Match Preview: They Might Be Giants

NEW YORK RED BULLS VS. TORONTO FC
Giants Stadium - Saturday, 7:30PM EST
TV: GOL-TV - RADIO: The Fan 590

In the wacky world of North American soccer football there are very few historical sites. While we will stop short of comparing East Rutherford, New Jersey's Giants Stadium to the likes of the San Siro, Nou Camp or Wembley, you have to admit it has played a large concrete role in the continent's footy story. Saturday's match between NYRB and Toronto will mark the final competitive match at the "Big Grey House that Pele Built". Giants Stadium was the epicentre during the NASL's heyday and was home to the aforementioned Brazilian as well as Beckenbauer, Cruyff and the rest of the Cosmos super-team. It also hosted matches at the 1994 World Cup and many other big-time friendlies and internationals. The stadium's awful NFL-laden Astroturf and its crumbling architecture make it a dinosaur in the current MLS world but it will always be the place where "soccer" made its first big American splash. And hey, if the results don't go TFC's way - at least they will be on a trivia question one day.

NY RED BULLS - 4-6-9 18pts - 7th in EAST (15th OVERALL)
What can be said about the Metrostars’ truly awful 2009 campaign? Winless on the road and only 4 W's at home is quite the collapse for a team who played in last year's MLS Cup Final. While it's true that they fluked their way to the Championship match last year, no one expected a level of futility as bad as the 2009 version of American Salzburg. That being said, perhaps TFC could be in for some bad luck as New York may want to shut down the old stadium with a bang. The shiny and awesome Red Bull Arena (too bad about the neighbourhood) awaits the Energy Drinkers and maybe this is the fixture which looks towards their future. It may very well be Juan Pablo Angel's New York swan song as well and if so, the Colombian ace will want to go out blazing as well as marketing himself to potential suitors. Even on this terrible team he managed a 10 goal tally (I wonder if he likes red?) With John Wolyniec out injured, Jamaican international Dane Richards will likely partner Angel up front and despite having a bad year he is still a top MLS player. Kevin "Bobcat" Goldthwaite is out with injury so if NY does turn out to be spoilers, at least it won't be with ex-TFC irony. See you in Harrison 2010 - The Gateway to Newark!

TORONTO FC - 10-9-10 39pts - 3rd in EAST (8th OVERALL)
Every time a certain Italo-Canadian in our section at BMO senses a TFC attack, he excitedly proclaims "THIS IS IT!” Well my Sicilian pal, this is indeed - it. Last match of the season and all to play for - it's 3 points or playoff bust for Toronto FC, nothing less will do. Toronto has had a horrendous road record this season and that has to end on Saturday. It is time for TFC's veterans to step up in a big way and carry this squad on their backs. With Carl Robinson out, Julian De Guzman must make good now and De Ro must snap out of his funk if TFC are to grab a win. With Stefan Frei still out, Brian "Brian Williams" Edwards will start and try to continue his solid form in goal. The injured Marvell Wynne will unlikely play against his old club meaning TFC will once again try wing play with no wingers. We could wish that Chris Cummins won't start Chad Barrett but we know how that will go - I used to want a "CHiPs Big Wheel" for Christmas and didn't get that either. That means it's a great chance for O'Brian "The Malvern Muscle" White to turn this match into his MLS coming out party. Goals need to be scored - goals need to be kept out. Easy as that. If TFC can get the win, they will have to wait for the late start Seattle vs. Dallas match to learn of their playoff fate. Before that though, they have to be Giants - or go home.

Match Preview: Done for Real?

TORONTO FC VS. REAL SALT LAKE
BMO Field - Saturday, 4PM EST
TV: CBC -- RADIO: The Fan 590

The worst tease to Toronto supporters are the two simple words: mathematically possible. It's the ever-changing combination of points available and rivals' performances that allow TFC to still say "we have a shot" at the playoffs week after week. You can almost hear the brighter sparks in the TFC faithful praying to be put out of their misery. At this point, would you really want to see this version of The Reds squeak into the playoffs? Would a two-game, first round drubbing at the hands of a Columbus or Houston really be that special? There is a reasonable line of thought that says that TFC making the playoffs this year would be a curse. Mo and the MLSE Gang would be trumpeting an 8th place finish as a "great success" and claiming that the current roster and coaching staff are good enough to compete. If they miss the playoffs however, questions about the players and staff will have to be addressed in time for 2010. The long term success of this club will be far better served by the front office being shamed into strengthening the team and its coaches rather than resting on the laurels of a first round playoff glimpse.

TORONTO FC - 9-9-10 36pts - 5th in EAST (11th OVERALL)
The biggest question for Toronto this weekend will be - who really deserves to be in the starting 11 against RSL? Also, who has the heart to play for a full 90 minutes? Sadly, due to the kiddie pool-like depth of the team, it will likely be a very similar line-up to the one who could barely contain the juggernaut that is San Jose Earthquakes last week. The injury bug is still the biggest detriment to the already talent-challenged squad. With Carl Robinson already gone for the season, keeper Stefan Frei is unlikely, Marvell Wynne is still a question-mark and both Adrian Serioux and Pablo Vitti will be game-day decisions. Brian Edwards will likely get the start in goal and will provide very capable back-up but the depleted squad will no doubt feature "The Human Own Goal" Nick Garcia and Chad "Holy F**kin Sh*t He's Still Starting" Barrett. Amado Guevara may or may not be back from Honduras depending on World Cup Qualifying hangover/ military coup. No matter who starts, if TFC really wants a shot at the post-season, the Torontonaccio all-out-defend tactic and the 15 goals in the last 15 minutes cannot make an appearance. Just to twist the knife: if TFC ties or loses and New England beats Chicago - The Reds are (say it aloud!) mathematically eliminated.

REAL SALT LAKE - 10-7-11 37pts - 6th in WEST (9th OVERALL)
The only thing more interesting than watching a wholly undeserving team try to make the playoffs is... TWO wholly undeserving teams try to make the playoffs! The Mormon Tabernacle Choir aka Real Salt Lake aka Deportivo La Utah travels to the (extremely) chilly shores of Lake Ontario for this late-season Battle of the non-Titans. To be fair, RSL has a fairly solid squad who have had some bad luck this year. Considering their young manager Jason Kreis can substitute in the club's leading scorer Robbie Findlay off the bench, while we start Wayne Rooney's non-union stunt-double (you know who I mean), they're not too shabby a club. It was back in June that RSL manhandled TFC in Utah to the Jazzy tune of 3-0. Kyle "White Rasta" Beckerman and the seriously underrated Yura Movsisyan made like Stockton and Malone that night and will be up for it on Saturday. Expect those Osmond-listening, sodium-swimming sons-of-guns to play a solid conservative style in the knowledge that TFC will have to attack and will likely make a sloppy mistake which will allow an easy counter-attack. If by chance Toronto get a one-goal lead, put your money on RSL's Toronto-born midfielder Andy Williams to score a 93rd minute equalizer. Gotta keep it Real.

Match Preview: The Unnatural Disaster Derby

TORONTO FC VS. SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES
BMO Field - Saturday, 4PM EST
TV: CBC - RADIO: The Fan 590

If Charlton Heston was still alive he would be the perfect guest referee for this match. Hollywood's greatest crisis character actor would do well to preside over two clubs who have been an ongoing train wreck/ plane crash/ natural disaster all season. He could hold red cards aloft in "his cold dead hands!" Both of these clubs have hit way below their pre-season aims and as the season reaches its zenith, neither can afford more bad news. Toronto supporters can take some solace from its recent off-the-pitch good news, namely De Guzman and real grass, as opposed to San Jose who have yet to make a real plan to move out of their glorified high school stadium - Buck Shaw. However, if TFC doesn't get a win on Saturday and misses the playoffs, their on-the-pitch results won't be too different than the Californians. In MLS, if you don't make the playoffs, does it matter if you come in 9th or 15th?

TORONTO FC - 9-8-10 35pts -5th in EAST (10th OVERALL)
The disaster story took a turn for the worst this week as TFC was nailed with a major late-season injury crisis. The two week break was supposed to do wonders for the club's health but suddenly Carl Robinson's face was smashed by a young Cote D'Ivoirian, Marvell Wynne pulled up lame and Stefan Frei dislocated his finger. Robbo is gone for the season and Wynne is most likely out for Saturday while Frei will be a game day decision. Add to the mixture Amado Guevara's international absence and you suddenly have a line-up mish-mash at the most crucial point of the season. Julian De Guzman will have to step it up in the holding midfield role as the Designated Afro makes his home debut with big expectations from the faithful. High hopes will be placed on any new found chemistry between De Gu and De Ro and how that affects the so-called strike force. If Toronto can grab a lead they will have to show the backbone to hold it for 90 minutes and not let in yet another league-worst late 2nd half goal. If TFC doesn't leave with 3 points you may see that classic disaster movie moment when Chris Cummins drops to his knees and yells to the sky "NOOOOOOOO!!!!" ... especially if it's raining.

SJ EARTHQUAKES - 7-7-12 28pts -8th in WEST (14th OVERALL)
Late last season Frank Yallop and his San Jose squad really looked like it had gelled and that the future was bright. Many expected them to challenge for a playoff spot this season but it never got off the ground for the Ghosts of George Best. Very inconsistent play and some roster re-shuffling saw Quakes start slow and only get slower. Insult to injury came in the form of Darren Huckerby's unfortunate fate. The former Norwich star, who was in great form last season, succumbed to a nasty season ending injury which may turn out to be a career ending injury. The star has been passed onto the terrific young defender Ryan Johnson. The American full back who used to play for Sweden's Orebro actually leads the club with an astonishing (for a defender) 10 goals but if TFC can silence him, the remaining SJE offence has been anaemic. It will be interesting to see what effect San Jose's poor season has on the fate of manager Frank Yallop. If the former Canadian MNT coach happens to become free, I can think of a certain red team with an interim head coach who should sign him immediately. That would definitely be no disaster.

Match Preview: Soccer Bowl '84 Part II aka The Bumblebee Analogy Preview

CHICAGO FIRE VS. TORONTO FC
Toyota Park - Saturday, 8:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet

Well if it wasn't bad enough that NASL nostalgia has brought back Sounders, Timbers, Earthquakes, Whitecaps and no doubt Cosmos, Chicago Fire has decided to make Saturday's game an anniversary celebration of Soccer Bowl 1984! The festivities will celebrate the Chicago Sting's victory over Toronto Blizzard in the dying days of the NASL. What is involved in the celebration apart from halftime salutes and autographs is unsure. Are the crowds expected to dress circa 1984? Will Brian McBride be reading passages from George Orwell's 1984? Will Kenny Loggins and Lionel Richie sing the national anthems? Oh the fun! Rubik's Cubes for everyone! As our part in the celebration, although we would have preferred a Blizzard win, we will lace this match preview so full off Sting-esque analogies your head will be buzz-ing! See what I did there? Let's bee-gin. I know... amazing.

CHICAGO FIRE - 10-10-6 40pts - 2nd in EAST (4th OVERALL)
Fresh off of a 2-2 draw against yellow-and-black Sting wannabees the Columbus Crew last week, Chicago Fire is looking to build on their solid season so far by continuing their float up the MLS East table. The Fire have been playing fairly consistently through the summer and their efforts are pollenating into a strong late season. The squad has been stung by injury this week and could be without Mexican Killer Bee Cuauhtemoc Blanco and another midfield stalwart in the form of Sith Ifrican John Thorrington. Despite the potential loss of those two key pieces, Fire can still create a hive of activity up front with the dual striking prowess of Brian McBride and Chris Rolfe. Queen Bee... I mean manager, Denis Hamlett seems to have Chicago playing as a team and has kept their wings clipped as far as overlooking Toronto towards the post-season.

TORONTO FC - 9-7-10 34pts - 5th in EAST (11th OVERALL)

If Toronto wants to send a message (in a bottle... I know, different Sting) to MLS and their fans that they are serious about the post-season then they must be aggressive - B-E-E AGRESSIVE! The road performances of late that have seen The Reds only take 1 of a possible 12 points must end immediately if their already slim playoff chances hope to survive. Once again the key will be making the front line a hornet's nest and making a beeline for goal. It seems as if Chad "I Can't Bee-lieve He's Playing" Barrett has a season ticket for starting up front so don't expect too much until Chris Cummins subs him out in the 60th minute again. Adrian Serioux is still questionable with a nagging neck injury and Carl "The Welsh Wasp" Robinson (come on - it could stick) will be a game-time decision. This game may very well bee the last opportunity for TFC to fly into the honeypot that is the playoffs but if they leave Toyota Park without 3 points they may as well make like all good bees in the winter - roll over and die. I hope they never have these NASL celebrations again, Bee analogies are not fun after three paragraphs. My creativity is frozen... like in a Blizzard. Eh? Blizzard... get it? Never mind. Metros-Croatia to you and your Jumpin' Jim Brunzell.

Match Preview: T-F-C aims for Hi-Score on Galaxian

LA GALAXY VS. TORONTO FC
Home Depot Center -Saturday, 10:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet

Toronto FC makes its annual trip to Hollywood, unless you count Chivas USA - which is Mexican Hollywood, to play the Nu-Cosmos, aka LA Galaxy, aka David & The Beckhams. This may be the last time us Torontos get to see The Beckham Show, barring a post-season miracle, as the tattoo/ coiffure enthusiast looks likely to drift out of MLS this off-season. That is of course if he doesn't become Le David du Beckham a la ownership du L'Impact avec le Fromage Saputo. The ownership rumour surrounding Goldenballs and Canada's second city still has a few frog legs but we would prefer to wager a real Nu-Cosmos (as in New York II) would be Beckham's likely fancy if ownership is in his future. Montreal just seems to lack a certain je nais c’est big.

As an aside to the usual pre-match banter, we are a little miffed with Toronto Mayor and TFC season ticket holder David Miller. With the Toronto International Film Festival in town, our fair city is currently home to a large chunk of Hollywood royalty. Surely City Hall could put a call into Los Angeles City Hall with a loosely veiled threat to, well let's just say, detain their precious celebrity commodities unless our boys leave with 3 points in tow. Just saying. They do worse in South American football.

LA GALAXY - 9-11-5 - 38pts - 2nd in WEST (4th OVERALL)
Up until last week Galaxy were easily the hottest team in MLS. They had only lost once since the end of June, not entirely coincidental to the return of David Beckham from his European loan excursion. However, it all came crashing down last week when LA allowed a club recorded 6 goals against - en route to a 6-3 drubbing by FC Dallas. That result was likely a blip on the radar as Galaxy have been a much improved team under manager/ Huckleberry Hound impersonator Bruce Arena this season. Beckham has been solid in his 7 games with the club this year but it is the somewhat unsung hero Landon Donovan who has been carrying the club with 10 goals and 5 assists. Donovan has always found a way to hurt TFC and will be as dangerous as ever. Two ex-Reds are in the team news this week as Alecko Eskandarian is out with a head injury (insert headgear jibe here) while Edson "Why the eff was he traded" Buddle returned from injury to immediately score a goal. Galaxy are definitely more of a unit this season than the collection of individuals of the past couple of seasons.

TORONTO FC - 9-7-9 - 34pts - 4th in EAST (10th OVERALL)
The Reds are coming off a sorely needed win over Colorado last week. The 3-2 victory was a scrappy, sloppy affair but still gave TFC a shot at the playoffs. To truly contend for the post-season though, the team must find a way to get some road wins. During the recent road swing, Toronto managed a paltry 1 out of 9 possible points. With a date in Chicago on the horizon next week, the road woes must be fixed now. The big news in this match will be the debut of the club's first DP Julian De Guzman. The former La Liga star will be well aware of David Beckham's midfield wizardry having played against him when they were both in Spain. Miracles can't be expected from De Gu but having him arrive at the same time that Carl Robinson has gone down with an ankle injury is a Godsend. Adrian Serioux is questionable with a neck injury so Nana Attakora will have to play a bigger role. Perhaps his confidence will be buoyed further after his first ever goal last week. Chris Cummins will still have a decision up front and I for one am tired of expecting him to bench Chad Barrett only to see him in the starting line-up every week. Does The Chad own incriminating videos of someone? Considering O'Brian White did more in two minutes last week than Barrett has done in 7 games we can hope for change. If not, someone better call the mayor's office fast.

Match Preview: Colorado II: Return To Sea Level

TORONTO FC VS. COLORADO RAPIDS
BMO Field - Saturday, 4:30PM EST
TV: CBC -- Radio: The Fan 590

Hey Colorado - do you like the circus? Well, let's hope so because without putting up the BMO Winter Bubble, the big top is definitely in full effect. The only thing not happening around TFC this week is talk of how poor they have played lately! Since we last met Rapid Colorado (apologies to Vienna and Bucharest etc.) The Reds have forced their homemade legend and cult hero Danny Dichio into retirement; revealed their "plans" for bringing grass to BMO Field (believe it only if you smoke grass); and today, excuse me while I re-hinge my jaw, have signed their first Designated Player in the way of Scarborough Afro-cultivator and former La Liga star Julian De Guzman! So... how was your week Denverites? One thing we can say about Toronto FC under Chairman Mo's tutelage - they are rarely boring. True, the news is usually infuriating but sprinkled in the midst is sometimes a glimmer of hope which keeps us addicted like shaking Field Turf junkies.

TORONTO FC - 8-7-9 - 31pts - 5th in EAST (11th OVERALL)
Make no bones about it, Toronto FC must win this match to stay even remotely close to the playoff hunt. The club's recent form is shocking and it is surprising that after only one win in seven matches they still have the post-season opportunity. Thank the Baby Jesus for MLS parity. Last week's disheartening 1-0 loss to our back-to-back buddies Colorado had Dwayne De Rosario steaming after the match and questioning his team mates "commitment" to the cause. It is going to take a much improved display from Chris Cummins' men to get 3 points tomorrow and as usual, the problem will come from the impotent strikers. If Chad Barrett starts - switch the channel to pro bowling. The task will be made harder with a possible injury to Carl Robinson as well as suspensions to Adrian Serioux and Amadou Sanyang. Amado Guevara will be back from international duty but whether his mind and energy follow his body on to the pitch is another story. Whether or not brand new DP midfielder Julian De Guzman will play, depends on his contract and transfer being finalized by MLS in time as well as his fitness.

COLORADO RAPIDS - 9-6-7 - 36pts - 3rd in WEST (5th OVERALL)
What Toronto saw from Colorado last week in suburban Denver is what we will likely see again. Perhaps the outlook will be slightly defensive but if TFC goes cold early, expect Rapids to go for the jugular. The Maroons are creeping their way up the table and know that with a few more points they can secure a playoff berth. The steady results as of late may very well set them in good standing against TFC's off the field distractions. The toothless (literally and dentally not figuratively) Conor Casey will be the main threat once again as he shows his wisdom (see what I did there!) in front of goal. With 12 goals, Casey leads MLS and is on track for the golden boot. If only TFC could have signed him... oh yeah... never mind. Pablo Mastroeni is still serving suspension so midfield duties will fall to the pinpoint passing skills of Mehdi "The Blues Brothers" Ballouchy with Omar Cummings helping out up front. If Rapids can ignore the circus then they can shoot TFC's season out of the proverbial cannon.

Match Preview: Denver - The Last MLS Dinosaur

COLORADO RAPIDS VS. TORONTO FC
Dick's Sporting Goods Park - Saturday 10PM EST
TV - Rogers Sportsnet -- Radio: The Fan 590

It's one of those glorious little quirks of Major League Soccer that helps hold it back in the eyes of Eurosnobs and naysayers here and abroad. A back-to-back fixture against the same club. Nowhere else in the world of football does this occur in regular season. An absurdity that has to be fixed. Also needing a fix - Colorado Rapids. Is there a more tepid, poorly managed team (off the field) in MLS as the Maroons? While it's true they have rarely been world-beaters on the pitch, their image, as controlled by owner Stan Kroenke and his staff is poor. Soccer-mom baiting madness rules in Colorado with thundersticks, "Bring your dog to the match" type promotions and other useless corporate mush straight out of "The Big Book of American Soccer Leagues".

It was thought that building a truly beautiful stadium would change things but The Dick has the same atmosphere as Stan Kroenke's other club - Arsenal. Like a mini-Emirates Stadium, The Dick, on most match days, shares Arsenal's atmosphere that rates slightly higher than a library that is about to close. In a league where many original clubs have taken the baby steps towards acting like world football teams and not roller hockey franchises, Rapids have given no favours to real football supporters in the Denver area and their attendance and atmosphere are the proof. At least this week, TFC supporters can concentrate on the play on the pitch and not about a pissing match about who has the best fans.

COLORADO RAPIDS - 9-6-7 - 33pts 4th in WEST (6th OVERALL)
Rapids have been hovering around mid-table for most of the season and have been quite an enigma lately. Recently they suffered a humiliating 3-2 loss at Chicago after holding a 2-0 lead for much of the match. However, in their next match they answered the previous form with a solid 1-0 win over title favourites Houston Dynamo. Injuries and absences will make this match a challenge for Rapids with leading scorer, and brief Red, Conor Casey on national team duty while midfield talisman Pablo Mastroeni is out on suspension. Playmaking duties will fall to talented Moroccan Mhedi "Don't Call Me John" Ballouchy who will try to aim his pinpoint crosses at Jamaican forward Omar Cummings. Hopefully no Golden Retrievers will get involved in the play.

TORONTO FC - 8-7-8 - 31pts 5th in EAST (11th OVERALL)
The story continues for "The Road Worriers" and their western travels. Failing to get a result against an undermanned Rapids will be a huge blow to the club. With the large amount of clubs within 3 points of TFC in the standings, any combination of Toronto losses and close rival wins can severely damage the playoff hopes. The worry is once again up front where scoring has been a rumour for TFC. Which combo Chris Cummins will go with is anyone's guess these days although if Chad Barrett gets another start after last week at Seattle, many will be scratching their heads. To The Chad's defence though, Gerba, Vitti, Dichio (remember him?) and whoever else is added to the mixture up front has been equally useless or used incorrectly. The one plus out of the Seattle match was the ability shown by rookie Gambian midfielder Amadou Sanyang. Sanyang and his countryman Emmanuel Gomez have shown a great deal of composure and poise despite their age and sudden arrival from Africa. With an ankle injury to Carl Robinson and Amado Guevara away on international duty, Sanyang may very well get the call. Does The Gambia happen to have any strikers waiting around?

Match Preview: Smells Like (No) Team Spirit

SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC VS. TORONTO FC
Qwest Field - Saturday 4:00PM EST
TV: CBC RADIO: The Fan 590

TFC finally embarks on their first trip to the town everyone in MLS is talking about. No not expansion candidate Birmingham, Alabama - it's the jewel of the Pacific Northwest - Seattle! That is of course if you don't count Vancouver. And maybe Portland. I hear Eugene, Oregon is nice too. Either way - it’s Seattle! What can you say about the Emerald City? It's famous for overpriced coffee, Kurt Cobain's mysterious death, "Spoonman", rioting against the World Bank, TV's "Frasier" and that tossed salad song of his, the poor man's CN Tower, Xavier McDaniel's huge dunks and "Harry and the Hendersons". Damn you Seattle and your Generation X' iness - suck on our Tower. They've also got a football club with a good heritage (for North America) and an obvious solid fan base. So hyped are their support numbers that Don Garber has been cheating on TFC with them! Remember when we were your sweethearts Don? What did we do? ... Oh, the not winning? I'd say we can change but...On to the road game!

SEATTLE SOUNDERS FC - 8-6-9 - 3rd in WEST (5th OVERALL)
There has never been an expansion tag on this club. No management yarns about 5 year plans, no waiting on bringing in a DP, no playing just for pride for the first few years. How dreamy must that be? Since SSFC came to BMO Field on opening day and pissed on our old green rug they have shown the league that they are here to compete. They bought a lot of pricey players (in MLS terms) and they have paid off. Swedish Chef/ Underwear salesman Freddie Ljungberg still has the ability to control a game from the attacking midfield position while the main recipient of his passes, Colombian wonderkid Freddy Montero, leads the club with 10 goals. Throw into the rave green mixture a resurgent Nate Jacqua (7G, 7A) and an internationally renowned 'keeper in Kasey Keller and you can see why success has come early. The fans are filling the stadium and the Supersonic-less city seems to be embracing the club which no doubt has itself a bright future. The only plus for TFC is that Sounders had lost 3 out of 4 before last week's draw but they play well at home.

TORONTO FC - 8-6-8 - 3rd in EAST (8th OVERALL)
As if the usual Toronto road trip malaise wasn't bad enough, TFC has spent the week fighting fires from it's two biggest names. First was the Dwayne De Rosario "No Grass, Kiss My Ass - 2010" story followed by DichioGate later in the week. Tomorrow will prove whether or not the team spirit has stayed somewhat intact or if the dressing room is as fractured as some fear. Interim Mo puppet/ nice guy Chris Cummins will have some hard choices to make with two big gaps to fill in the way of Carl Robinson and Adrian Serioux. The two suspended hard men supply this team with 99% of its steel and that isn't easily replaced with rookies. The youth movement replay in the Reds loss to Chivas last week was not successful but TFC's puddle-like depth offers Cummins very little option. Luckily, midfielder Sam Cronin plays like a young Carl Robinson and seems very composed but the bright lights and 30,000 plus crowd of Qwest may be too much for the younger boys on the team. If TFC are going to get anything from this match, it will only be with a full team effort.

Match Preview: Goats vs. Kids

CHIVAS USA VS. TORONTO FC
Home Depot Center - Saturday 10:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet -- Radio: The Fan 590

Is there a more pseudo-ethnically diverse game on the MLS calendar than Chivas USA vs. Toronto? Unless the league expands to Mexico or to another foreign country, like Quebec, then this is as strange as it gets. The quasi-Mexican team which has a few Mexicans on it, against the more-than-quasi-Canadian team with a few Canadians on it. Hard to get riled up for these matches although the "Mexi-Can Derby" has a neat ring to it. Both clubs are currently floating around mid-table and neither can drop too many points if the playoffs are going to stay realistic so that may be a recipe for a tight match. It should be road greys for TFC as the Goats' two kit options are red with white stripes or alternately white with red stripes. Ariba Eh!

CHIVAS USA -- 9-3-7 30 pts - 5th in WEST (7th OVERALL)
The Goats have been through a bad spell through the middle part of the season that has seen them fall to 5th in the West after a decent start. The club actually got its first win in two months, beating New York 2-0 in their last fixture. Manager and former MLS standout Preki has had an injury nightmare this year and may still be without core Goats Ante Razov, Claudio Suarez and Sasha Victorine. There is always hope for Club Deportivo Chivas USA (their Christian full name) when Sacha Klejstan is in the line-up. If MLS was a high school, he'd be voted "Most Likely To Go To Europe". Reinforcements have also been brought in the form of "The Jesus" Jesus Padilla. Padilla is on loan from Original Flavour Chivas - The Guadalajara version - and is said to be a talented young forward. Chivas haven't ever dropped a point at home to TFC, including Toronto's first ever professional match back in 2007.

TORONTO FC -- 8-6-7 30 pts - 3rd in EAST (8th OVERALL)
The biggest question for Manager Chris Cummins will be whether or not to stay with the youth movement that inspired the Reds to a 2-0 victory over D.C. United last Saturday. The kids did look good but young players do sometimes lack the consistency needed, especially when trying to grab points on the road. The Gambians looked surprisingly confident and Nana Attakora is more impressive by the week. Attakora reminds us of a young Ledley King but has also been prone to King-like injuries. If he can stay healthy and gain some bulk, a Canada call-up must be in the cards. Jim Brennan, with his Cowboy Bob Orton cast, is suspended due to an amalgamation of yellow cards, which may open the door for a Lesly Fellinga sighting on the left side. Marvell Wynne and Nick Garcia are due back in the line-up, which may see Adrian Serioux and Attakora rotate on the wing. It will be interesting to see if O'Brian White's first-ever goal will be enough to garner another start and if so, what effect that has on Ali Gerba's integration into the Toronto line-up. Unlike Chivas, TFC does not have a Jesus to add to the roster. Victor Moses, Juan Pablo Angel, Solomon Kalou and other Bible-themed footballers are also unavailable.

Match Preview: The Damned United

TORONTO FC VS. D.C. UNITED
BMO Field - Saturday 4:00 PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet -- Radio: The Fan 590

How do two teams react after being punched repeatedly in the face by Spanish billionaires? It will be interesting to see which club gained the most out of being Real Madrid's b*tches last week. The friendly-hype is now officially dead and the season continues into the final stretch. 10 games left to play this season with the playoffs completely dependent on which Toronto FC shows up. Will it be the dynamically offensive club capable of scoring in bunches - even if it is from the midfield? Or, will it be the defensively offensive club who has allowed a league worst 11 goals between the 76th and 90th minutes? The only problem is that right out of the gate, The Reds face D.C. United who are in exactly the same position as them. This match may set the ball rolling on the fate of two clubs.

TORONTO FC 6-10-4 27 pts - 5th in EAST (9th Overall)
The last league match for TFC was the 1-1 draw at New England but that was a blip during a rather poor run as of late. Once again, Chris Cummins will have had to find a way to re-energize the sputtering offence and get Ali Gerba working as a useful hitman. On the other end of the pitch, the back four will need to keep their shape - especially late in the game. New addition Lesly Fellinga will not play due to work permits and Marvell Wynne is out with a hamstring injury. Stop eating stringy ham - you're rich! Add to the defensive wounded list Nick Garcia and TFC once again has a crisis in the back. Good depth there Director of Football - "building to the future". Up front, things need to pick up in a hurry, especially with the strikers. Good news is that Chad Barrett is suspended due to his red card which means he cannot play.

D.C. UNITED 6-10-4 28pts - 9th in EAST (7th Overall)

The Black and Red machine have always given TFC a hard time but the last match between the two was a real barn-burner. The 3-3 draw at RFK back in May was an impressive display of scoring by both sides. Despite having an up and down year, United have a lot of firepower. Brazilian Luciano Emilio has 8 goals while Christian Gomez and the ageless wonder that is Jaime Moreno have 6 each. On top of that, United also have Fred on their team! Not the good Fred who plays in Europe but another Fred! How great is Brazil to have two Fred's? I guess they are indeed better than one. No major injuries for D.C. except for the stinging reality that Barack Obama likes Chicago Fire more than them.

Match Preview: Getting Two By The Islanders aka "Los Miraclos II"

PUERTO RICO ISLANDERS VS. TORONTO FC
Juan Ramon Loubriel Stadium - Tuesday 8:00PM EST
TV: GOL-TV

What's Spanish for deja vu? It wasn't long ago that TFC had grossly underestimated a USL squad only to need a major win to escape humiliating defeat. Glad to see life lessons were learned back in Montreal. Toronto FC did manage to pull off a minor footballing miracle back at Saputo that night however this is a whole different kettle of Tilapia. Unlike L'Impact, Islanders (or Tropa Naranja to their friends) have everything to play for and will not be fielding a reserve team for this match. Nothing is impossible and the ball is indeed round, but you have to believe that TFC is about to see exactly how Puerto Rico went to the CONCACAF Champions League Semi-Finals last season. Aye bloody carumba.

PUERTO RICO ISLANDERS (CCL) 1-0-0 (1GF / 0GA - 1 Away Goal)
Expect a very patient Islanders team at home. They have a good fan base who will be pushing them forward but manager Colin Clarke and his team know TFC will have everything to play for. Los Islenos will likely try to shut up shop and wait for TFC to make a mistake then pounce on the counter-attack. You know, like they did at BMO Field last week - aye! aye! aye! The PRI back four were both solid and feisty (almost fighting with each other at one point!) and know how to get the job done. Even if The Reds can sneak one by the defenders, keeper Bill Gaudette is very capable and likely headed back to MLS soon. We may not see them all night but any offense will likely come from Caribbean forwards Kendall Jagdeosingh and Nicholas Addlery.

TORONTO FC (CCL) 0-0-1 (0GF / 1GA)
Toronto FC have been an enigma all year long. You never know from one match to the next what to expect. "Strike early and strike often" should be the mantra being drilled into the players' heads as they acclimatize themselves to Puerto Rico. There will be no time to settle into a rhythm in this match and TFC will have to come out firing on all cylinders. Chris Cummins will hopefully be able to find a way of getting Ali Gerba more involved as success depends on the strikers doing what they are paid for. If he starts Chad Barrett again, they get what they deserve. Amado Guevara and Nana Attakora are still questionable and Adrian Serioux is sore but it will likely take wild Puerto Rican horses to keep him off the field. Where would this team be without Scarborough? TFC needs a 1-0 scoreline to send it to ET and a +2 score to win it. If they do go up by two they cannot have a 2nd half nap as per usual - Islanders will catch them if they do. Let's make a deal, if they manage to win the match and the preliminary, don't call it a "miracle", call it "what is expected".

Match Preview: New England And Some Old England Too

NEW ENGLAND REVOLUTION VS. TORONTO FC

Gillette Stadium ("The Best a Man Can Get") - Saturday 7:30PM EST

TV: GOL-TV

Personally, I'm partial to the old version of England. New England... it's like New Coke. Travel tips aside, it's time for The Reds to once again invade Boston (see what I did there?) as TFC take on The Revolution. A key matchup with major playoff implications against a team who is trudging through mediocrity much like Toronto. The Revs should really be a major rival to TFC but its never really felt that way. Oh well - TEA PARTY!!!

NEW ENGLAND REVS -6-5-5 23 pts - 5 in EAST (11th Overall)

The Revs have had a slow start to the season much to the chagrin of manager Steve Nichol who is truly one of MLS's all-time great managers. They have managed to steer the ship in the right direction lately and are in the midst of a streak that has seen them not allow a goal in 352 minutes. That's 3 shutouts for the solid GK Matt Reis and a strong showing for the back four. TFC might catch a break as NER has caught the injury bug and will be without offensive force Taylor Twellman who has concussion isssues as well as a possible miss for talented MF Shalrie Joseph. Without those two, the Revs may very well depend on that scoreless streak.

TORONTO FC -7-5-7 26 pts - 4th in EAST (9th Overall)

So far, the week that could "make or break" TFC's season is breaking - and not in a cool Electric Boogaloo way. Losses to Columbus and the dreadful mess against Puerto Rico have exposed big holes in Toronto's defence and offence. Oh, and the midfield and goalkeeping are shaky too. So...no major worries then. Chris Cummins must find a way of making Ali Gerba the hitman for this team and pick an offensive strategy once and for all. If not, the mid-season wall is going to make us East Berlin. Attakora, Serioux and Guevara will all be game day decisions. Julian De Guzman will not be dressing for the Reds - until he is 33 years old.

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In an aside from the silliness that is this site sometimes, The Yorkies would like to briefly make note and honour the passing of Sir Bobby Robson. The great manager was a true giant of football and passed away at the age of 76 after a lengthy battle with cancer.

------------------------Sir Bobby Robson 1933-2009 RIP

Match Preview: "The New Soft Derby"

COLUMBUS CREW VS. TORONTO FC
Crew Stadium - Saturday 7:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet Ontario -- Radio: The Fan 590

If you gave non-partisan football fans the chance to see one derby in the world, many would choose "The Old Firm" derby of Glasgow. Columbus Crew vs. Toronto FC would rank a little bit lower. Sometime after TFC's first season, MLS' brain trust and others decided that Columbus and Toronto would make convenient rivals. The Trillium Cup (not exactly pictured above) was invented for the two clubs to "compete" for and it now ranks slightly higher in relevance to the Carlsberg Cup. Making a non-local derby from scratch isn't as easy as inventing a trophy.

Things changed however after that fateful home opener in 2008 when TFC's supporters invaded Crew Stadium in very large numbers. The previously unseen display (in MLS at least) rightfully put Crew supporters’ noses out of joint but did seem to unite them for the first time. Their biased opinions about all things Toronto wouldn't agree, but their support has been much better since. The matches between the two clubs are hard-nosed and away support (except this weekend!) on both sides has become regular.

The rivalry's true tipping point may be coming soon though. If Toronto can get past Puerto Rico in the CONCACAF Champion's League preliminary, they will be grouped with none other than the Crew. Those kind of matches, not fabricated floral-named trophies, are what creates true rivalries. Not quite Glasgow yet but "The New Soft" may be ready to evolve.

COLUMBUS CREW: 6-9-3 27 pts - 3rd in EAST (6th Overall)
Not much can be said about Columbus Crew without mentioning talisman Guillermo Barros Schelotto. The talented Argentine/ 80's rock star look-alike who enjoys being horizontal on grass, is putting up MVP numbers again but could very well miss this game due to a nagging hamstring injury. Crew have decent depth though and will look to young forward Steven Lenhart to pick up the slack. He will be easy to notice as he looks like Scott Baio's friend "Buddy" on Charles In Charge. The Ohio Players are coming off a 3-1 win over RSL and have not been beaten at home in an astounding 18 matches. If that's not enough of an advantage they just met President Barack "West Ham" Obama at the White House and mascot Crew Cat was just successfully de-wormed. "Yes We Cat"

TORONTO FC: 7-5-6 26 pts - 4th in EAST (8th Overall)
The Reds have a lot on their minds right now. The devastation over the Carlsberg Cup loss to River Plate will still be fresh in their minds - oh the humility! What may actually take their eye of the yellow though is the impending CCL preliminary with Puerto Rico next week. The match against the Islanders is arguably the most important in the club's young history and manager Chris Cummins will have to get the lads to focus on the task at hand. TFC are coming off a tepid 1-1 draw at home against Houston but will have Ali Gerba and his mini ZZ-Top-esque beard at their disposal. O'Brian White may or may not make an appearance based on his fitness while Adrian Serioux will test out his knee before the match. Young defensive stand-out Nana Attakora will not travel with the club due to a hamstring, not good news for a club who have yet to beat Columbus anywhere...in two and a half years.

Match Preview: Enter...Dynamo!

TORONTO FC VS. HOUSTON DYNAMO
BMO Field - Saturday 1:00PM EST
TV: CBC

Not quite as frightening as The Running Man (see above picture) but the mighty Houston Dynamo, or Dynamo Hustyn as they are called in the Ukraine, come to town with the best record in MLS. The Reds finally return to BMO after a road trip with mixed results but with a record that puts them in the upper half of the league. Last time the two clubs met, Dynamo laid down an electrifying beating scoring 3 goals to TFC's 0 only for The Reds to be then shot down a tunnel in a bobsled and hunted by vicious killers including Jesse Ventura! Wait, I may still be mixing football and The Running Man. Is Richard Dawson manager of Houston?

TORONTO FC: 7-4-6 25 pts - 2nd in East (6th Overall)
TFC is fresh off a solid win against minnows San Jose and are sniffing around first in the East. They will need a much better performance than they put on in Houston earlier in the year if they have any hope of points. Slight possibility that first round draft pick and Scarborough Massive newcomer O'Brian White could make his long awaited debut but no other injury concerns exist. Sam Cronin and Ali Gerba are still away with USA and Canada respectively at the Gold Cup, with Gerba hopefully netting a couple past Honduras later on Saturday. TFC are still without De Guzman, Figo, Zidane, Pele and the ghost of Ferenc Puskas.

HOUSTON DYNAMO: 9-4-4 31 pts - 1st in West (1st Overall)
It's fair to say that the big orange machine are the best MLS club over the last 3 years. They have found their form this year but have sputtered a bit in the last 5 matches. Dynamo have been hard hit by Gold Cup call-ups with their two best players Brian "Twitter Fine" Ching and Stuart Holden off with USA. With 9 goals between them, its quite a power shortage for Houston. The Texan Tangerines will have to look to Kei Kamera to pick up the slack. Brief ex-TFC defender Richard "The Prime Minister" Mulrooney is out of action with injury and Pierre Trudeau is suspended for sexy cravat wearing. Richard Dawson is no longer manager. "Who loves you and who do you love?!"

Match Preview: Saturday Night's Main Event: The Mighty Earthquake

SAN JOSE EARTHQUAKES VS. TORONTO FC
Buck Shaw Stadium - Saturday 10:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportsnet / Radio: The Fan590

Toronto enters the unofficial second half of the season with a trip to Northern California. If TFC can break its away form hoodoo it would have to be in the old 1970's stomping grounds of Georgie Best. That being said, the ghost of Best wouldn't be caught undead at the glorified high school field that is Buck Shaw Stadium. Lots of new stadium plans were promised when San Jose was "re-franchised" a couple of years ago but not a shovel has been seen. Why this town keeps getting football teams beats me. If TFC can't beat them though, the rest of the road trip only gets worse.

TORONTO FC: 6-4-6 22 pts - 4th in East (7th Overall)
The Reds are coming off one of their most miserable losses, a truly dire 3-0 loss to Real Salt Lake two weeks ago. Hopefully a fortnight's rest and the California sun will rejuvenate the lads and see them play more than 15 minutes of football. There was a concern that leading goal scorer and assist man Amado Guevara would be out due to political conflict but the midfielder managed to escape his native Honduras like a young Rambo III. Sam Cronin is away on Gold Cup duty and defender Nick Garcia may miss a chance to tackle ex-teammate Darren Huckerby with a slight groin pull. Dirty dog.

SAN JOSE EARTQUAKES: 3-4-8 13 pts - 8th in West (13th Overall)
The Tremors (not their real nickname but what a great movie!) are having a tough sophomore season and find themselves floundering near the bottom of MLS. There is quality in that there Silicon Valley though. Huckerby and former Reading man Bobby Convey are still top quality and one gets the feeling that this team isn't quite as bad as their record. They are also strong in goal since acquiring goalkeeper/ adult film star Joe Cannon...ladies! No football fan in Canada can ignore the fact that the Quakes manager is still Frank Yallop. The poor record in San Jose has whispers circling about his future but he was still the best Canadian National coach (despite being cut off at the knees by the CSA) and many Reds' supporters would love to hand the former Ipswich man the keys to TFC's garage. Now if Toronto can just defend against George Best's ghost. "Bustin' makes me feel good!"

Match Preview: Gosh Your Lake Is Salty!

REAL SALT LAKE VS. TORONTO FC
Rio Tinto Stadium - Saturday 9:30PM EST
TV: Rogers Sportnet / RADIO: The Fan590

Toronto move into a new stage of the season that sees them spending far too much time on the road for any supporters' liking. That's some top level scheduling Mr. Garber. Remind me why MLS has credibility issues again? Either way, TFC look to pick up three points and a couple of wives each when they visit Utah on Saturday.

This will be TFC's first visit to the very impressive Rio Tinto Stadium, one of MLS's finest grounds. The Red's have had some minor success in Utah but run into a team who are also unbeaten in three. The wacky altitude and those crazed Mormon football hooligans makes this one a prospective tough night for Toronto... and monogamy.

TORONTO FC: 6-4-5 22 pts - 2nd in East (5th Overall)
TFC are still riding the Canadian Cup wave and are fresh of a very solid 2-0 win against NYRB in midweek. Marvell Wynne is still away with the high flying USA at the Confederations Cup while Guevara and Serioux are tender but should play. Luckily for TFC, Rohan Ricketts and Kevin Harmse are still no longer with the team. No word if Ricketts will beat the stadium stalking his former club.

REAL SALT LAKE: 4-4-6 16pts - 5th in West (10th Overall)
RSL's leading scorer Robbie Findlay (6G 2A) is listed as questionable, possibly from Osmond-related injuries. The Saltys are fresh off a hard fought 1-1 draw with league leading Houston. However, morale is apparently low in the RSL clubhouse after players realized that unlike Real Madrid, their club isn't really royally sanctioned. They are are not therefore real Real. The so-called King Of Utah who anointed the team was actually just Karl "Mailman" Malone wearing a Burger King crown. John Stockton prefers Arby's. Gross.

Match Preview: Red Bulls 2: Electric Boogaloo

TORONTO FC VS. NEW YORK RED BULLS
BMO Field - Wednesday 7:30 PM - TV: GOLTV

Surely, the tepid Energy Drinkers who were here at BMO a week and a half ago can't return. TFC grabbed a 2-1 win in that re-scheduled affair which causes us to play the same team at home twice in a row. Take that Sepp Blatter - this is North America biatch! We like our games in summer and our fixtures f**ked up!

New York have been awful this year and every game without 3 points is one step closer to NYRB manager Juan Carlos Osorio getting the old Manhattan Hot Dog treatment. TFC is fresh off their Canadian Championship win in Montreal and look to keep the momentum going in league play and show off their new trophy.

TORONTO FC: 5-5-4 19 pts - 5th in East (9th Overall)
The Reds may be without Amado Guevara and Adrian Serioux who are nursing minor injuries, they will also be without Frank Ribery who doesn't play for them. Currently national footballing heroes -possibly hungover.

NEW YORK RED BULLS: 2-10-4 10 pts - 7th in East (15th Overall)
Red Bulls are coming off a 1-1 draw with Seattle. The always dangerous Juan Pablo Angel leads the team with 5 goals. NYRB are trying their hardest to clinch the #1 Draft Pick and move into their new stadium next year with the lowest possible expectations. Have you seen Harrison, New Jersey? Have you seen Escape From New York? Same. Fact: New York Red Bulls have never been Canadian Champions. Suck it Nu-Cosmos!