THE STARTING 11: Interchangeable BMO Field / Toronto City Hall press quotes

"Everthing's fine."

It's not quite art imitating life. More like a "Dogs Playing Poker" painting imitating one of those 3D sailboat pictures off of 1990's mall kiosks. Life for those in Toronto who are A) Toronto FC supporters and B) not card-carrying members of "Ford Nation" - tends to be one long cringe-filled existence these days. You can't read the news without the latest on the "mayor’s" Chris Farleyesque crack antics (Alleged. Also pfft.) before turning to the sports section only to be confronted with TFC's latest result going up in smoke (Verified. Also pfft.). The only things more irritating are the hasty press conferences that answer nothing after the fact. What is surprising however are how many stock-quotes can be spouted at both miserable venues without changing a word...
　
11. "We inherited a mess..."
　
10. "We're turning the corner..."
　
9. "We need to stop being wasteful..."
　
8. "David Miller is always watching us with sad eyes."
　
7. "Going to bring in some movers and shakers..."
　
6. "Who ate all the pies?"
　
5. "We don't talk about personnel issues."
　
4. "No I am not resigning!"
　
3. "I don't smoke crack" / "I don't score goals" (TIE)
　
2. "Has been fired as football coach..."
　
1. "Anything else?"

"Everything's fine."

A tip of the hat to friends of The Yorkies Will Graham ( @BigWullieStyle ) and Kristin Knowles ( @kzknowles ) for goofing around with us on this one.

THE STARTING 11: Events if Toronto FC hosted The Olympics

Why release doves when you have seat cushions?



The 2012 Olympics ended as London waved goodbye to the XXX Olympiad. (How they could have a XXX Olympiad without Joe Cannon is a disgrace) In 2016, British stereotypes will be replaced with Brazilian stereotypes as Rio hosts the next games - bowler hats replaced with thongs; chalky white skin will make way for bronzed tans; Beckham out - 103 year-old Pele in; and whatever the samba equivalent of Pet Shop Boys is. What won't change much are the actual athletic events. There will be the same running, swimming and dressage-ing (?) as usual. Since Toronto will never likely host the games (we will lose to Wichita, Kansas in 2028) we wondered what the events would be if TFC hosted the games at BMO Field instead... aside from the inflated attendance numbers of course...
　
11. Synchronized Dunfields
　
10. 200m ButtyFly
　
9. Don Garber DP Transfer Hurdles
　
8. Men's Parallel Club Escobars
　
7. Winter Events (Cancelled)
　
6. Rhythmic Koevermans
　
5. Modern Fringstathlon
　
4. Preko-MoMan Wrestling
　
3. 10m CONCACAF Diving
　
2. TyKwonHarden
　
1. 5 Year Plan Marathon

Rogers and Bell bundle their package

"Your call is important to us... please hold."



At the end of day there was no Arab Sultanate, no oil-rich Russian oligarch or even any American financiers. No, like a giant, wireless Voltron-like creature - Canada's two largest media giants, and bitter rivals, Rogers and Bell joined forces today to purchase 75% of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. The deal which will see the much-maligned Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan receive $1.2 Billion dollars suddenly creates one of North America's largest sports and media conglomerates along the lines of the Time-Warner Network and the YES Network - the New York Yankees based sports broadcast giant.
　
MLSE will still exist in name with Larry Tanenbaum managing to up his hold on the company to 25% while also holding on to his title of club governor to the NHL, NBA and MLS. Rogers and Bell will both own 37.5% of the company respectively while also agreeing behind the scenes on future broadcast sharing plans. While Rogers claims that their existing ownership of the Toronto Blue Jays is not officially part of this deal - in theory, an entity with many tentacles now controls four local sports clubs, three sporting facilities, valuable downtown real estate and a near monopoly over regional sports broadcast rights. It is a monumental deal no matter how you feel about its future prospects.
　
There will be advantages to the new structure once the OTPP officially hands over power next summer. MLSE will stay in Canadian hands, something which will please the patriots in the crowd; there will be revolutionary advances in wireless media options available to fans of the Leafs, Raptors and TFC; the continuing presence of Larry Tanenbaum will keep a fulcrum of power between the two faceless media giants; and, perhaps a silver lining for the sports fans, is the feeling that for the broadcasters to make the most profit out of this deal, their teams will need to be competitive and for the most part - winners.
　
On the other side of the coin of course there are fears. Did one giant anonymous profit-driven group step aside to be replaced by two anonymous profit driven groups? Will bitter rivals Bell and Rogers, as well as the mercurial Tanenbaum, eventually butt heads creating and air of chaos at MLSE? Is the groundwork being laid for a premium cost regional cable network which will house the broadcast rights for all of MLSE's clubs at a heavy cost to fans' wallets? Truly, only time will tell.
　
Being that our only real concern in this deal is the effect on Toronto FC, feelings are mixed. There will be the natural fear to think that TFC will now drop from its place as 3rd most important club down to 4th (with the Jays joining the family) and this may indeed be the case. However, the real aspect to watch will be if the groundwork being laid by TFC as a club, such as the Academy program etc., will be honoured going forward. You would have to hope that much of the structure of TFC as it exists now will be preserved but listening to Rogers' President Nasir Mohammed continually failing to mention TFC at today's press conference, as well as Tanenbaum forgetting the name of the MLS Cup, was worrying. The Leafs and Raptors were trumpeted as the jewels of the deal - let's hope TFC aren't relegated down to a multicultural marketing tool for cell phones and little else.
　
At the end of the day, things may not end up looking that different. Will the ownership still be a faceless unaccountable boardroom? Yes. Will we pay increasingly higher prices to attend matches as well as watch them at home? Yes. Will this deal really help bring trophies to the city's beleaguered sports fans? Rogers and Bell Customer Service is standing by.... please hold.

THE STARTING 11: Effects of playing Vancouver Whitecaps twice in a week

#soccerbowl79 - So hot right now!

A common joke term used to describe Canada is "America's Hat". However, if you look at the two Canadian clubs in Major League Soccer - it's more like "America's Bib". While the perfectly perfect Vancouver Whitecaps have the excuse of being a first-year MLS club to wash away their sins, the local club just has to rely on its corporate motto "Rebuilding Since 2008". To be blunt, if MLS does ever go Single Table, Canada’s teams would be those felt circles under the legs. Anyhoo, as our west coast cousins set up camp in T.O. (Wednesday for a league fixture and Saturday for the replay of the biblically denied NutCan Final) we wonder what the local effects of having this much Whitecap in our midst will be...

　
11. Local Lululemon outlets report huge spike in sales
　
10. Rogers Cable employees constantly crank-calling Caps' hotel - asking them to switch their Bell jerseys for a Rogers one
　
9. Vancouver goalkeeper / adult film star Joe Cannon spending days trying to frame hilariously saucy shot of him and the CN Tower
　
8. The discovery of eight lost local Nash brothers
　
7. Somehow #soccerbowl79 keeps trending on Twitter
　
6. Canadian National Team players from both clubs try to have Canada Day picnic - easily pushed away from last picnic spot by elderly family from Panama
　
5. TFC gets the chance once-and-for-all to prove they're only the second worst club in MLS!
　
4. Toronto stationary stores stocking up on red cards in preparation for Eric Hassli's arrival
　
3. Somehow the Boston Bruins win the Voyageurs Cup
　
2. Mayor Rob Ford's spot in this weekend's Gay Pride Parade taken by Bobby Lenarduzzi
　

1. Two times the riots!

Rogers offers to bundle their sports package

That's where they keep the Giant Laser

If Rogers Communications gets its way it could be "C'mon you Teds" at BMO Field in the near future. As reported first by the Toronto Star, the cable giant is in talks with the Ontario Teacher's Pension Fund to buy out their share of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment's sporting empire in a deal worth well over $1 Billion Dollars. The apparent proposal would see The Evil Cable Geniuses wrest control of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Raptors, Toronto Marlies and our dear Toronto FC from The Evil Pension Fund and Miscellaneous Geniuses. The question on every Reds supporter's mind was immediately - good or bad?
　
The first impulse was to say "F*%k Yeah, it's not ML$E!" While some would prefer to take the "devil you know" stance, the devilish MLSE has shown that they don't know winning, so really - how much worse could it be under Rogers? Using Rogers' history managing the Blue Jays you can at least recognize a will to make positive moves and spend cash to chase wins as opposed to our current regime. And, while Rogers is indeed just another faceless corporation, they are at least a single entity as opposed to the many stakeholder factions that rule the MLSE Board. It is no secret that Rogers' interest in snapping up MLSE's teams is to further content for their many television and communications networks - one thing they do understand in that domain is that good teams equal better ratings. That could be the most hopeful positive.
　
On the other side of the dial (or home phone, cell phone, wireless network etc.) Toronto FC could end up being the very poor stepchild in a family with the Leafs far at the top of corporate attention. Supporters’ yells for improvements in any area of the club may face a much more distant journey in a corporation larger and with far more tentacles than MLSE. Investment into the "4th Franchise" of the Nu-Rogers Empire could be slow in coming with long-term projects like stadium expansion and the new training facility shelved for the foreseeable future. Also, despite assuming that TFC will have greater coverage on TV with a cable network as owners, they could once again be fourth in the pecking order for airtime. If Rogers does pull of this deal there will be a good year-and-a-half to two year transition period for TFC that could see the on-field product struggle from the changes in the front office.
　
There are far too many pros and cons both known and unknown to weigh up so prematurely. The deal as it stands at the moment seems far from done and there is the very real possibility that MLSE honcho Larry Tanenbaum could still make a legal powerplay to get control of most of the company's shares. The battle will no doubt be drawn out for a while longer but no matter what happens, it will be years not months before we see how The Reds, or Teds, are affected.
　
　
The original story from the Toronto Star

AFTER 90: Canadian Rocky Mountain High - MLS Cup Final 2010 Special Edition

Well it felt that way!

COLORADO RAPIDS 2 - FC DALLAS 1 (ET)
MLS Cup Final
　
After all the bluster in the weeks leading up to tonight's MLS Cup Final about possible fan boycotts and fears of an empty BMO Field, only bedtime ruined the night. A healthy-sized if muted (for BMO Field standards) crowd did end up attending the match but Major League Soccer's ridiculous scheduling on a late Sunday night killed what atmosphere there may have been. When the players so rudely decided to play extra time, a good chunk of the crowd decided not to join them.
　
It's a shame too. The match, which turned out to be very entertaining for the neutral, should have been enjoyed on Saturday or Sunday afternoon without the rush to get home for work or school in the morning nor fighting the freezing night temperatures. For two of the league's least "glamorous" clubs, Colorado and Dallas put up a good fight with both of their star players, Conor Casey and league MVP David Ferreira grabbing goals. A nicely wrapped 90 minute package would have been ideal but neutral supporters can't be expected to put up with conditions that were created by care for media outlets, NFL schedules and advertising revenue before fans. The league must fix this for future success.
　
Sadly, the on-field result came down to an own-goal mistake by FC Dallas' George John. The least they could have done was penalty kicks for the hardcores who stuck it out to the end. How rude of our visitors! In the end, Toronto's turn to host the MLS Cup Final will be a mere apathetic blip in MLS history. We could hold out hope that future league playoffs will turn out better but league commissioner Don Garber laid out plans for a ridiculous sound expanded playoff structure. "Great" said future TFC GM Earl Cochrane - "my job just got easier!"
　
Congrats to Rapids (despite your Arsenal leanings) and come back again to both sets of terrific sets of travelling supporters. Sorry about the frostbite. Hope you like the Butty.
　
MAN OF THE MATCH: Conor Casey (COL)
GOAT OF THE MATCH: George John (FCD)
　
MATCH IN FIVE WORDS: Long. Cold. Early GO Train.
　
SENSATIONAL HEADLINE: "10 TEAM PLAYOFFS IN 2011 - TFC RE-SIGNS GARCIA"
　
TOTALLY FAKE POST-MATCH QUOTE: "H-h-h-ow d-d-d-do you p-p-p-eople live in th-th-th-these c-c-c-conditions?" - Jose, travelling (and chilly) FC Dallas supporter

Wynne: Congrats to a class act

THE MATCHUP: On the outside looking in... MLS Cup Final Toronto 2010 Special Edition

The word "Toronto" near a trophy... so rare!

COLORADO RAPIDS VS. FC DALLAS
　
BMO FIELD - SUNDAY 8:30 PM ET
TV: TSN2 (VARIOUS NORTH AMERICAN NETWORKS)
　
Back in those glorious, successful Mo Johnston-led years, Toronto FC owners, Maple Leaf Sports & "Entertainment", promised to bring a championship to the city within their famous "five-year plan". Well, they did it... and with a year left on the plan! The fact that TFC aren't anywhere near the Cup Final is a minor detail they'd rather us not mention.
　
Yes, The Bay Street Monopoly Tycoons persuaded Major League Soccer to hold their biggest match in Toronto... in late November... with dollar signs flashing in their eyes. At that time, TFC-fever meant that ML$E could put a red shirt on a monkey and charge $200 dollars but a disastrous 2010 season followed by gluttonous ticket price increases meant that MLS Cup interest disappeared in the city. On this realization of course, ML$E "gifted" the tickets on top of 2011 Season Ticket prices thus creating fan anger which has further fuelled local animosity towards the match. Sunday evening's 0 Degree Celsius weather forecast is just the karma cherry on top.
　
ML$E of course prayed to whatever secret sun/goat god they worship for a New York v LA final but alas they were "re-gifted" with the least glamourous final in MLS history. While the match may indeed turn out to be entertaining and will crown a first-time champion, it did nothing to create any "Cup Fever". In Toronto, the apathy is palpable and you get the feeling that ML$E would rather the whole potentially embarrassing event would just go away. Planned "fan events" and celebrations have been muted at best and Monday can't seem to come quick enough. Of course, that means ML$E must once again pretend to prepare for TFC to be in next year's final. But they'd rather we don't mention that either.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Forced To Be Here Cup"
　
BURGUNDY BOREDOM: Conor Casey, Pablo Mastroeni, Marvell Wynne
FC DULL-ASSED: Kevin Hartman, Brek Shea, David Ferriera　

THE ODDS:
- Don Garber wondering aloud "where the league's best fans are?": 5-1
- Players succumbing to frostbite related injuries: 3-1
- ML$E still managing to make a massive profit: EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Sunday's match may be the coldest cup final since Dynamo Iqaluit beat Alert Wednesday in the 1992 Inuit Champions League Final
- BMO Field is preparing for the expected rush of visiting Colorado and Dallas supporters with 9 extra folding chairs on order
- ML$E are training their employees to keep Toronto FC supporters as far from the MLS Cup as possible, in order to keep expectations in check for 2011
　
RAPIDS FANS SAY: 2-1 Colorado
FC DALLAS FANS SAY: Huh? We have a soccer team? 14-10 Texas?
HEADLINE: "MLS CUP IN TORONTO... APPARENTLY"

THE STARTING 11: ML$E promotional slogans for the MLS Cup Final

Hope those are thermal gold jumpsuits ladies

Oh sweet, sweet karma. When ML$E first decided to lobby Major League Soccer to host this year's Cup Final, the golden goose known as Toronto FC was still honking majestically. Anselmi & Co. thought that they could sell any "soccer" game at BMO Field and those wacky immigrant TFC supporters would just snap up tickets. Then 2010 happened. ML$E in all of its wisdom let TFC slide into oblivion and once it was obvious that The Reds wouldn't be anywhere near the playoffs - desire to watch MLS Cup diminished. ML$E's answer was to panic and force feed their "valued" season ticket holders unwanted Cup tickets, but when two of the league's most boring clubs qualified for the final, clubs who struggle to find home supporters, the selling job for remaining seats got that much harder...
　
11. "Told you we'd bring the Cup to Toronto!"
　
10. "Ticket: $75. Windchill: -10C. Frostbite: Priceless."
　
9. "Watch Marvell Win!"
　
8. "Like the Super Bowl - without pesky crowds!"
　
7. "Please... don't embarrass us in front of Don Garber"
　
6. "Come party with all 13 Away Supporters!"
　
5. "Let's show MLS how to put chips on bread!"
　
4. "Be a part of history... the lowest attended final ever"
　
3. "Did you hear what Colorado said about your mother?"
　
2. "Did we mention Jürgen Klinsmann yet?"
　
1. "2 Bores 1 Cup"

Could Cup Final failure be good for MLS?

Away supporters arrive in Toronto for the MLS Cup

When the proverbial Garcia was hitting the fan in TFC-land a month ago, the initial fear from those on high wasn't necessarily the club's long-term health but the sudden fan anger's effect on the upcoming MLS Cup Final match in Toronto. ML$E and Major League Soccer bigwigs both, were sweating audibly at the sudden image of a half-empty BMO Field... in a blizzard... with Dallas and Colorado playing to a scoreless draw... on (sort of) national TV.
　
Code Reds were alerted forcing MLS boss Don Garber to fly into Toronto and crow about how fantastic Toronto supporters are and the mythical "model club" that TFC supposedly is. While Garber was on "Charm Tour 2010", ML$E scrambled to assure their fans that things would change in the future and that the mandatory purchase of MLS Cup tickets was some kind of "wondrous" gift. Toronto supporters are still split on whether they will attend the Final with many holding out for the potentially dull finalists and/or the potentially terrible weather forecast. However, could a sparsely attended Final in a "jewel" MLS city be a positive agent for change?
　
Major League Soccer's playoff system and indeed its final match are both flawed entities that are stuck in the iron grip of North American reality. While the playoff system is likely here to stay, the enforced and false "East vs. West" conference play caused matchups that should not have even existed in a best vs. worst format and have created the geographically absurd "East Final" between San Jose and Colorado. Last time we checked, neither Denver nor San Jose relocated to the Eastern Seaboard. If the playoffs have to stay, a single-table leading to a 1 vs. 8 seeding is the only sane way forward.
　
The problem of the MLS Cup Final itself is that it has far less to do with football as it does "entertainment". MLS is stuck on trying to have its own "Super Bowl" with the requisite concerts and "fan experience zones" which of course necessitates a neutral venue for planning, rather than the match being played in the higher seeded finalist’s park. This robs the match of real atmosphere with North American geography stifling travelling support and the fact that football hasn't reached that "mega-game" place for the continent's neutral sports fans.
　
MLS apologists will argue that all major football finals in Europe and elsewhere are neutral site but that excuse doesn't fly as 95% of world football also doesn't rely on playoffs to crown the league champion. Picking and choosing bits from around FIFA that suits advertisers and "demographics" does not build the game in North America. It's time for MLS to treat its supporters as knowledgeable fans and ditch the NASL-esque antics in favour of a football friendly, yet still North American style.
　
Perhaps seeing a Garber-christened "knowledgeable" Toronto crowd uninterested and absent for a possible Earthquakes v FC Dallas final with no travelling support may help push the death of the neutral site final. It would be a tiny step in boosting an often anti-climactic championship process.

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC mayoral campaign slogans

One of these guys actually pays to watch TFC

Much like ML$E execs, scores of politicians around the Toronto area have been apologizing profusely about the past four years of ineptitude while promising that things will be different next year if you just stick with them. Toronto is saying goodbye to its Footy Mayor and will elect either Angry Hockey Mayor or Angrier Gridiron Mayor today - although neither has offered a 2011 tax freeze or free TTC on opening day. I guess we should be thankful that the one area of Toronto where ML$E hasn't flexed its muscle is civic politics. Although, if Toronto FC did push its staff to run for office, the campaign slogans would be interesting...
　
11: Adrian Cann: "YES WE CANN"
　
10. Nick Garcia: "WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AVAILABLE"
　
9. Mo Johnston: "A 5 YEAR PLAN – AND NEEDS A JOB"
　
8. Dan Gargan: "SLOPPILY TACKLING CRIME FROM BEHIND"
　
7. Nick Dasovic: "FOR INTERIM MAYOR"
　
6. O'Brian White: "MOVING TORONTO FORWARD... VERY SLOWLY"
　
5. Nick LaBrocca: "TRUST ME - I LOOK LIKE AN ACCOUNTANT"
　
4. Maxim Usanov: "I MUST BREAK TAXES"
　
3. Dwayne De Rosario: "SIGNING CHEQUES... FOR YOU!"
　
2. Danny Dichio: "DICHIO! DICHIO! HE'S GOT NO HAIR, VOTE HIM FOR MAYOR, HE'S DANNY DICHIO"
　
1. Raivis Hscanovics: "MKE BTTR TRNTO!"

Double Blue won't move to home of the Reds

The fears of many Toronto FC supporters were eased today as reports then confirmation arrived announcing that the Toronto Argonauts can and will not move to BMO Field in 2010. What started out as loud whispers from the CFL Board of Governors meeting in Las Vegas was later confirmed by the Argos themselves. After studies were completed, BMO Field was proclaimed as not currently equipped to house gridiron properly.

The main stumbling block of the proposed move was that without an estimated 15-20 Million Dollar retro-fit of BMO, a CFL regulation size field could not fit within the current confines. Credit must be given to the CFL for not bending on a feature of their game that indeed makes it different from the NFL. Allowing the Argos to bend such a big aspect of their sport would have been a black-eye for the league and it seems as if that message was loud and clear.

There were other factors that came into play such as the inadequate size of TFC's locker rooms and general gameday facilities that are far too small for a gridiron team. Without the money being available to make these changes to BMO, the league was not interested in coddling two owners whose recent commitment to the Argos has been in question.

The Argos ownership team of Howard Sokolowski and David Cynamon immediately released a statement proclaiming the great virtues of their current home, the Rogers Centre, and its many great features which their fans love. No doubt a quick move of damage control on their part as this whole proposal has been mired in controversy and ill will on both sides of the football from the get go. What the stadium decision does to their status as team owners is anyone’s guess.

It is now up to Cynamon and Sokolowski to negotiate a new deal with Rogers Centre that suits their interests as much as possible. Many TFC fans are no doubt hoping it can be a solid 4 or 5 year lease so that this story doesn't continue to be an annual Boatmen tradition. In the meantime, MLSE will hopefully continue to tailor BMO Field for TFC/ CSA football only and the club and the sport can have security in the fact that BMO Field is indeed "Our House".

Ex Board approves 1249 future empty seats

As expected, the Exhibition Place board approved MLSE's proposal to expand the north end of BMO Field by 1200 or so seats. The plan will now proceed to Toronto City Council in the New Year for a final checkmark which will probably be met with little resistance. A short while ago this would have been joyous news for TFC fans. However, thanks to the Toronto Argonauts, it is just insult to injury.

The CFL team is pursuing a move to BMO Field with an aggression that increases by the day. They are now openly telling their season ticket holders that they can get refunds or relocation if and when it happens - possibly as soon as the 2010 season. The fact that TFC, the Canadian Soccer Association and a grass pitch are the main tenants is merely an afterthought.

The CFL meanwhile is rapidly pushing through a feasibility study regarding Argos-to-BMO. While terms like "tentative" and "far from certain" are thrown about, many TFC fans can feel the CFL's desperation to save the floundering Boatmen. Even if it means making a mockery of the standard CFL surface, you can't help but feel that the league will shoehorn the Argos into BMO in a lame attempt to "save" the team.

TFC supporters can expect no help from the municipal government as they will take whatever option gets them a quick buck. Sadly, this is very short-sighted. The day the Argos and their turf-tearing cleats attached to 300 pound linebackers show up at BMO, the soccer set in Toronto can kiss all of the massive strides the sport has taken here good-bye.

There will be no future World Cup Qualifiers or international friendlies, no more big time Real Madrid-esque matches and worst of all Toronto FC will enter a slide that it may never come out of. Why? Because the CFL will destroy the pitch both physically and visually to the point where real football can no longer co-exist at an elite level.

The international teams and high level club teams will refuse to play on a ripped up, crater-filled pitch and it won't be long before MLS players opt not to play for TFC because of the risk of injury. The fans meanwhile will leave bit by bit. Purist fans will not watch any club play on gridiron lines with giant Wendy's and Rona ads emblazoned across the field. And before you think that they will scrub out the lines - think again. The close schedules of TFC and the Argos but mainly the cost attached will see that this doesn't ever happen.

In the end, the city may well agree to allow the north end to be expanded but it is what is on the field that will inevitably decide the success of the young stadium. We just hope that these decision makers have to face the music in a few years time when TFC are drawing tiny crowds as they play on gridiron and the Argos eventually start talking of moving to a bigger stadium.

Meanwhile, the revenue from a host of FIFA matches will have disappeared to Montreal and Edmonton and as TFC slides into oblivion, right-wing meatheads will cackle "see, soccer just can't work here". We can wish that this is a "far from certain" nightmare scenario but barring major protests or MLSE flexing some serious muscle it suddenly feels very imminent.

BREAKING NEWS: Toronto City Hall legalizes grass

Toronto FC and BMO Field took a giant step forward in their progression towards complete football legitimacy today as Toronto City Council, led by season ticket holder Mayor Miller, approved the installation of delicious, real, green grass in time for the 2010 season. The plan still has to pass provincial and federal watchdogs due to their original contributions to the stadium construction but that is not considered to be a major concern. If all goes well, construction will begin as soon as TFC's season ends and will be ready by late-March 2010. As part of the agreement, MLSE will be retrofitting Lamport Stadium with the winter bubble as well as adding Field Turf at the Lakeshore facility in Etobicoke. Construction on both facilities will also begin soon.

Apart from TFC supporters who will see that luscious grass next spring, the happiest group in town must be the players themselves. The days of unnecessary nagging turf injuries from training and playing on what has become green concrete are nearing their end as are the strange bounces and skidding passes. The excuses will have to be rolled up with the turf as well. Bad play because of turf; bad training because of turf; players refusing to sign because of turf; all of these issues will have to be put away for New England Revolution to use. TFC will be the full real deal now and will have to match their performance to their pitch.

It is not a stretch to say that many in this city, ourselves included, were very skeptical that this would actually happen. Kudos have to be given to MLSE for coming up with a good plan to present to the city which addressed the concerns over community usage and profit loss. MLSE are very good at these kind of business deals but will actually be putting their hands in their pockets to the tune of 5 Million Dollars-plus. Don't pity the Bay Street Bankers too much though - a few more high profile friendlies, like this season's Real Madrid match, will pay for the grass many times over. It is ironic that the Real match which caused such a stir amongst supporters, likely opened the owners' eyes to the potential profit grass could bring and in a roundabout way got us the pitch we yearned for. That match's influence and likely some cash from the club's first big transfer, Maurice Edu to Rangers, made our horticultural dreams come true. Thanks Maurice, maybe you'll be back here soon for an Old Firm friendly to play on the grass you helped buy.

TFC supporters beware end of "Miller Time"

Politics and football have long been uncomfortable but necessary bedfellows. Throughout the last 100 years of history, "the world's game" has been used as a propaganda tool, a way of placating restless populations and a powerful ally to political ambition. In turn, football clubs have often used these intimate connections to further their own ambitions and indeed their fortunes. North America is of course the exception to this phenomenon as football has never had that level of influence north of Mexico. How strange it has been then for one of the continent's biggest cities to have a football-mad mayor who wears his Toronto FC kit around town and proudly uses his season tickets not for show or political image, but because he loves the club. Recent polling suggested that 80% of respondents wanted Toronto Mayor David Miller replaced and many saw his recent announcement that he would not seek re-election in 2010 as a result of this. If the poll numbers are true, it would mean 8 out of 10 fans at BMO Field want to see the back of the mayor. However, TFC supporters should put aside their civic political opinions aside for one moment and realize that maybe you should be careful what you wish for.

Despite any individual political feelings towards David Miller, no football supporter in this city can deny that he has presided over this city's recent football renaissance. He has been a firm supporter of Toronto FC from day one and equally important, he was a strong voice at City Hall when the push for BMO Field's construction was being argued by both sides of council. Miller's decision not to run next year could very well have both short and long term effects on the face of football and furthermore TFC in the future. In the short term, the BMO Field "real grass" debate could have gone from being a quiet issue passed easily through council to one that was a political hot potato, high-jacked by councillors looking to get some media exposure in the run-up to 2010. Some of the right-wing elements of council such as Denzil Minnan-Wong and Rob Ford must have been tempted to seize on an opportunity to "fight" for the turf to stay for "public use" but luckily, the groundswell of support for real grass at BMO scared off any potential self-serving circus acts. In Canada, politicians like to cozy up to the "hockey dad" crowd to gain points. The immigrant and second generation Canadian crowd who follow football rather than "good 'ol Canadian boy" hockey isn't seen as a sexy group with whom you can create a political base with. Football has after all been historically more comfortable with the left side of politics as opposed to conservatives despite a few fascist leaning clubs in the past.

There is one particular outcome of the Miller fallout that may have severe impact on the long term health of TFC. The current favourite to replace the mayor is former Ontario Progressive Conservative leader and former mayoral contender John Tory. However, it isn't necessarily Tory's right leaning political career that is the concern, it is one of his other former posts - Commissioner of the Canadian Football League. Although it may seem far fetched at the moment, is it really impossible to picture “Mayor” John Tory doing everything in his power to aid his old friends the Toronto Argonauts and their potential move into the city-owned "soccer" stadium? Before you think that MLSE would balk at the move, consider their greed if Mayor Tory offered some city cash to fund an expansion to the stadium. MLSE would love a free expansion to fill BMO with what they see as the everlasting well of "sucker" TFC supporters. Sadly, as Toronto footy fans know, a couple of games with CFL markings on the pitch means good-bye marketable "atmosphere" and good-bye big crowds for real football. Far fetched for now, but it always depends on what politician is trying to score what points with whom. One thing that is likely though - we have seen our last mayor for a long time who is chanting in the stands at BMO wearing his or her kit for the love of the game and not for a photo op. Whether you have liked him or not, David Miller will always be the first mayor of Toronto FC.

Turfed out? Will De Ro seek greener pastures?

A report in today's Globe & Mail newspaper hints at Dwayne De Rosario's growing unhappiness at the state of BMO Field's dreadful Field Turf and its effect on his long-term plans. When asked if the green polyester slacks which substitute for grass in Toronto makes him question his future, the all-star midfielder said "Yeah, kind of, in a way, because my career depends on me playing, and if turf is hampering the longevity of my career, then you have to question how long can you actually deal with playing on turf.” Nuff said. De Ro has been very straight-forward in his view on this issue all season despite the silence from his veteran teammates who seem happy to let De Rosario put his reputation on the line with this issue.

MLSE will once again trot out the victim card and claim that the big bad City of Toronto is stopping their benevolent wishes to lay down real grass but this is not a black and white issue. De Ro seemed to tow that party line a bit but illuminated his knowledge of the ownership's finances when he continued to the Globe "I don't think money's an issue. We saw how they put [grass] down for one game against Real Madrid so I don't even want to hear that money's an issue." The de facto team leader can see what some of the club's ownership-idolizing supporters refuse to admit - MLSE is financially capable of doing just about anything they please.

The truth of this matter is that MLSE only needs to go through the motions with the City and that approval is only a formality if, and this is a big if, MLSE is willing to provide a facility for community use that replaces BMO Field. The cost of such a facility is equivalent to a couple of Maple Leafs' blue liners and hardly a blip on MLSE's books, especially with Maurice Edu's mystery transfer fund somewhere in Bay St. limbo. But, here's the rub - is MLSE really willing to invest in their newest cash-cow or are they just fleecing the golden goose? If they stick to the company line and blame the City for not giving them a totally free facility it may be at the expense of their one and only true star on the much maligned pitch. De Ro would have no problem finding a long list of interested clubs - TFC supporters however, would once again be covered in the wrong end of the golden goose's offerings.

"Wanna Buy Some Grass?"

Over the last few days the hypothetical dream of getting real grass at BMO Field has once again been floated. Apparently this hypothetical grass issue will be raised with the City Of Toronto at a hypothetical meeting set for this autumn. If it all goes well at this hypothetical meeting, our new hypothetical grass will hypothetically be laid in time for the 2010 season so that our very hypothetically improved football club can begin play on it as soon as possible.

Since we are obviously working in a framework of maybes, let's look into a hypothetical future, say sometime in the autumn, and have a peek at a completely hypothetical text message exchange between an MLSE big-wig and a high-ranking city official. Hypothetically of course.

Tom$$$: Yo, D! We @ MLSE want to put grass down at BMO! We luv soccer!

MayorDave: LOL!

Tom$$$: Why r u laughing???

MayorDave: Oh, u r serious? Gr8! No prob! Gr8 for T.O. You remember the big $ lease agrmnt. right?

Tom$$$: Which part?

MayorDave: T.O. gets a central all-year practice field...

Tom$$$: OMG that's pricey! We r not made of $!!!

MayorDave: LMFAO!!!

Tom$$$: Why u laugh?

MayorDave: Well u kind of r made of $$$.

Tom$$$: Hey, credit crunch and all that Dave-O.

MayorDave: Sorry T-Money, its in the agrmnt. and its for the peeps of T.O.

Tom$$$: OK, wot if we build 1 in deepest, darkest Etobicoke and maybe you pay for some of it?

MayorDave: Ummmm....

Tom$$$: Oh just forget it Dave!!! We tried our best!!! THE CITY WON"T LET US HAVE GRASS!!! WE R THE VICTIMS!!!

The above exchange is purely fictional and is no way based on any factual events or accounts. Resemblance to actual exchanges and texters is purely fictional. And hypothetical of course.