift and Brennan (or as he will be managerially known: Jose Cappuccino) may soon be in charge. Of course, a win would be more fun - if not for the relief of victory but rather the chance to enter the CONCACAF Champions League as Canada's representative with a potential 0-20 league record. It would be CSA-riffic!
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Great Canadian Bagel II: Cank's for the Memories"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Ryan Johnson, Danny Koevermans, Nick Soolsma
VANCOUVER: Camilo, Eric Hassli, Darren Mattocks
　
THE ODDS:
- Massive thunderstorm: 3-1
- Baker's dozen of tornadoes: 10-1
- Biblical plague of frogs: 30-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
The conspiracy theorists amongst the Vancouver Whitecaps supporters have already complained to the CSA, CONCACAF and the United Nations after strange gambling trends around this match have been detected from Asia. Large amounts of money have suddenly been put onto "Southern Ontario low pressure fronts", "Nor'Easters" and "Giant Laser Accident/ Toronto". There has been no official word yet from any official football body, Environment Canada, Ban-Ki Moon or any local supervillains.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "CLEAR SKIES USHER IN WINTER'S END"

And... since it's Tuesday(?!) and we all need a dance... if tactics and/or inclement weather don't do the trick, we can try this...

THE SOUTH STAND REPORT - Toronto v Montreal... or When will the bleeding stop?

My apologies for the delay.  I'm sick.  Sore throat, congestion, the whole shooting match.

Sure, Toronto hasn't won a game in the MLS so far, but when you think of it, they haven't done too bad in all other competitions in 2012.  1-2-1 in Champs League and unbeaten in V-Cup.

OK, optimism over.  There isn't much of an excuse as to why this side is as mediocre as they are.  They should have a winning record with this side.  Maybe a little 3-3-2 or something like that.  But no.  Last Saturday's match was such a scam, Groupon would have to offer refunds.

And optimism isn't flying high around the stands.  Predictions were 2-0, 2-1 for les Fromages, but there were 2-0 and a gutsy 2-1 after extra time for the mighty Robins.

Onto the match.

2' - GOAL - No f'ing way!  Plata has a go in front of a crowded new and gets blocked, but the deflection lands on the path of Lambe who buries it.
ROBINS 1, LES FROMAGES 0

15' - RED - Wha?  Eckserley gets sent off for what, we have no idea.  Early theories included the Illuminati, the Saudis, both George Bushes, the North Koreans (and Kim Jong-Il is still alive), al-qaeda and the Girl Guides of Canada.  After reviewing the tape (yes, we have the technology), it was declared a stomp on Ubiparipovic, which I don't think was remotely intentional.  Stupid ref.

19' - Avila has a go from in close to be parried away by Ricketts

38' - GOAL - Cann takes a swing from 12 yds out and the deflection ends up in front of Johnson who buries it.
ROBINS 2, LES FROMAGES 0

40' - YELLOW - Cann for a non-foul. Stupid ref.

Quote of the Match

Corradi is a Gaddafi

~ Tony calling it like he sees it

43' - Plata's trademark "too many touches" gets him closed down but this time beats a defender or two and scoots the ball to Johnson who just fires it wide.

Half-Time mood : I'm going to go with relief.

56' - SUB - Avila comes off for Dunfield

67' - SUB - Plata makes way for Hall

73' - SUB - Lambe gets a nice round of applause and makes way for the returning Soolsma.

4 minutes of extra time (for WHAT?!?!)

90+3' - Soolsma gets a break down the wing and though he could've taken it, lays an oh-so-pretty ball across for Johnson who goes low but is stopped by the diving Ricketts.  Heady stuff here.

Full Time : Toronto 2, Montreal 0

Man of the Match :  Frings.  The guy was everywhere tonight.

Goat of the Game : none, surprisingly.

Ref Rating : When he wasn't handing out bookings for made up stupid shit, he wasn't bad. We'll give the crew 2 out of 5.

Did we mention that Frings was everywhere? Well, he was... This is the second time this season that Toronto loses someone to a straight red and play BETTER than they were.  I'm thinking we need to play more 4-3-2... Both of Toronto's goals, though well earned and reflective of their dominance, were off of defensive deflections.  Not complaining in the slightest... I know TFC have to market their away kits to the home support and all, but we should never have to wear them.  Unless they're some awesome navy/silver striped kit.  We are available for kit design consultation... Lambe's acquisition is turning into the diamond in the rough kinda thing that we always hope for.  He's aggressive and doesn't quit... Felt bad for Ecks as he was running the right side of the pitch very well, turning guys inside out and got an early shower for an ill-timed block... I'm still in shock every time I see Soolsma do something good.  The 2011 version angered me so much that it's going to take a while for the 2012 version to erase him from the memory banks.  Perhaps a hat trick will do it... The mighty Robins played with heart and no quit, polar opposite of the side on Saturday.  More team talks for everyone!

Anyone interested in The Yorkies Set 2011 of cards, please inquire within as there are a handful of sets remaining.

Player Ratings : Kocic 6.5, Eckersley N/A, Cann 6, Henry 6, Morgan 6.5, deGoo 6, Frings 7, Avila 6.5 [Dunfield 6], Lambe 6.5 [Soolsma 6], Johnson 6.5, Plata 6 [Hall N/A]


(I'm not the most compelling tweeter but if you're bored, follow me @ignirtoq.  Not as brilliant as @theyorkies1812, but I do what I can.)

LETTERS FROM CAMP: Nuts to The AmCan

Can-Am Connection - not Nut-Can Connection



PYRAMID TOURNAMENT
A day after getting all kinds of pun-related gifts, one of our faves was pulled out from under us like a rug covered in health supplements. The Nutrilife Canadian Championship, or as we so lovingly called it - "The NutCan" - is no more. Instead, the Canadian arm of Amway Global will be the branded sponsor of The Voyageurs Cup tournament. "AmCan Cup" just isn't worth doing and we're not looking to get any lawsuits from either Tom Zenk or Rick Martel, so Voyageurs Cup (or V-Cup in a pinch) will do. In addition to the re-branding, it was also announced that TFC will face rivals Montreal Impact in the Semi-Final with the 1st Leg in Montreal on May 2nd with the return in Toronto on May 9th.
　
SCRATCHING A 'VIC?
During the TFC Media Day, Bob de Klerk let it be known that nine TFC Academy products were taking part in training camp. He went on to say that there were possibly two standouts that could be ready for the jump to the senior club. According to the Canadian Soccer News, a likely candidate to be the next graduate could be striker Stefan Vukovic. The young poacher who led the CSL in scoring last year with 18 goals may have maximized his learning potential at the Academy level and, if rumours are to be believed, was garnering interest from some Serbian club eyes. If Vukovic can hold his own during training camp, he could find himself being mentored by top class poacher Danny Koevermans in 2012.
　
SINGLES NIGHT
TFC PR has done a bang-up job in trumpeting their successful ticket sales campaign for the CCL showdown at SkyDome. In between bouts of self-congratulation, TFC media announced that only single seats were now available for the big night on March 7th. There are still questions about how many red-clad bums will actually be in blue seats due to corporate promo tickets and scalper's grubby paws, but if you're still looking to buy (legitimately at least) it looks like you're sitting by yourself. On the upside - it will give you the chance to debut your new Geovanny Caicedo chants to total strangers.