THE MATCHUP: “SIXual Release”

"Yes we've got that feelin'..."

COLUMBUS VS. TORONTO
　
CREW STADIUM - SUNDAY 4PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
It wasn't supposed to end this way... but now we're just thankful it's ending. Toronto FC's agonizing 2012 comes to an end eight months after it began with such promise that we had branded it "SIXual Healing". However, that Dutch Viagra didn't really work very well and instead of dynamic virility we ended up as an old eccentric man running around in short pants yelling at the kids on our lawn. Now it's just time for a long nap.
　
Before our winter (the season not the man) sojourn, there is one last fixture and what better match to highlight the Reds' impotence than the opposite of "Old Firm" - the "New Soft" derby versus Columbus Crew? What could be more fitting than one last punch in the head from a club we used to so smarmingly mock? After the match, the tired clichés of "the work starts now for 2013" will be trotted out. Considering the first project was scuppered by a USL coach turning down big money and a "Major League" job title - it may be a long off-season. Alas, we leave Paul Mariner & Co. with the words of 20th Century poet and musician Rupert Paul III... "You. Better. Work."
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The New Soft"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
COLUMBUS: Eddie Gaven, Federico Higuain, Chad Marshall
TORONTO: Terry Dunfield, Ryan Johnson, Luis Silva
　
THE ODDS:
When we tried to brand 2012 in the pre-season as "SIXual Healing", no one knew how poorly it would all go. TFC now has to scramble for a new title to adorn their 2012 Highlights Video. Their choices are down to:
- "SIXual Dysfunction": 10-1
- "SIXually Frustrated": 5-1
- "SIXual Harassment": - 2-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
And now, for our lucky readers we present the full 2012 Toronto FC Highlight Video package. Sit back, relax and enjoy all of this season's exciting and successful moments set to a hot club beat! Ladies and gentlemen... "SIXual Dysfunction: TFC 2012"...

　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE: "TFC LOCKER ROOM IN CRISIS – HEAD COACH JIM BRENNAN CLAIMS ‘NOTHING IS WRONG’…"
(Oh sorry, this is the post-match headline from October 28, 2013)

If he goes will there be trouble? If he stays will it be double?

The Winter and his discontent



Make no mistake, Wednesday evening's victory over Montreal was a much needed breathe of fresh air for Toronto FC and their long-suffering supporters. Beyond the win and progression to the Canadian Championship finals, simply being entertained and having a bit of the old "BMO Field atmosphere" return was nice. However, far from being the instant solution or reprieve for Aron Winter's management regime, the result has caused many to ponder... "What now"?
　
Obviously there are only two paths that can be followed. Does the club take the win as a sign that things have finally clicked and give the Dutchman and his team their full backing? Or, if results in the near future do not follow Wednesday's trend, does MLSE pull the plug on Winter's big experiment and start anew... again. At this moment there isn't a clear answer. Many TFC supporters want to see the affable manager make this work while an equal number are tired of waiting while he stubbornly pushes his vision without bending. No matter what decision is made, there will be good and bad to it.
　
ARON WINTER IS BACKED
　
BEST CASE SCENARIO:
- Wednesday night was not a fluke and the club continues to display the same type of desire, determination and skill-set within the system and pushes on positively
- TFC, while distant long-shots for the playoffs already, make some noise in the league for the rest of 2012 as spoilers, win the Canadian Championship and return some of the excitement to BMO Field that has been absent for most of the season
- Winter and the management team use the summer transfer window to bolster the line-up and fill in the holes where he feels they need a talent upgrade
- The ownership finally shows fans the patience to see through a grand re-building program to its finish and the wisdom to not meddle or put up roadblocks to Winter's requests for further transactions
- As laid out by Winter and his team on their 2011 arrival, the third season of his plan is where all of the pieces finally come together and his vision bears fruit
　
WORST CASE SCENARIO:
- The team falls back into old habits quickly and their slide into MLS infamy becomes near-farcical while Winter drifts through season with plummeting support
- Paul Mariner becomes even less involved with Winter's vision and his role becomes alarmingly diminished to the point of possible departure from club
- Winter's uncertain future makes him a "lame-duck" manager in the ownership's eyes and his flexibility during the summer transfer window is stunted
- Involvement from the club's "backroom" becomes more prominent creating a split in the club between those that back Winter's vision and those "company men" who would rather return to the tested waters of a SuperDraft-built "North American" style
- TFC stutters into oblivion through the summer months leaving BMO Field with close to 50% capacity for many matches later in the season and 2013 Season Ticket sales taking a sharp drop
　
ARON WINTER IS SACKED
　
BEST CASE SCENARIO:
- Without delay, a very competent and tested duo of Paul Mariner as Director and Steve Nicol as Manager (or a similar proven combo) are put into place and given complete control of football operations
- The installation of a more basic push-and-run formation manages to get results from the existing squad
- Making a complete clean sweep prior to the summer transfer window allows the new management team to begin adjusting the squad to fit their style
- The new management uses the remainder of the 2012 season to prepare for the off-season and into 2013 without pause
- Ownership looks proactive if the correct move is made and manages to salvage some hope for better times ahead
　
WORST CASE SCENARIO:
- Ownership takes the lazy and economic route by installing an existing employee such as Thomas Rongen as a caretaker manager before holding one of their infamous off-season "exhaustive searches" which ends in the pandering installation of "Canadian GM" Earl Cochrane and "legendary" manager Danny Dichio
- Whatever management team is chosen still being unable to steady the ship and forcing supporters to realize that the rot is so deeply set that long-term improvement is unlikely
- Entering the off-season with no plan and no vision leading to moves akin to Nathan Sturgis for a 1st Round Draft Pick
- MLSE's inept "old boy" network gaining full control over football operations sending the club careening into a spiral that is dominated by pathetic promotional campaigns over any real substantial football decision-making
- A real and lasting damage caused to what remains of the loyal fan-base when they are faced with yet another "re-building" process.
　
No easy answers then, despite what side of the fence you currently stand on. Who wouldn't really want to see the gentleman scholar that is Aron Winter succeed in Toronto? Finding those that dislike him for reasons apart from the club's record is near impossible. However, everyone knows where nice guys finish and if the desire for change is present in the backrooms of MLSE, then sadly there is no time like the present. Whatever decision is made, the ownership needs to make it, get out of the way and accept responsibility for its result.
　
And now (since it's Friday despite the week off) the best thing to play a New York stadium since.... Alessandro Nesta?

Ecks'ual release

"Kiss me, I'm orange!"



We promised we wouldn't talk about this godforsaken story anymore until there was confirmation - but we are renowned liars... and desperate for some news. With that, there is movement afoot on the most protracted TFC transfer saga of the off-season, Richard Eckersley aka "The Ginger Affair".
　
Straight from the horse's mouth, if Burnley FC is a horse... which is arguable... and actually from the horse's website... Richard Eckersley, the Toronto FC fan favourite (and local superhero "The GingaNinja)" has had his contract cancelled by the English club. With 18 months left on his contract with The Clarets, Eckersley and the Championship side parted ways today by mutual consent.
　
This move of course allows Eckersley to negotiate a new contract with the club of his choice and we may be crazy but it's looking like TFC. Just a hunch. Unless some other club tries to Ginger-Block us! Keep your hands off our Ginge... looking at you Scunthorpe... filthy buggers. Anyhoo... it looks like we may have some official news about Eckersley's signing by The Reds in the very near future as SIXual Healing continues to shape up. When The Artful Mariner does end up "putting some Ginge around it", we will cover it here.

LETTERS FROM CAMP: "Pitching a tent for Training Camp 2012"



The counsellors are back with their "campy" Dutch accents and the campers are arriving one-by-one at the big campsite by the lake. The weather forecast is looking a lot calmer than it was one year ago - but anything can happen at camp. Especially if that new camp up the river, "Le Camp Impact du Fromage", challenges us to a winner-take-all canoe race! Shenanigans!
　
Yes, camp can be a crazy place and somewhere between medicals, s'mores, ACL injuries, waterslides and TyHardenning (it's a thing) - the news can slip through the cracks. So, for our readers who can't sit around the fire waiting for the latest tidbit about Camp TeeEffCee, our regular "Letters From Camp" feature will keep you up to date without having to use your flashlight. Now... where's my red Speedo - I wanna go TyHardenning!
　
WELCOME BACK, WINTER
Not too many Boom Booms or Vinnies, but still a few Horshacks left over, as The Reds made their way to BMO Field over the last couple of days. With the usual TFC secrecy act, supporters were only shown a selected few arrivals - a mixture of last season’s veterans looking a bit winter (not Winter) weary and excited draft picks. Of course supporters are a little more curious about who wasn't shown on camera as the quest to learn the names of invited trialists and potential signings grows needier on a daily basis.
　
SAY CHEESE! (BUT NOT SAPUTO BRAND CHEESE)
As mentioned above, there was little in the way of video from Monday and Tuesday's arrivals with the public domain's media being kept at arm's length. The club says that it wants to get its administrative duties in order first but it could also have to do with knowing exactly who will be at BMO Field for camp before releasing the press horde. Either way, the official Training Camp Media Day is scheduled for tomorrow where we will be treated to the finest clichés, inspirational quotes and Dutch humour that the salary cap allows.
　
HAPPY CAMPERS
It was interesting to read Paul Mariner's interview with MLSsoccer.com about the state of TFC camp this year as opposed to last year's. Framing the two camps as "night and day", The Director of Development/Fifth Beatle described the state of TFC 2011 as "an organizational nightmare". While far too classy a gent to say what we were all thinking - that four years under Mo Johnston's MLSE-approved "masterplan" left the club a disaster zone - it's not hard to imagine the mess that the management faced due to previous bungling. It was very amusing that the media boffins at TFC decided to run with the article as "a feel good piece" almost as if that "old club" had nothing to do with them. They have surely heard of irony, no? Maybe this was there way of saying sorry? They are so demure. Oh well - pencils and erasers and all that!
　
WHATS MISSING IN THE -EFENCE?
The "D"! Well done children! The glaring lack of depth in TFC's backline is the most obvious hole on Day One of "SIXual Healing". As of writing - the best starting back four The Reds could field is something like Stinson-Harden-Henry-Morgan. That giggling you hear is Bruce Arena. However, if mountains of blog articles (why thank you), Tweets on the Twitter Machine and media speculation have anything to say about it - help is on the way. Today, the reliable Kurt Larson writes that Richard Eckersley is OFFICIALLY (all caps makes it for realz) cutting ties with Burnley making a permanent switch to TFC open. This is the news all TFC supporters have anxiously awaited along with the very regularly rumoured (often by themselves) signings of South American defensive duo Miguel "Ace" Aceval of Chile and Ecuadorian Geovanny "The Spoon" Caiceda. His nickname not ours... obviously. If it all falls flat... TyHardenning!!!
　
#OCCUPYTICKETMASTER
We've been hearing lots of chirps and whispers from excited bean counters on Bay St. that the attendance for the big CCL match at SkyDome is already around 40K and headed for a sell-out. Will this actually translate into 45K bums avec 45K seats? Maybe not. A good chunk of those seats are in the hands of sponsors and various hangers-on in TFC's orbit and could end up going unused. Of course there is always the age old question of how many tickets are in the hands of scalpers but we likely won't know the result until that evening in March. Well... at least at the 30 minute mark when most Torontonians arrive for a football match.

Yourass is grass

It's how he'd want to be remembered



The man who filled the coveted "Supervillain" role after Maxim Usanov left town has been unceremoniously dispatched himself. Without having to sabotage a giant laser, use a submarine Lotus or rake any moons, TFC waived Mikael Yourassowsky from the roster.
　
With only days remaining before SIXual Healing's training camp opens, the move to release the rambunctious Belgian is hardly a surprise. Yourassowsky was far more fun to say than watch, with his penchant for rather cheap dives and habit of collecting reckless fouls. With a midrange salary and a valuable international roster spot, Yourass has been an endangered species since rumours of South American defenders and returning Gingers began hotting up.
　
Despite the value of playing multiple positions and his single valuable goal in the NutCan, TFC's off-season roster moves (as well as the rumoured additions) will have dropped Yourassowsky far too down the depth chart to justify his expense. Instead, the wandering winger will go down as a TFC footnote - one of those early Aron Winter transition players along with Javier Martina, Alan Gordon and Alen Stevanovic who have come and gone. At least he can get back to work on that giant laser.

Dutch pancakes and links

"Mmm - you can barely taste the clog!"



Toronto FC got the SIXual Healing bandwagon / promotional tour on track today with a breakfast event for season ticket holders in Downtown Toronto. The second year manager Aron Winter held court and was joined by players Danny Koevermans, Stefan Frei and Ashtone Morgan. While the questions from TFC TV's Dan Dunleavy were mostly of the softball variety, some actual news was broken oven the sounds of chewing pannekoek.

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE TICKETS:
TFC Director of Business Operations Paul Beirne joined Winter on stage to announce the imminent sale of tickets for the CCL Quarterfinal match against LA Galaxy at SkyDome. The price range will vary wildly from a respectably low $12 to a far too ambitious $69 per seat. Hopefully the lion's share of the tickets will be closer to the $12 dollar range, otherwise the dream of 50,000 attendance (no matter how many times Dunleavy promised that to the players) will be a near impossibilty.

THE RONGEN GUY TO LEAD ACADEMY:
Quite a coup for the club was made today as Winter announced that former USA U-20 coach Thomas Rongen will be the new TFC Academy Director. Amsterdam-native (surprise!) Rongen started his career with Ajax but spent the majority of his pro footballing life bouncing around the wacky world of North American "soccer" in the 80's. His most recent job was as manager of the official "Worst Team in FIFA" American Samoa. However, under Rongen, the American Samoans recorded their first ever international victory with a rag-tag line-up that included a transgendered defender! So that helps in recruitment.

SYRUP ON TOP
The rest of the Q & A went as expected with Winter & Co. lobbing the expected answers to Dunleavy (when he wasn't promising "50,000 screaming fans at Rogers Centre).  Most promising was the continued assertion by Winter that Plata and Eckersley are "99%" likely to return. Now we can all just hope that SIXual Healing's mid-season lunch and post-season dinner events are as promising as today's.

Watch the entire TFC breakfast Q & A here...
For fun - do a shot of syrup everytime they say "50,000 fans"

Then watch this sexy Dutch clip...

TFC 2012 TBA no more

Twice to Montreal? That's handy.

Taking time from their busy schedule of designing dodgy new kits with blasphemous monochromatic badges, only being rumoured to actually sign players and wetting themselves over the possibility of David Beckham's extended stay with LA Galaxy, TFC today released the official 2012 schedule via Major League Soccer. Plan your lives accordingly to the unbalanced mess of a fixture list here.

While there are only minor changes from the leaked version of the schedule that went online a few days ago, the official version does have kick-off times so your drinking can now be planned in advance. Apart from that, we now get a little less Red Bull and a bit more Sporting but are still without a visit from Western Conference giants LA Galaxy, Seattle or Real Salt Lake. Someone at MLS headquarters obviously still believes we can sell out games no matter what. Alas, SIXual Healing now has shape.

Circles... meet calendars. Leaked 2012 TFC schedule plans your year

You can never find FC Dallas on these damn Mayan calendars!



Considering it's apparently our last year on the planet, people are surprisingly making plans for the next few months. According to the good and diligent folks over at the great Canadian Soccer News - this includes Toronto FC. With Major League Soccer preparing to officially release the schedules soon, a leaked version of SIXual Healing has found it's way online. Weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, bar mitzvahs, holy communions and various Pagan rituals? Read this and weep.
　
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2011/12
Mar. 7, 2012 vs LA Galaxy CONCACAF Quarter Final
Mar. 14, 2012 at LA Galaxy CONCACAF Quarter Final
March 27-29, 2012 CONCACAF Semi Final
April 3-5, 2012 CONCACAF Semi Final
April 17-19, 2012 CONCACAF Finals
April 24-26, 2012 CONCACAF Finals
　
VOYAGEURS CUP
May 9 Canadian Championship
May 16 Canadian Championship
May 23 Canadian Championship
　
CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE 2012/13
July 24-26 CONCACAF Champions League
July 31- Aug. 2 CONCACAF Champions League
Aug. 21-23 CONCACAF Champions League
Aug. 28-30 CONCACAF Champions League
Sept. 18-20 CONCACAF Champions League
Sept. 25-27 CONCACAF Champions League
Oct. 2-4 CONCACAF Champions League
Oct. 23-25 CONCACAF Champions League
　
MLS LEAGUE FIXTURES
Mar. 17, 2012 at Seattle Sounders
Mar. 24, 2012 vs San Jose Earthquake
Mar. 31, 2012 vs Columbus Crew
Apr. 7, 2012 at Montreal Impact
Apr. 14, 2012 vs Chivas USA
Apr. 21, 2012 vs Chicago Fire
Apr. 28, 2012 at Real Salt Lake
May 5, 2012 vs DC United
May 12, 2012 vs Portland Timbers
May 19, 2012 at DC United
May 26, 2012 vs Philadelphia Union
June 16, 2012 at New York Red Bull
June 20, 2012 at Houston Dynamo
June 23, 2012 vs New England Revolution
June 27, 2012 at Montreal Impact
June 30, 2012 vs New York Red Bull
July 4, 2012 at FC Dallas
July 7, 2012 at Philadelphia Union
July 14, 2012 at New England Revolution
July 18, 2012 vs Colorado Rapids
July 21, 2012 vs Chicago Fire
July 28, 2012 vs Houston Dynamo
Aug. 4, 2012 at Chicago Fire
Aug. 8, 2012 vs Vancouver Whitecaps
Aug. 11, 2012 at Columbus Crew
Aug. 18, 2012 at Sporting Kansas City
Aug. 25, 2012 at Houston Dynamo
Sept. 1, 2012 at Sporting Kansas City
Sept. 15, 2012 vs Philadelphia Union
Sept. 22, 2012 at Los Angeles Galaxy
Sept. 29, 2012 at New York Red Bull
Oct. 6, 2012 vs DC United
Oct. 20, 2012 vs Montreal Impact
Oct. 27, 2012 at Columbus Crew
　
Phew. So there. All that before those wacky Mayans get down to their voodoo magic. There are literally months to stew over this chronological jazz. but at first glance some parts of Dong Grabber's redonkulous imbalanced schedule that stand out include:
- a tough season opener at a very difficult Seattle
- a chilly home opener to the Quakes and George Best's frozen ghost
- the inaugural "401 Derby" against Montreal on April 7 and a second chance to use elementary school French on June 27
- a mere six MLS home fixtures during June, July and August
- no TFC visit to Vancouver and no Toronto visit for LA Galaxy (shocker)
- ending the season with two potentially explosive matches against our rival Montreal and our secondary "rival" Columbus
- all fixtures complete before scheduled end of the world

#YoungRedsReleased

"From this day on - we will only play on Twitter"



The post-season tinkering, or SIXual Healing preparation - depending on your view of time and space, is under way at BMO Field. While still awaiting official word from the club, two young Reds, Matt Gold and Demitrius Omphroy, took to their media of choice - Twitter - to announce that their days in Toronto were done.
　
Both players were part of TFC's 2011 SuperDraft crop, a series of player selections which were made in the infancy of the new Winter/Mariner management era. Of the entire draft selection, only Joao Plata emerged as a player with any real value for Aron Winter... and he's not even fully TFC property yet. Whether this is the first step in illuminating Toronto's move away from the Draft while putting all of their development in the Academy basket remains to be seen but the collegiate selection is a very foreign object in the Ajax-esque structure being installed around these parts.
　
Neither Omphroy nor Gold had many opportunities outside of the Reserve League to prove their talents in TFC red. Omphroy, the brave young man who battles MS while pursuing his football dream, seemed to have the technical skills that a Winter team could use but perhaps lacked the physicality needed to survive the rough and tumble MLS world. Matt Gold, "The Ginger Un-Ninja", did see some garbage minutes over 2011 but would have been completely invisible if not for his shock of copper hair and freckles.

Both players may be able to carve NASL careers for themselves with Omphroy still having an outside chance at an MLS stint. If not, there's always the Pro Twitter League, where these two would be Maradona and Pele. #goodlucklads

THE STARTING 11: Rejected Toronto FC taglines for the 2012 season

"Tick-tock, The Reds won't stop"



Over the last few years MLSE has marketed their seasons with cute little taglines, often incorporating the season's numerical value within it. For example - "fOUR Season" and "Season fIVe" have been used over the last few years. Here at The Yorkies we have already branded next season as "SIXual Healing" of course, but that didn't stop the boffins on Bay Street from trying out a few of their own for TFC's sixth kick at the can...
　
11. "Year IV in a V Year Plan"
　
10. "We're Gonna Make You Six"
　
9. "Six Feet Under"
　
8. "Sheashon Shixsh" (Bob de Klerk's idea)
　
7. "The Dirty Half-Dozen"
　
6. "Do You Think We're Sixy?"
　
5. "2012 Angry Men"
　
4. "A Full Order of Frings"
　
3. "We Wanna Six You Up"
　
2. "Soolsma II: Electric Boogaloo"
　
1. "Sixy Times!"



Yes, we know Rod Stewart sang this but Tom Jones doing it is WAY funnier. Plus Tom Jones is Welsh. Carl Robinson is also Welsh. We miss Carl Robinson. Jeez why all the questions?

Hi Carl if you're reading.

THE MATCHUP: Ready for SIXual Healing

"Let's get it on, you Reds!"



TORONTO (16TH) VS. NEW ENGLAND (18TH)
　
BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 12:30PM EDT
TV: TSN RADIO: FAN 590
　
THE KICKABOUT:
After Tuesday night's potentially club-changing win in Champions League, Toronto FC finds itself basking in a rare glow as the season comes to an end. The atmosphere around this meaningless match could have been dull and rather miserable but instead, TFC fans are suddenly looking to brighter days ahead. Next season now looks like it could indeed be one of "SIXual Healing". With a year of rebuilding under their belts, Aron Winter & Co. will now have to deliver bigger and better in 2012.
　
The season-ending tilt against New England gives Reds' support one last farewell to the club until the CONCACAF Champions League Quarterfinal in March, as well as a rare opportunity to look down at a club worse off than Toronto. New England has had a horrendous campaign and sits in the "wooden spoon" position coming in to Saturday's match. A TFC victory would cement The Revs in last while doing a solid for Vancouver who are no doubt whining over our CCL victory. Either way, the last match of 2011 feels like a goodbye to not just this season, but the four previous as well.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "The Table Legger"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Eric Avila, Danny Koevermans, Joao Plata
NEW ENGLAND: Benny Feilhaber, Shalrie Joseph, Kenny Mansally
　
THE ODDS:
- TFC fans partying like its 1999 2007: 3-1
- "There's always next year" said without irony: 5-1
- Watching New England and realizing things could be worse: 10-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
With the sudden onset of ambitious feelings towards the club's sixth season, we have taken up the cause to brand 2012. The club has trotted our 'fOUR Season" and "Season fiVe" recently but in the spirit of giving back to us long suffering supporters, we urge the club to use the moniker "SIXual Healing" for 2012. If they need more persuading, here's a chant for us all to sing in the key of Marvin Gaye...
　
"Get up, get up, get up, get up
Let's go Reds tonight
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
'Cos the time right"
　
"Now that we're done rebuilding
We want SIXual Healing
SIX-ual Healing, baby!"
　
THE WAGER: 1-0 Toronto (2011: 23-23 with 7 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "2012? LET'S GET IT ON"

Now... to get you in the mood...

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC Philadelphia match preparations

Pictured: Fresh Prince (R), unnamed jazz musician (L)



With Major League Soccer's 2011 regular season winding down, TFC's players can look forward to the end of long pre-match preparations and training. However, before they can plan their holidays and look ahead to the 2012 Season (aka "SIXual Healing) their final MLS away match is on the horizon. A weekend trip to second-year, high-flying (don't get us started) Philadelphia Union. Philly is always a tough town for a visiting club in any sport and takes some special preparedness if you hope to steal a victory. How are The Reds getting ready?... "Yo homes to Chest-er!"
　
11. Blasting free kicks at Santa Claus
　
10. Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool
　
9. Aron Winter will row the club to the match across the Delaware River in a powdered wig
　
8. Shooting some b-ball outside of the school
　
7. Bob de Klerk sings Duran Duran's "Union of the Snake" during every team meal
　
6. Getting in one little fight - scaring moms
　
5. Making Ty Harden dress as the Philly Phanatic
　
4. Moving with aunties and uncles in Bel-Air
　
3. Running furiously on treadmill with delicious cheesesteak dangling just out of reach
　
2. Pulling up to their houses around seven or eight - yelling at cabbie "Yo homes smell ya later!"
　
1. Watching Rocky III - running along Cherry Beach in slow-motion with Carl Weathers

Wow, de Klerk was a real looker back in '84!

Town Hall & Oates - You're Out Of Touch

---The two on the left got it way worse than the four on the right

Not exactly a full house, I rushed over for the first pantomime session in hopes someone hit'em hard.

Someone did.

Pre-talkie time, I overheard Mr Anselmi discuss about how "the Champions League is the best" and he "doesn't get it" why attendance is poor. Here's why in a nutshell - the people who care about seeing the Panamanian champs or the El Salvadorian champs live in Panama and El Salvador. Pumas doesn't capture the imagination. Neither does Real Salt Lake. Ever.

Winter was handed the microphone and started talking about fishing. Then I realized that English v's are Dutch f's and decrypted that he was saying "vision". I'm too tired to be doing this...

I didn't document everything, but enough.

1) Asked about the youth team and tried to get an answer regarding how many of the youth players are legitimate full-squad members, injuries notwithstanding and how many youthies do they see coming through next year? Too many questions and only the last one was addressed, being one or two kids could break through. Shame.

2) Then a gentleman from the back took the mic and laid it all out.

Season one was full of highs and lows, but there was a definite hope in the air. We didn't make the play-offs, but there was a sense of camaraderie between the front-office, the field and the fans, essentially we were all in this together.

The next three seasons, TFC continued to struggle on the field, but the real losing attitude was happening off the field. As a fan I, I started to turn to MLSE as the source of my frustration.