THE MATCHUP: Le spoil

How's that whole "Shining Light" bit going?

 

TORONTO VS. MONTREAL
　

BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 4PM ET
TV: TSN

DISCLAIMER: In no single way do we like Montreal Impact or have any wishes for their future good fortune. We also do not "cheer for the Canadian team" when TFC is out of the playoffs - this is club football – get a grip nancy.

THE KICKABOUT:
Schadenfruede. No, not the last name of Montreal's manager but the pleasure derived from the misfortune of others. It is a delicious prospect for Toronto FC supporters, so bereft of anything to cheer for with our own club, that perhaps The Reds may instill some last minute damage upon our rivals and in turn we feel slightly better about our own lot in life. With a victory on Saturday (and some other MLS chips falling on Sunday) TFC could effectively dash Montreal's hopes for a post-season appearance. Tres jolie!

If things do go all flat Pepsi-Cola for Montreal, let's all have a good ribbing at our neighbour's expense. If we can't have nice things why should they? However, we should never mock their attempt at winning. They may fail, but they tried. Perhaps the heavy investment on older stars whose best days are past may not work out in the end. But you know what? They gave it a solid kick at the can.

In 7 years, can we honestly look in the TFC mirror and say that our club ever went "all in"? Nope. The closest we ever got to winning ambition was "hoping to qualify for the playoffs". So yes, we hope TFC wins and Impact end up wallowing with us in the pseudo-relegation zone because they are our bitter rivals. But at least they wanted it. There is no shame in failing; there is great shame in never trying.



So long old friend.

MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The 401 Derby"
　

PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Joe Bendik, Bright Dike, Alvaro Rey
MONTREAL: Davy Arnaud, Marco Di Vaio, Alessandro Nesta
　

THE ODDS:
- TFC fans leaving with a sense of optimism: 500-1
- TFC fans leaving with a sense of resignation: 50-1
- TFC fans leaving with a sense of deja vu: EVENS

 

 Cheers for the hard work Ecks.

 

WHO ARE YA?

The final match of the year is a time to reflect back on a rewarding season and also gives the club a chance to give thanks back to fans. In the past, TFC fans have received toques and er... toques. This year however, word is that TFC may be giving out 2013 Memory Boxes featuring mementos from a great season including:

 

- A Julio Cesar match-worn nothing

- Photocopies of John Bostock's British Airways return ticket

- A piece of actual Terry Dunfield sock tassel

- Inukshuks!

- Commemorative Allocation Coins

- Some old red thread that was originally meant to bind us all

- A "Get Used To It" bumper sticker

- No refunds

POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "C'EST LA VIE"

 

Aren't you late for dinner or something?

THE STARTING 11: Other ways TFC can spoil Montreal Impact's weekend

"Keep those hands up you ginger bastard!"

 

"Spoiler". Webster's Dictionary describes it as "Toronto FC after April". It's true - we looked up "dictionary" on Wikipedia. Indeed, it seems as if The Reds only purpose for existing after springtime’s faux-optimism has worn off is to trip up good clubs as they try to reward their fans. How novel! We really do need to add "If we can't have nice things then why should you?" in Latin under the TFC badge. The role of spoiler takes on added emphasis this Saturday as our rivals from up Le 401 visit amidst their hunt for the playoffs and our hunt for a long nap. Whilst we can't trust TFC to spoil L'Impact's on-field fortunes, we can still be petulant in other ways

11. Announce to Canadian media that TFC is holding a protracted referendum to decide if they should win or lose this weekend

10. Refer to BMO Field in all future media as "The stadium that ended Alessandro Nesta's career"

9. Re-work this famous Quebecois song for our own entertainment: CLICKEZ ICI (now if there were just some useful lyrics we could come up with...)

8. Get Ryan Nelsen to sport a sexy Samuel de Champlain hair-do

7. Create a giant tifo of Mitsou wearing nothing but a Bendik shirt

6. Announce that the Argos are moving to Stade Saputo

5. Replace the away supporters' regular Pepsi-Cola and Jos.Louis snack cakes with new Folger's Crystals!

4. Hold a Bocce Ball tournament at halftime to distract Impact's elderly Italian players during the 2nd Half

3. Put famous Montreal mascot Youppi's head in Joey Saputo's hotel room bed

2. Sign two of Europe's most expensive strippers to DP contracts

1. Park the bus in both official languages

 

 

And… since we are saying "Bye-Bye" (at long last) to this season and we need to be reminded why Quebec hates our freedom, here is the worst thing you will hear today. (Yet still inexplicably alluring)



THE STARTING 11: Major League Soccer Playoff promotional slogans

MLS 2021 Playoff brackets are set... Go Oklahoma!



We have never made any bones about it - we don't like playoffs in football... unless you're trying to get promoted to the Premiership (hello West Ham). Playoffs that decide a "champion" after a long, hard season is wrong on many levels but such is life in North America. It's better than nothing, we know. And by nothing we mean no local football... just hockey. So, barring the miracle of UEFA buying Major League Soccer we live with the wacky world of playoffs while waiting for Don Garber to expand the league to 64 teams in 8 regional divisions. With the playoffs still being the jewel of MLS' eye, we thought we'd suck up our bias and help the league with some needed promotional campaigns...
　
11. "Where the cream rises to the middle!"
　
10. "Like the FA Cup - but stupid"
　
9. "Rewarding 8th Place finishes with a shiny trophy!"
　
8. "Toronto-free for 5 Years"
　
7. "Where Colorado vs. Kansas is a thing"
　
6. "You can't spell F*** Off without Playoff"
　
5. "Henry vs. Beckham: 2003 is soooo jealous!"
　
4. "Ignoring the wishes of football fans - knockout style!"
　
3. "Who needs Single Tables when you have musical chairs?"
　
2. "Our commissioner’s name is almost Dong Grabber"
　
1. "Making regular seasons redundant since 1996"

TFC Coles Notes for back-to-school supporters

I wonder if Lesly Fellinga is on the test?

It's back-to-school time again! For many of Toronto FC's youthful supporters that means heading back to campus where Kraft Dinner and Pabst Blue Ribbon become major food groups, pyjamas are acceptable outerwear and regular bathing becomes a memory as distant as the summer breeze.
　
It's not all fun and powdered cheese however - these young scholars have to hit the books in order to secure their degrees and eventually join the working world in a totally unrelated career to their education. There's little time for these future Customer Service Reps. to spend watching their beloved Toronto FC - but not to worry! The fine educators here The Yorkies Institute of Footy Probabilities have put together an easy to read, pocket sized look into the future of the remaining 2010 season.
　
So here you go scholars, we believe that children are the future and all that junk, here in simple Headlines and By-lines is all you need to know about the rest of The Reds' year in handy chronological order. Remember, Pabst is not a toy!
　
SPOILER ALERT!
　
"TFC LOSE AGAIN ON THE ROAD"
"Team Canada to blame" says Preki
　
"LOSS ON ROAD HURTS TFC"
Playoff hopes in danger - "Did I mention Team Canada": Preki
　
"REDS DRUBBED IN MEXICO CITY"
"Schedule, travel, injuries to blame"
　
"DRAW AT HOME KEEPS PLAYOFF HOPES ALIVE"
"We played hard but were unlucky at the end"
　
"ROAD WOES CONTINUE FOR TFC"
"We've got a good team here" insists coach
　
TFC ELIMINATED FROM CHAMPIONS LEAGUE
Preki opts for reserve team - "We gave it our best"
　
"BMO FIELD WIN LIFTS REDS' SPIRITS"
Fans sing ‘Dichio Song’ as playoff gap down to 5 points
　
"MLSE SCORE 99% SEASON TICKET RENEWALS"
"Shows we're on the right track" says Mo Johnston
　
"MASSIVE ROAD LOSS ENDS TFC SEASON"
"Overall it was a good season - we played as a team" Preki
　
"TFC FANS UPSET AT LACK OF PLAYOFFS"
New TFC jersey to be unveiled soon!
　
"MO JOHNSTON'S TRACK RECORD QUESTIONED"
"But I said "5" year plan all along!" - New kit leaked online!
　
"MLS CUP AT SNOWY, HALF-EMPTY BMO FIELD"
"We're aiming to be here in 2011": Johnston
　
"NANA ATTAKORA SIGNS FOR SWEDISH CLUB"
"We've got our eye on a few new players" says Mo
　
"WHITECAPS BUILD CONTENDER FOR FIRST YEAR"
TFC's new uniform nearly ready for sale!
　
"TRANSFER WINDOW CLOSES - NO NEW REDS"
"We'll look at the Draft and some promising trialists": Johnston
　
"NEW TFC KIT ON SALE TODAY!"
Fans flock to buy new shirt - Mo Johnston signs new 5 year contract

MLS needs playoff elimination

A few weeks after the MLS Cup Final and outside of maybe Utah, the new Champs - Real Salt Lake, are but a distant memory. The sadder part of the 2009 MLS Playoff residue however is that the two teams who really should have been battling for the title, Columbus and Houston, are a mere footnote in the league's yearbook. It is the biggest downfall of the current MLS Playoff system that the best teams in this league often become discarded soon after the regular season ends.

It is time that MLS stops trying to pander to the "new fan" in North America and starts catering to the established fan who is used to the system used in most parts of the football world. Yes, there are a few leagues around the globe that use some form of playoffs but the top leagues, which most MLS supporters watch in the off-season, reward the best team in the regular season as their champion. There are arguments that North American sport needs playoffs but that is a lazy insult to the intelligence of American and Canadian fans.

It is possible in a few easy changes to create a system in MLS that not only rewards the best club as its champion but also keeps a form of "playoff" style knockout to please the TV advertisers and Soccer Mom panderers. The league has failed when it has tried to "North Americanize" the game but succeeded when it has embraced football's world culture. With that in mind, here is a possible tweak to MLS to push it that much closer to full footy legitimacy.


THE REGULAR SEASON
The first and foremost act is to eliminate the outdated and irrelevant East and West Conference structure. No one is fussed by these false geographical rivalries and in the last two MLS Cup Finals, both clubs were from the same conference. The time to switch to a single table is now. With 18-20 clubs in MLS by 2012, the league can operate a home and home schedule much the same as you will find in England, Spain, Italy or other major leagues. Running along the same time frame as it does now but with the elimination of playoffs, would allow the league to keep more dates open for FIFA conflicts all the while crowning the MLS Champion at the end of the year to the team with the most points.

THE MLS CUP
The no-playoff idea always brings up fear mongering that claims North Americans won't go see their team if they are out of the race. Attendance would probably take a very minor hit but could be helped through a restructuring of the MLS Cup. Changed to play out like the FA Cup or any number of national cups, the revamped MLS Cup would start in late August with all 16 teams entering a one game knockout tourney. With the dates free from the elimination of the old playoffs, the first two rounds could be played out at the same time for all clubs until 4 clubs are left. In order to keep interest in cities that may be out of the championship race the Semi-Final could be played a week before the end of the regular season while the Final would take place a week after the completion of the regular season, much like the FA Cup is in England.


While it may take a while for some casual MLS fans to warm to the new style, a few years in would see the club with the most points be widely accepted as the true Champion of the league. The MLS Champ and the MLS Cup Winner would both still receive Champions League berths and in addition the US Open Cup and the Canadian Championship would add more than enough playoff style competition for the casual fan.

MLS has made some great strides in the past 5 years and now the time has come to continue its' maturation process as well as respecting the maturing football culture in North America who fill MLS stadiums and want their league to be as good as any in the world.

Editorial: MLS championship a "Real" joke

Imagine the headlines in Europe this past May if Major League Soccer ruled UEFA: "Man United 1st in Premiership - 8th Place Tottenham new Champions". "Palermo Wins Scudetto after coming in 8th - Inter look to next year". How come that kind of absurdity seems so ridiculous everywhere in football but is accepted as a justified reality in MLS?

Kudos to Real Salt Lake for knocking off one MLS favourite after another on the way to the title but is this what North American football fans really want? The need for a playoff structure in North America is seemingly necessary to attract fans late in the season but the result is one that insults true football fans.

When you look at this policy of playoffs, which has made the likes of Columbus and Houston mere footnotes in 2009, you realize that it is just part of the problem that truly keeps MLS on the outside of the world football community. The problem is that the league is still far too obsessed at reaching out to marketing demographics rather than the core football supporter. While it is true that the casual fan is necessary for financial purposes, they are also the most fair weather and likely to disappear.

The true football supporter is often overlooked in MLS's quest to corner the Volvo Mom demographic and it is to its own detriment. If you consider the football friendly changes made in the last few years such as more football-only stadiums, club names and kits that don't look like roller hockey and standardized FIFA rules, they have all complimented a fairly good product. On the other hand, MLS's history of "dumbing down" the sport have all been abysmal failures that didn't attract new fans and alienated true fans.

It is time for MLS to take some more steps towards full football legitimacy and the playoff structure should be one of the first moves. There are many different structures that could be implemented to move MLS closer in line with the rest of the world while keeping its North American necessities. In the end, it's the football that counts and RSL, a sub-.500 club, as MLS Champions is a poor showing for the league. Changes are needed, they just need to be done by football minds - not marketing ones.

THE STARTING 11: MLS Playoff surprises

While we are no big fan of the playoff structure in MLS, it seems to be a necessary evil in a North American league for now. The 2009 MLS Playoffs have actually been quite good though with 3 out of the 4 teams who remain being deserving. Sometimes however, there are off the field occurrences which can be just as interesting...

11. Houston advance to Semi-Finals - Texan high school football gets better TV ratings

10. Rohan Ricketts is on trial to be a ball boy at the MLS Cup Final

9. Chivas USA claim they were thrown off by Beckham's homoerotic lumberjack beard

8. Dwayne De Rosario failed in attempt to dye his jersey from red back to orange

7. RSL called in religious "favours" from the Mormon Church - squad now has to convert

6. Steve Nicol blames loss on his uncontrollable laughter over rumours of him taking the Toronto FC job

5. Red Bulls still somehow lost despite not playing

4. Chad Barrett got a hat-trick... playing FIFA on X-BOX

3. Guillermo Schelotto is still laying on the ground

2. After Seattle's loss, Drew Carey found sad and drunk by the Plinko board

1. MLSE still claims that TFC has a "good shot" at the 2009 Playoffs

Late Night Playoff Update: Come on you Washington, Osmonds Massive, up the Ewings... how you doin' Mo Johnston?

------------------ "Sing when you're winning" - RSL = 40pts

After having to swallow a 5-0 debacle in New York, one thing was clear - any team other than Toronto FC had to make the playoffs tonight. There was that brief moment where it was still possible that the Reds, that unbalanced, built-on-the cheap by Mo Johnston squad could still make the playoffs despite the club's horrifying display and completely mediocre season. Thankfully, the MLS gods don't have a morbid sense of humour and the truly undeserving TFC are done for the year. I don't care who grabs 8th as long as Johnston can't claim he did a good job. And that is mathematically final.

------------------"Hi there... I'm Washington" - DC United = 40pts

---------------------------"So close y'all" - FC Dallas = 39pts

------------------------------------This guy = 5 year plan

So Mo, builder of "something special" - this season's tally is a few extra points, the slimmest of victories over two USL sides, a meaningless friendly, a head coach evacuee and Chad Barrett's 5 goals. On the theme of 5. Here's 5 adjectives for tonight's "must-win" match: miserable, gutless, shameful, heartless and disgraceful.

Match Preview: They Might Be Giants

NEW YORK RED BULLS VS. TORONTO FC
Giants Stadium - Saturday, 7:30PM EST
TV: GOL-TV - RADIO: The Fan 590

In the wacky world of North American soccer football there are very few historical sites. While we will stop short of comparing East Rutherford, New Jersey's Giants Stadium to the likes of the San Siro, Nou Camp or Wembley, you have to admit it has played a large concrete role in the continent's footy story. Saturday's match between NYRB and Toronto will mark the final competitive match at the "Big Grey House that Pele Built". Giants Stadium was the epicentre during the NASL's heyday and was home to the aforementioned Brazilian as well as Beckenbauer, Cruyff and the rest of the Cosmos super-team. It also hosted matches at the 1994 World Cup and many other big-time friendlies and internationals. The stadium's awful NFL-laden Astroturf and its crumbling architecture make it a dinosaur in the current MLS world but it will always be the place where "soccer" made its first big American splash. And hey, if the results don't go TFC's way - at least they will be on a trivia question one day.

NY RED BULLS - 4-6-9 18pts - 7th in EAST (15th OVERALL)
What can be said about the Metrostars’ truly awful 2009 campaign? Winless on the road and only 4 W's at home is quite the collapse for a team who played in last year's MLS Cup Final. While it's true that they fluked their way to the Championship match last year, no one expected a level of futility as bad as the 2009 version of American Salzburg. That being said, perhaps TFC could be in for some bad luck as New York may want to shut down the old stadium with a bang. The shiny and awesome Red Bull Arena (too bad about the neighbourhood) awaits the Energy Drinkers and maybe this is the fixture which looks towards their future. It may very well be Juan Pablo Angel's New York swan song as well and if so, the Colombian ace will want to go out blazing as well as marketing himself to potential suitors. Even on this terrible team he managed a 10 goal tally (I wonder if he likes red?) With John Wolyniec out injured, Jamaican international Dane Richards will likely partner Angel up front and despite having a bad year he is still a top MLS player. Kevin "Bobcat" Goldthwaite is out with injury so if NY does turn out to be spoilers, at least it won't be with ex-TFC irony. See you in Harrison 2010 - The Gateway to Newark!

TORONTO FC - 10-9-10 39pts - 3rd in EAST (8th OVERALL)
Every time a certain Italo-Canadian in our section at BMO senses a TFC attack, he excitedly proclaims "THIS IS IT!” Well my Sicilian pal, this is indeed - it. Last match of the season and all to play for - it's 3 points or playoff bust for Toronto FC, nothing less will do. Toronto has had a horrendous road record this season and that has to end on Saturday. It is time for TFC's veterans to step up in a big way and carry this squad on their backs. With Carl Robinson out, Julian De Guzman must make good now and De Ro must snap out of his funk if TFC are to grab a win. With Stefan Frei still out, Brian "Brian Williams" Edwards will start and try to continue his solid form in goal. The injured Marvell Wynne will unlikely play against his old club meaning TFC will once again try wing play with no wingers. We could wish that Chris Cummins won't start Chad Barrett but we know how that will go - I used to want a "CHiPs Big Wheel" for Christmas and didn't get that either. That means it's a great chance for O'Brian "The Malvern Muscle" White to turn this match into his MLS coming out party. Goals need to be scored - goals need to be kept out. Easy as that. If TFC can get the win, they will have to wait for the late start Seattle vs. Dallas match to learn of their playoff fate. Before that though, they have to be Giants - or go home.

Are the 2009 playoffs TFC's poisoned cup?

Just because you can do something, doesn't necessarily make it the best option. As Toronto FC head into their last gasp attempt at making this year's playoffs, that conundrum does indeed rise. The enigma that is this season's Reds are quite frankly lucky to even have the chance to qualify for the post-season but that is the reality of MLS parity. Toronto does have a lot of individual talent but as supporters of the club have seen this year they lack structure, positional balance, tactical knowledge and far too often... heart. What, if anything, could an unlikely trip to the playoffs do to the face of the club?

The talents of the individual TFC players are often muted by the lack of positional options on the pitch. A glut of talented central midfielders hampers the club’s natural tendency to look for wing-play while the weak centre back combinations are only spared the goat’s horns by the truly appalling impotency of the forward line. This poor team structure sits at the feet of Director of Football Mo Johnston. In nearly four years of construction, and heavy rotation, Johnston hasn't been able to construct a balanced squad. Yes there is talent, but talent alone doesn't make a good team unit. Would a playoff appearance this year validate Mo's insistence that he is "building something special"? If an extra two matches means Johnston's ego is inflated more (if possible) and he can rest on his far from finished laurels, is it worth it?

There are of course positives that could arise from the post-season. Perhaps the taste of success, albeit minor, could propel the core of the team to move forward to bigger and better things in the future. If the younger members of the team can taste what the veterans already have, even briefly, it may be a benefit in 2010 and beyond. It is one of the veterans however whose attitude it may help the most. Many observers have been alarmed that Dwayne De Rosario has not looked himself in the past month or so. Frustrated, at times upset or on the odd occasion, uninterested - many have feared that the mediocre season has taken the shine off of the star's homecoming. Being in the limelight of the playoffs, where De Ro has always shined, may be just the tonic for the Scarborough superstar and his future in T.O.

The future is in fact the biggest concern as far as playoff residue is concerned. Could an October trip to Columbus or Houston put the brakes on progress that is already slow to begin with? Would a playoff-qualified TFC not feel the need to replace the nice but woefully under-qualified interim manager Chris Cummins? Further, does it mean that off-season player acquisitions are kept to a minimum as the team is called "good enough" or "close to competing" even though they are not? And, perhaps worst of all, does MLSE dine out on a playoff glimpse and use it as a marketing tool for the next 3 or 4 years of mediocre football?

Only time will tell of course, but as a fan, would you want to roll the dice on what could be two humiliating post-season matches in exchange for shaming the management into improving the club long-term? If the CONCACAF Champions League experience taught us anything, just getting there is often enough for TFC.

THE STARTING 11: Other MLS playoff tie-breakers

Any MLS supporter who still has a club in the race for the final playoff spots knows by now how completely wacky the tie-breaker system is in the event of two or more clubs ending up even. MLS must have hired unemployed former Soviet scientists to come up with such a series of win-loss-tie possibilities for this weekend. Well not to fear, if your club still can't be separated from a rival, it will come down to these...

11. Beard growing competition

10. Least amount of "Barretts" wins

9. Mascot oil wrestling tournament

8. Must last 3 minutes in the ring with Adrian Serioux

7. Team with dirtiest MLS cheerleading squad goes to playoffs

6. Competitive hot dog eating competition hosted by Collin Samuel

5. Survivor: Harrison, New Jersey

4. Team with most back hair moves on

3. So You Think You Can Dive

2. "Don Garber’s Rock-Paper-Scissors Showdown"

1. Chip Butty making contest

Match Preview: The Unnatural Disaster Derby

TORONTO FC VS. SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES
BMO Field - Saturday, 4PM EST
TV: CBC - RADIO: The Fan 590

If Charlton Heston was still alive he would be the perfect guest referee for this match. Hollywood's greatest crisis character actor would do well to preside over two clubs who have been an ongoing train wreck/ plane crash/ natural disaster all season. He could hold red cards aloft in "his cold dead hands!" Both of these clubs have hit way below their pre-season aims and as the season reaches its zenith, neither can afford more bad news. Toronto supporters can take some solace from its recent off-the-pitch good news, namely De Guzman and real grass, as opposed to San Jose who have yet to make a real plan to move out of their glorified high school stadium - Buck Shaw. However, if TFC doesn't get a win on Saturday and misses the playoffs, their on-the-pitch results won't be too different than the Californians. In MLS, if you don't make the playoffs, does it matter if you come in 9th or 15th?

TORONTO FC - 9-8-10 35pts -5th in EAST (10th OVERALL)
The disaster story took a turn for the worst this week as TFC was nailed with a major late-season injury crisis. The two week break was supposed to do wonders for the club's health but suddenly Carl Robinson's face was smashed by a young Cote D'Ivoirian, Marvell Wynne pulled up lame and Stefan Frei dislocated his finger. Robbo is gone for the season and Wynne is most likely out for Saturday while Frei will be a game day decision. Add to the mixture Amado Guevara's international absence and you suddenly have a line-up mish-mash at the most crucial point of the season. Julian De Guzman will have to step it up in the holding midfield role as the Designated Afro makes his home debut with big expectations from the faithful. High hopes will be placed on any new found chemistry between De Gu and De Ro and how that affects the so-called strike force. If Toronto can grab a lead they will have to show the backbone to hold it for 90 minutes and not let in yet another league-worst late 2nd half goal. If TFC doesn't leave with 3 points you may see that classic disaster movie moment when Chris Cummins drops to his knees and yells to the sky "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" ... especially if it's raining.

SJ EARTHQUAKES - 7-7-12 28pts -8th in WEST (14th OVERALL)
Late last season Frank Yallop and his San Jose squad really looked like it had gelled and that the future was bright. Many expected them to challenge for a playoff spot this season but it never got off the ground for the Ghosts of George Best. Very inconsistent play and some roster re-shuffling saw Quakes start slow and only get slower. Insult to injury came in the form of Darren Huckerby's unfortunate fate. The former Norwich star, who was in great form last season, succumbed to a nasty season ending injury which may turn out to be a career ending injury. The star has been passed onto the terrific young defender Ryan Johnson. The American full back who used to play for Sweden's Orebro actually leads the club with an astonishing (for a defender) 10 goals but if TFC can silence him, the remaining SJE offence has been anaemic. It will be interesting to see what effect San Jose's poor season has on the fate of manager Frank Yallop. If the former Canadian MNT coach happens to become free, I can think of a certain red team with an interim head coach who should sign him immediately. That would definitely be no disaster.

Dawn of the Playoff Dead

With this being Toronto FC's first realistic challenge at the bottom of the MLS playoff picture, Toronto fans are experiencing the frustrating yet forgiving parity that comes with this league. Championship playoffs and football are chalk and cheese as far as we are concerned but that's a complaint for another day - we will play with the hand dealt in MLS. As it stands right now, TFC are somehow still mathematically eligible for the post-season despite a lacklustre campaign in 2009. It is possible, with quite a bit of help from other clubs, and a sudden three game backbone, that The Reds could still challenge for the MLS Cup. Like some kind of footballing zombies, you think they are dead but they still keep coming back and trying to qualify... and eat your brains. Well, if Collin Samuel were still here the eating part could be true.

There are two necessities that must take place for Toronto to make its playoff debut. 6 points at home against San Jose and Real Salt Lake are absolutely essential and they preferably need to win by as wide a margin as possible to avoid tie-break messes. The kicker though is the final game against New York. Toronto will have to pull off what has been so rare in the last three years - a road win. New York is well and truly out of it this season but perhaps the final MLS match at Giants Stadium may spur on NYRB a bit. TFC will have to man-up to get the 3 points on the final day if they want to play another match in 2009. Unfortunately, because Toronto has floundered for much of the season, they also depend on help from teams around them. There is an astounding seven clubs who can affect TFC's final position and who have all to play for themselves. The other MLS zombies we are running from are...

CHICAGO FIRE
Fire are still aiming for a high ranking in the playoff picture and will be playing hard. TFC isn't aiming for them but their away match against New England and home finale against Chivas USA could do TFC big favours. Chicago should finish strong and use the momentum to propel into the playoffs where they can do some damage.

SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC
The first year club (don't hear any excuses there, do you?) have had a fantastic year and currently sit in 5th overall. With two games left, Sounders need to play fairly well to qualify and could get a potential 47 points on the season. The schedule is friendly to them with an away match to magic-less Wizards and a home season closer to high-scoring FC Dallas. The Qwest experience on the last day should see the Green Wave wash into the playoffs which is a great achievement in year one.

CHIVAS USA
The Goats are likely out of TFC's reach and with a home match against Kansas, should have what it takes to grab a playoff position between 4th and 7th. They end the season away to FC Dallas but should have enough quality to safely see them through to the post season.

COLORADO RAPIDS
Rapids have been as inconsistent as Toronto this year and are definitely one of the clubs TFC is aiming for. Colorado has two away matches to end the season against playoff hopeful Real Salt Lake and the recurring fixture that is FC Dallas away. If Colorado gets 3 points from either match it might be enough to secure their playoff ticket but less than that and they will be in a dogfight for the 8th spot.

NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION
Revs are one of the three playoff zombies, along with RSL and TFC, which have three fixtures left to play. A tough home and away with Columbus (gotta love MLS schedules) and a tough visit from Chicago means Steve Nicol's boys have their work ahead of them. New England has the hardest schedule of all the playoff wannabees but if they can get 6 points or more they should be able to secure a spot between 6th and 8th. Anything less than that sees the three teams below them eagerly nipping at their heels.

DC UNITED
The formerly perennial playoff contenders find themselves 2 points out of the playoffs with two games left to play. The reigning champs Columbus visit DC but the always difficult RFK Stadium should help that challenge. Finishing off the season against Kansas City is a good bonus for DC but there is no room for mistakes. United must get 6 points to have any chance of grabbing the last spot.

REAL SALT LAKE
With three games to go and 34 points to show for it, RSL has a challenge ahead. In their favour however is a schedule that sees them face two playoff contention rivals and the usually lame New York at home. 9 points would give RSL a solid shot at 8th in the playoff picture as it would mean them stealing points off of TFC and Colorado. Anything less than a perfect string and the Mormon Tabernacle Choir won't be meeting the team at the airport.

All of which leaves the hometown heroes (?) Toronto FC. This Saturday sees San Jose coming to BMO Field followed by the aforementioned RSL visit and capped off with the NYRB trip. A perfect run is necessary and to be honest there is no reason why they can't do that - on paper. Sadly TFC's problems seem to be in the spinal area and as highlighted earlier, it is not an area where they have shown consistency. If the players and staff back-up the confident talk with some solid play then TFC can potentially be the dark-horse of the playoff scheme. That being said, three wins in a row including a road win would be rarefied air for Toronto FC. If they can't be perfect they will go from being the playoff undead to the zombie head chop which is no playoffs... again... brrrr-ains!