BREAKING NEWS: De Guzman joins "Scarborough FC"

TFC (aka Scarborough FC) finally landed the international star that the team's fervent supporters have felt they deserved for a long time. The biggest surprise is that instead of splashing the cash on an aging European striker with two bad knees and former glories, the club went out and got a really good footballer. Instantly one of MLS's best midfielders, Julian De Guzman enters the league at the peak of his career at the age of 28. The local lad, better known in Spain than Scarborough has become the club's first Designated Player and pending league approval, could be on the pitch with his new team mates as early as tomorrow.

The new # 6 will bridge the gap between the defence and the offence so that opponents will no longer be able to shut down TFC's midfield by simply double-teaming Dwayne De Rosario. De Guzman's pedigree as a La Liga standout with Deportivo La Coruna can only help the young midfielders who will play around him while his stature on the national team can only improve the club's image in Canada. The signing is an inspired one as the casual "soccer" fan would have rather seen an international "big name" star as DP but with De Guzman, TFC has potential leadership and quality in the centre of the pitch for years to come.

We will not praise MLSE for paying the "big bucks" as De Guzman's contract, despite its MLS heavyweight status, is more in line with a Leafs' third-liner or Raptors' end of bench centre. However, as hard as it is to do on this site, credit has to be given to Mo Johnston and his team for landing true quality and not spending the money on the Robbie Fowler's of the world. Julian De Guzman will make a better TFC, but still far from a perfect one. Huge holes in the back, on the wings and especially up front need to be filled and his signing may actually make some issues arise that will need to be addressed in the near future. For today however, TFC supporters can dream once again and what better way than by seeing what the richest domestic footballer in Canadian history had to say… "I'm very excited. I have always imagined this moment happening and here it is," "It is a celebration for myself and my family and I think good things are going to happen for me being back home and being able to play with Toronto FC. It's a dream come true to be able to play for my hometown team."

THE STARTING 11: Surprising duties and perks of Danny Dichio's new role

11. Has to give Ali Gerba hairstyle tips

10. Not allowed to Wikipedia "Kevin Keegan"

9. Has to be Prom DJ at MLSE exec's kids' high schools

8. Must let Mo Johnston sit on his shoulders during all future press conferences.

7. Can challenge Pinball Clemons to a wrestle

6. Gets to live in CNE's Food Building

5. Forced to get things off of the top shelf for Chad Barrett

4. Welcomed to throw ceremonial "first punch" in South Stand before each match

3. Official supporters groups must go to his house every night and quietly sing "The Dichio Song" until he falls asleep

2. Dichio's Etobicoke basement: wall-to-wall Field Turf

1. All the Chip Buttys he can eat

The Final 24: Danny Dichio's playing career comes to a sudden end

From the first time Danny Dichio stepped on the field for Toronto FC you could see the difference. There was a fire in the belly of a man who was enjoying his football curtain call. Dichio didn't come to TFC for one last paycheque, he came here to prove to himself and to the football world that he was still the physical force that made him a fan favourite with such big clubs as QPR, Sunderland and West Brom. His short-term impact was immediate, steel in the line-up and of course the club's first goal that caused a cascade of seat cushions nearly three years ago. His long-term affect can be heard, like it or loathe it, sung out loud at the 24th minute mark of every home match TFC plays at BMO Field. Dichio reached a level of affection and recognition in this city where such love is usually reserved for the most rare of professional athletes - fewer still, those who don't wear skates to work.

The hulking striker was destined to be a hero in Toronto. An immigrant, English with a mix of Italian, like the multicultural mixed blend of so many here. The size, power and true blue collar work ethic Toronto fans love in any sportsman. The fact that he loved the city right back and brought his family here to live, and become Canadians, sealed the deal. The truth on the pitch is that Dichio was a fair striker on a bad team. His size and target man skill was never utilized enough due to the rotating door of poor striking partners he was offered. Like with so many big men in football, the knees and the back began to fail. The grueling wear put on his aching joints was multiplied largely by the state of BMO Field's truly embarrassing pitch and this year it was obvious that time had caught up to him. Surely the proud but shy man would have liked to see the year out as a player but in true "team-first" style, he hung up his boots early so that his club could apparently move forward.

Dichio has accepted an immediate role as a TFC roving coach where his emphasis will be placed on Academy duties while he learns the coaching trade and also as a team ambassador, something he already was whether he knew it or not. His selfless act of early retirement may well pave the way for Julian De Guzman's signature which may be the most valuable assist Dichio could add this season, again the sign of a team-player. At times, the London native seems almost uncomfortable with his level of adoration from TFC supporters and in fact it does go over the top at times. Dichio never asked and never expected to be this team's messiah but that is just how fan favourites are made. Star players, blessed with an overabundance of skill are expected to do great things - they also have a tendency to come and go. When a guy comes along who has to work hard to make the most of his chance, the supporter can see themselves in him. Add to that mixture a fiery pride in the name on the front of the shirt and a devotion to the city and indeed you have the makings of a team legend.

Supporters and teammates alike will miss Danny Dichio on the field but one gets the feeling that the past three seasons were Chapter 1 of his Toronto story. His quest to become a fully-trained coach is admirable and hopefully the temptation to thrust him up the ladder like a Canadian Kevin Keegan will be avoided by TFC brass. No one will be surprised if Dichio becomes manager of this club one day, it seems like a foregone conclusion, but supporters won't want to see him parachuted in during a desperate stretch much like Chris Cummins has been and be doomed to failure. The one slice of poetic justice that may come out of this is the snowball effect on Mo Johnston. Mo needed a favour from Dichio and offered him the coaching role to soothe sore feelings in the player and in the fans. However, in a not-to-distant future, a time may come when Mo's job is finally on the line and suddenly MLSE realizes they have a man who knows football and that the fans adore. Mr. Johnston you may have just created a monster. Keeganstein if you wish. Happy retirement Danny, we will be seeing you around for a long time.

BREAKING NEWS: Bald Of Confusion: DD, De GU & DP's

Does Mo Johnston take vacations to active volcanoes? The surly Scotsman sure does love watching a good blow-up doesn't he? News in TFC-world this afternoon is that a press conference has been called for tomorrow where any number of things may be possibly announced. The two most valid rumours swirling around involve striker/ bald messiah Danny Dichio and the other our favourite defensive midfielder/ afro enthusiast Julian De Guzman.

The Dichio rumour is that the team's original cult hero will announce his "voluntary" retirement from the game and subsequently begin his new role as a coach for the club. There has been an uncomfortable air around Dichio and his playing time for weeks now and this isn't necessarily surprising. It does seem that the forward has been gently nudged into an early announcement considering he was already planning to retire a month and a half from now. The timing of the announcement lends credence to the second half of this rumour and its necessary cap room involvement. The coaching job offer was a necessity for Mo Johnston in order to prevent mass riots at BMO Field if Dichio would have been released outright. Dichio could be a positive influence in TFC's coaching staff as long as he's not being groomed to be Toronto's version of Kevin Keegan.

The move to eliminate Dichio's salary is apparently to make room on this year's wage bill for the introduction of none other than Julian De Guzman. Reports have placed the Scarborough native and La Liga standout in Toronto and claim that a three year plus Designated Player contract has been signed and awaits MLS approval. If it goes through, De Gu will be suiting up for the remainder of this season and the three following ones. Reports are conflicting whether or not any concrete announcement about De Guzman will be part of Wednesday's conference. Whether the 28 year old realizes the club plays on spray-painted concrete is unknown.

The announcements have come out of the blue and in true TFC fashion, have occurred during some awful play on the pitch. What another DM, even one as talented as De Gu, does for a team who can't score is a question for another day. One thing that is safe to predict is that Dichio will not be the last of TFC's original core of veterans who are shown the door between now and next season.

Workers of the TFC unite!

With it being Labour Day (yes, our American friends, we spell it with a "u"), The Yorkies want to celebrate the true workers who have so far worn the Red for Toronto FC. Channelling the proletariat spirit of Karl Marx we offer you a starting line-up of the most blue collar, hard working and enthusiastic lads to run out on our Eastern Bloc era artificial turf. They may not be the most talented group in TFC's short history but this starting 11 would have definitely put in a harder effort this past Saturday night in Colorado. This is a line-up that could have started for SC Karl-Marx-Stadt (yes, they existed).

Manager: John Carver

G: Greg Sutton
D: Marvell Wynne
D: Tyrone Marshall
D: Andrew Boyens
D: Adrian Serioux
M: Jim Brennan
M: Chris Pozniak
M: Carl Robinson
M: Dwayne De Rosario
F: Andrea Lombardo
F: Danny Dichio

Talented, maybe not. Bust their humps for TFC? Yes. They would definitely beat the crap out of the Mo Johnston managed TFC Bourgeoisie squad featuring the likes of Laurent Robert, Rohan Ricketts and Jeff Cunningham.

Happy Labour Day Canada! Happy Labor Day USA! Happy Monday everyone else around the world! Happy Mondays Shaun Ryder and Bez.

TFC season in Rapid decline... again

They have been told that there are only a few games left right? I mean, TFC didn't think this was another run out against a Saskatchewan amateur club did they? Another away match, same away form for The Reds as they never looked like they were interested in giving Colorado a match which they lost 1-0. There are really no positives to take away from this lifeless performance which sees Toronto slide that much deeper into the playoff abyss.

Once again, manager Chris Cummins (or a line-up faxed from Mo...whatever) could not create a formation that could create a goal. A good chance would have been nice. Chad Barrett played the whole game - that was special.

The reliance on the TFC cheap movement, sorry, youth movement, finally cracked as Emmanuel Gomez gave away a penalty (which Conor Casey missed) and Amadou Sanyang was red-carded with sloppy tackles. Adrian Serioux showed some solidarity with the young African by getting his own red card and dropping TFC to 9 men. By that point Conor Casey had already put Rapids ahead with a strong header which was met with zero resistance from TFC's "defence" and the rest of the team were wondering if Marley & Me would be playing on the flight home.

We may scoff at Colorado's mishandling of promotions and atmosphere but they have every right to scoff at our line-up tonight. Poor. The frightening aftermath of this result is the post-match interviews - especially Dwayne De Rosario's. You can practically see the regret of coming to TFC rising of the man. In his entire MLS career he hasn't had to deal with such a poorly managed squad. "You can't leave it to one or two guys..." was De Ro's explanation of a team who thinks scoring goals is kind of important sometimes. Danny Dichio's negative body language was telling as well but Mo Puppet (aka Chris Cummins) was still touting the keep your heads up and work hard philosophy which has seen TFC slump into mediocrity.

THE WORD: Deja Gu all over again

He's baaaaack! Apparently. The buzz around Toronto's television media is that Julian De Guzman is once again in the Toronto FC picture. According to some sources a contract has been agreed to but the sticking point is how TFC makes room in the algebra-like MLS salary cap. Scarborough's own would demand DP money and The Reds would have some hard choices to make.

The timing of the news gives it more credibility but would also make Mo Johnston's job harder - something he doesn't seem to take a liking to. The pro and the con is that the European transfer window has closed. The pro side is De Guzman didn't receive an offer of his liking in UEFA-World, the con side is that it would be impossible to off-load an asset to Europe (i.e. Carl Robinson). If this has any truth, and we are still weary here, Mo would have to find an MLS deal to free up some big money fast or give some veterans their outright release.

De Guzman would no doubt be a great acquisition but it would be a signing with repercussions. It may mean the unceremonious dumping of the likes of Carl Robinson, Amado Guevara and/or Danny Dichio. There are also questions around the move such as - does a team who can't score need a DP defensive midfielder and what effect would it have anyways with six games left? But we are getting way, way ahead of ourselves. Reds' supporters have been down De Guzman Street already and left empty-handed and it could happen again. Unless of course a wee Scotsman realizes he needs a major signing (or rumour of) to piggy-back his own contract extension. Funny how these stories seem to pop up when the play on the pitch collpases... again. Just saying.

WORD FACTOR: 5 / 10

Match Preview: Denver - The Last MLS Dinosaur

COLORADO RAPIDS VS. TORONTO FC
Dick's Sporting Goods Park - Saturday 10PM EST
TV - Rogers Sportsnet -- Radio: The Fan 590

It's one of those glorious little quirks of Major League Soccer that helps hold it back in the eyes of Eurosnobs and naysayers here and abroad. A back-to-back fixture against the same club. Nowhere else in the world of football does this occur in regular season. An absurdity that has to be fixed. Also needing a fix - Colorado Rapids. Is there a more tepid, poorly managed team (off the field) in MLS as the Maroons? While it's true they have rarely been world-beaters on the pitch, their image, as controlled by owner Stan Kroenke and his staff is poor. Soccer-mom baiting madness rules in Colorado with thundersticks, "Bring your dog to the match" type promotions and other useless corporate mush straight out of "The Big Book of American Soccer Leagues".

It was thought that building a truly beautiful stadium would change things but The Dick has the same atmosphere as Stan Kroenke's other club - Arsenal. Like a mini-Emirates Stadium, The Dick, on most match days, shares Arsenal's atmosphere that rates slightly higher than a library that is about to close. In a league where many original clubs have taken the baby steps towards acting like world football teams and not roller hockey franchises, Rapids have given no favours to real football supporters in the Denver area and their attendance and atmosphere are the proof. At least this week, TFC supporters can concentrate on the play on the pitch and not about a pissing match about who has the best fans.

COLORADO RAPIDS - 9-6-7 - 33pts 4th in WEST (6th OVERALL)
Rapids have been hovering around mid-table for most of the season and have been quite an enigma lately. Recently they suffered a humiliating 3-2 loss at Chicago after holding a 2-0 lead for much of the match. However, in their next match they answered the previous form with a solid 1-0 win over title favourites Houston Dynamo. Injuries and absences will make this match a challenge for Rapids with leading scorer, and brief Red, Conor Casey on national team duty while midfield talisman Pablo Mastroeni is out on suspension. Playmaking duties will fall to talented Moroccan Mhedi "Don't Call Me John" Ballouchy who will try to aim his pinpoint crosses at Jamaican forward Omar Cummings. Hopefully no Golden Retrievers will get involved in the play.

TORONTO FC - 8-7-8 - 31pts 5th in EAST (11th OVERALL)
The story continues for "The Road Worriers" and their western travels. Failing to get a result against an undermanned Rapids will be a huge blow to the club. With the large amount of clubs within 3 points of TFC in the standings, any combination of Toronto losses and close rival wins can severely damage the playoff hopes. The worry is once again up front where scoring has been a rumour for TFC. Which combo Chris Cummins will go with is anyone's guess these days although if Chad Barrett gets another start after last week at Seattle, many will be scratching their heads. To The Chad's defence though, Gerba, Vitti, Dichio (remember him?) and whoever else is added to the mixture up front has been equally useless or used incorrectly. The one plus out of the Seattle match was the ability shown by rookie Gambian midfielder Amadou Sanyang. Sanyang and his countryman Emmanuel Gomez have shown a great deal of composure and poise despite their age and sudden arrival from Africa. With an ankle injury to Carl Robinson and Amado Guevara away on international duty, Sanyang may very well get the call. Does The Gambia happen to have any strikers waiting around?

TFC Media League - Round 5

TFC's playoff push, or ambush depending on your view, continues to roll on and the local media is keeping tabs. And, as usual it's The Yorkies keeping tabs on those keeping tabs. You know what drink I miss? Tab. Either way, it's Round 5 of the TFC Media League and there's been a change at the top as The Toronto Star aka Blue Star Toronto jump over rival The Sun. AM640 made a mid-table jump while TSN is speeding towards relegation. You can check the complete table by scrolling down the right side of this page.

THE STARTING 11: Unusual MLS Ailments

Swine Flu. West Nile Virus. Monkey Pox. Athletes' Foot. As we have seen this summer by the quarantining of Galaxy star Landon Donovan, even elite footballers aren't immune to the new world of pandemics. However, few people realize that Major League Soccer has it's own specific list of horrifying viruses, diseases and ailments. Cover your mouth before you contract...

11. Dallas Burn

10. The Schelottos

9. Lung Berg

8. Expanded Saputos

7. Bad case of the Rapids

6. Massively Swollen Supporter Heads (Localized to BMO Field and Qwest Field)

5. New York Red Balls

4. Migraine / Hejduk

3. Tightness in Wallet (TFC ownership specific)

2. Beckham Fever (Nearly cured)

1. Columbus Croup