THE STARTING 11: Interchangeable BMO Field / Toronto City Hall press quotes

"Everthing's fine."

It's not quite art imitating life. More like a "Dogs Playing Poker" painting imitating one of those 3D sailboat pictures off of 1990's mall kiosks. Life for those in Toronto who are A) Toronto FC supporters and B) not card-carrying members of "Ford Nation" - tends to be one long cringe-filled existence these days. You can't read the news without the latest on the "mayor’s" Chris Farleyesque crack antics (Alleged. Also pfft.) before turning to the sports section only to be confronted with TFC's latest result going up in smoke (Verified. Also pfft.). The only things more irritating are the hasty press conferences that answer nothing after the fact. What is surprising however are how many stock-quotes can be spouted at both miserable venues without changing a word...
　
11. "We inherited a mess..."
　
10. "We're turning the corner..."
　
9. "We need to stop being wasteful..."
　
8. "David Miller is always watching us with sad eyes."
　
7. "Going to bring in some movers and shakers..."
　
6. "Who ate all the pies?"
　
5. "We don't talk about personnel issues."
　
4. "No I am not resigning!"
　
3. "I don't smoke crack" / "I don't score goals" (TIE)
　
2. "Has been fired as football coach..."
　
1. "Anything else?"

"Everything's fine."

A tip of the hat to friends of The Yorkies Will Graham ( @BigWullieStyle ) and Kristin Knowles ( @kzknowles ) for goofing around with us on this one.

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC mayoral campaign slogans

One of these guys actually pays to watch TFC

Much like ML$E execs, scores of politicians around the Toronto area have been apologizing profusely about the past four years of ineptitude while promising that things will be different next year if you just stick with them. Toronto is saying goodbye to its Footy Mayor and will elect either Angry Hockey Mayor or Angrier Gridiron Mayor today - although neither has offered a 2011 tax freeze or free TTC on opening day. I guess we should be thankful that the one area of Toronto where ML$E hasn't flexed its muscle is civic politics. Although, if Toronto FC did push its staff to run for office, the campaign slogans would be interesting...
　
11: Adrian Cann: "YES WE CANN"
　
10. Nick Garcia: "WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AVAILABLE"
　
9. Mo Johnston: "A 5 YEAR PLAN – AND NEEDS A JOB"
　
8. Dan Gargan: "SLOPPILY TACKLING CRIME FROM BEHIND"
　
7. Nick Dasovic: "FOR INTERIM MAYOR"
　
6. O'Brian White: "MOVING TORONTO FORWARD... VERY SLOWLY"
　
5. Nick LaBrocca: "TRUST ME - I LOOK LIKE AN ACCOUNTANT"
　
4. Maxim Usanov: "I MUST BREAK TAXES"
　
3. Dwayne De Rosario: "SIGNING CHEQUES... FOR YOU!"
　
2. Danny Dichio: "DICHIO! DICHIO! HE'S GOT NO HAIR, VOTE HIM FOR MAYOR, HE'S DANNY DICHIO"
　
1. Raivis Hscanovics: "MKE BTTR TRNTO!"

Did Anselmi join the "MO(VE) OUT" campaign?

----------------------------Making Mo squirm?

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum. Well, the Air Canada Centre lobby more than a forum, but hey. During the worst–secret-ever announcement this week that Toronto will host the first frozen MLS Cup, things took a rather odd turn. Don Garber made lovely statements about Toronto, Canada, TFC, Mounties, Tim Horton's, Eskimos - you name it, but then gave the floor to Mayor David Miller. That's when it got a little interesting.
　
Mayor Miller, The TFC season ticket holder and all-time Mayor of Footy, started by enthusing about the city's hosting ability but then started to go off on a not-too-subtle rant about TFC's inability to win games and/ or score goals. You had to love it, rarely do we see honest opinion from a politician in public but Miller obviously loves the club as a fan and took the chance to say what many of us feel. Miller then handed the mic to Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment VP Tom Anselmi - most in attendance thought the criticism would stop... it didn't.
　
While nowhere near Miller's blunt assessment, Anselmi definitely threw in some sharp barbs about TFC's lack of on-field success and directly aimed a shot across the bow of misDirector of Football Mo Johnston. Mentioning to the crowd that Johnston would be "squirming" over those comments was very pointed. However, was this rare display of internal displeasure genuine or was it another example of MLSE doublespeak?
　
MLSE has a very keen ear to the fans' views despite rarely doing much to address them. They are masters of feel-good media sound bites and may very well be "playing" the role of angry parent against “mean, spiteful” Mo. It's easy to drop the role of frustrated comrade to fans while wrapping it in the glow of a good news event like the Cup announcement. Making a common enemy out of a man whose name is mud in Toronto football would be a wily move that even Johnston himself could accept – especially if it kept him employed into 2011.
　
There is however, the slightest possibility that Anselmi had a strange moment of genuine clarity and frustration. Perhaps as TFC's network of football contacts has expanded, so has their list of capable replacements. Has the boardroom suddenly realized that the toothless club is costing them potential revenue through missed playoff and Champions League dates? Perhaps it hasn't taken MLSE the 10 years to reach their Bryan Colangelo/ Brian Burke moment with TFC and they realize that an amateur like Johnston can only take them so far. Mo is the John Ferguson Jr./ Rob Babcock of football management and those two zeros did very little for brand awareness - which is all MLSE is interested in.
　
It's hard not to lean on the side of pessimism with an ownership group whose ultimate prize is profit and not a trophy but just maybe fans were shown a crack in the surly Scot's armour. Before putting Mo on a donkey out of town, MLSE has to realize that "investing in the team" means the players and staff, not just grass, seats, GOL-TV and a new chip butty maker. TFC has one scout, a rag-tag coaching staff and a line-up that is 4 years behind in development – that is poor. Ridding us of the otherwise unemployable Johnston and replacing him with true football quality management, and maybe looking into the recently announced second DP, would show fans that the stinging words weren't just another vapid MLSE media release.

TFC supporters beware end of "Miller Time"

Politics and football have long been uncomfortable but necessary bedfellows. Throughout the last 100 years of history, "the world's game" has been used as a propaganda tool, a way of placating restless populations and a powerful ally to political ambition. In turn, football clubs have often used these intimate connections to further their own ambitions and indeed their fortunes. North America is of course the exception to this phenomenon as football has never had that level of influence north of Mexico. How strange it has been then for one of the continent's biggest cities to have a football-mad mayor who wears his Toronto FC kit around town and proudly uses his season tickets not for show or political image, but because he loves the club. Recent polling suggested that 80% of respondents wanted Toronto Mayor David Miller replaced and many saw his recent announcement that he would not seek re-election in 2010 as a result of this. If the poll numbers are true, it would mean 8 out of 10 fans at BMO Field want to see the back of the mayor. However, TFC supporters should put aside their civic political opinions aside for one moment and realize that maybe you should be careful what you wish for.

Despite any individual political feelings towards David Miller, no football supporter in this city can deny that he has presided over this city's recent football renaissance. He has been a firm supporter of Toronto FC from day one and equally important, he was a strong voice at City Hall when the push for BMO Field's construction was being argued by both sides of council. Miller's decision not to run next year could very well have both short and long term effects on the face of football and furthermore TFC in the future. In the short term, the BMO Field "real grass" debate could have gone from being a quiet issue passed easily through council to one that was a political hot potato, high-jacked by councillors looking to get some media exposure in the run-up to 2010. Some of the right-wing elements of council such as Denzil Minnan-Wong and Rob Ford must have been tempted to seize on an opportunity to "fight" for the turf to stay for "public use" but luckily, the groundswell of support for real grass at BMO scared off any potential self-serving circus acts. In Canada, politicians like to cozy up to the "hockey dad" crowd to gain points. The immigrant and second generation Canadian crowd who follow football rather than "good 'ol Canadian boy" hockey isn't seen as a sexy group with whom you can create a political base with. Football has after all been historically more comfortable with the left side of politics as opposed to conservatives despite a few fascist leaning clubs in the past.

There is one particular outcome of the Miller fallout that may have severe impact on the long term health of TFC. The current favourite to replace the mayor is former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader and former mayoral contender John Tory. However, it isn't necessarily Tory's right leaning political career that is the concern, it is one of his other former posts - Commissioner of the Canadian Football League. Although it may seem far fetched at the moment, is it really impossible to picture “Mayor” John Tory doing everything in his power to aid his old friends the Toronto Argonauts and their potential move into the city-owned "soccer" stadium? Before you think that MLSE would balk at the move, consider their greed if Mayor Tory offered some city cash to fund an expansion to the stadium. MLSE would love a free expansion to fill BMO with what they see as the everlasting well of "sucker" TFC supporters. Sadly, as Toronto footy fans know, a couple of games with CFL markings on the pitch means good-bye marketable "atmosphere" and good-bye big crowds for real football. Far fetched for now, but it always depends on what politician is trying to score what points with whom. One thing that is likely though - we have seen our last mayor for a long time who is chanting in the stands at BMO wearing his or her kit for the love of the game and not for a photo op. Whether you have liked him or not, David Miller will always be the first mayor of Toronto FC.