The South Stand Report : TFC v CD Motagua... or domo arigato Mr. Amado.

I love a cup tie. Seriously. I love it. I love the upsets. I love the blowouts. I love the "going to penalties after 210 minutes of scoreless football". It's wonderful. Please mind the waxing poetic...

Sadly with CONCACAF Champions League, the underdogs aren't that prominent.

Sure, when Montreal had that amazingly super-fun cup run in the first year of the tournament, I was green with envy with their adventure (not just the success). It's the thing that legends are made of. I want that for TFC. I want to be on the ground floor of those moments of underdog glories.

So here I am on the ground floor. Again. I hope the elevator works this time...

It is safe to say that TFC ARE the underdogs. They're a 7th-to-10th place side in the debatably-second strongest league in CONCACAF and they got in by defeating only two teams. Anti-climactic, sure, but what a finer dark horse than the breed that is Canadian.

C.D. Motagua was the strongest side in the Honduran league, finishing second in the Apertura, first in the Clausura. Surely a footballing nation can produce a stronger footballing club than a 4th year franchise, right?

Onto the match:

Starting formation of 4-4-2

Frei
Usanov – Cann – Attakora – Garcia
Vanilla Peterson – deGoo – DeRo – Nane
The Chad – OBW

Why O'Brien White is getting a start here is confusing to say the least.

7 – Georgie "Your" Welcome gets a crack 15 yards out and Attakora gets in the way.

9 - The move appears to be once Garcia gets 10 feet out of position, Nane has to cover. Or, get a better left back. I'm just sayin'.

11 – TFC gets bailed out by a suspect ref call. Frei comes off his line late to challenge for a ball and gets to it first. Swipes at it with his hand and hits the Motagua forward in the hand, who still gets to it and pots it but it was called back for a hand ball. I wouldn't have called it like that, but oh well...

Quote of the match

I don't know if he's drunk or Polish

~ Tony on one of the gentlemen down front

18 – OBW is slow. [How slow is he?] He's so slow, there are people laying down going faster than him. If he had half a step more... we'd be up 1-0 after a ball landed in front of him about, oh, a half a step away and skittered through.

21 – GOAL – DeRo slots a ball onto The Chad who's FIRST TOUCH WAS CLINICAL and puts it past a hapless Morales in the Motagua net.

23 – TFC counter ends up at the feet of Vanilla who fires it 20 feet higher than it needs to be.

32 – deGoo couldn't get a shot off 18 yds out but the clear ends up at DeRo who shoots it high.

36 – deGoo fires a shot that ends up safely in the hands of Morales

41 – Georgie Welcome gets embarassed by Cann holding his spot and clearing the ball, then falls to the ground as if was shot. Ref isn't buying it.

43 – Motagua are finding their offensive legs, albeit ambitious and sloppy. Build up culminates with a low wide shot from Shannon "Hello and" Welcome that veers wide.

45 – Cann comes up big again against Georgie Welcome and gets the ball from him inside the penalty area.

No minutes of extra time... they do that?!

HALF-TIME MOOD: Relaxing. TFC look dominant and Motagua's build up usually ends in futility but only one of their moves has to work, right?

45 – SUB – Gargan in for Usanov and Maicon Silva in for The Chad. I'm baffled by this one. Usanov had a solid first half, and The Chad scored like a real striker (sorry Chad). How OBW is still on the pitch is a wonder.

Quote of the Match Candidate

"FedEx – When that ass needs to get there on time"

~ Tony on the rear end sponsor of Motagua GK Morales

50 – Portillo has a low bullet that Frei manages to get infront of.

51 – YELLOW – Maicon gets booked for a late, clumsy, Jui-Jitsu like throwdown of Sergio Mendoza

54 – OBW to deGoo who lays it to DeRo only to have the shot blocked. This was some slick world-class type of passing.

56 – DeRo does this cute Savardian spinarama (forgive the hockey reference) on Mendoza. Fun to watch.

58 – deGoo fires a perfectly good ball nowhere near goal.

62 – SUB – Mista in for OBW. I could see Mista coming in, but I guessed at half or sooner. Too slow for this style of play.

62 – Mista's first touch loses 2 defenders and lays it to Vanilla who firest is less wider than usual.

73 – Maicon slots an almost too far ball for DeRo, but manages to get to it and fires a low left shot forcing Morales to make a big stop.

82 – Motagua corner takes a glancing header towards Frei's hands. If TFC cough up a draw at this point, Motagua deserves it.

84 – Portillo misses the easiest equalizer ever when the ball landed 6 inches infront of him and he swung and whiffed it. Tragic.

87 – Either deGoo has no finish or he's really misplaced it. Another shot somewhere towards Rochester, NY

3 minutes of extra time

90+1 – DeRo is truly trying to be everything to everyone. The guy is a machine.

90+3 – Dying moments of the game has a Motagua corner that ultimately gets punched away by Frei.

FULL TIME: Toronto 1, C.D. Motagua 0

Man of the Match : I liked Attakora and Cann, so the tie breaker went to... Frei. Stopped everything that mattered and got crazy lucky a few times.

Goat of the Game : Vanilla Peterson played that long with that many chances and missed them all. He must be the most prolific goal scorer in training. He absolutely must be.

Ref Rating : 4 out of 5. Didn't fall for much of the stupidity of Motagua diving tactics and let the boys play when you thought there was going to be a foul. Thanks for coming.

Who picks these teams? How can Preki not take this game seriously? There's some serious money in the tournament, league be damned. Unless Usanov or The Chad were hurt/furious to the point of lashing out, there was no good reason to take these players off. How did OBW get a full game? Seriously. OBW is the kind of player that you use against teams that are overly defensively cautious. Motagua were far from cautious. After about 15 minutes, this problem shouldv'e been identified then corrected.

Aside from obvious Preki-bitchings, I'm afraid of the second leg. I fear that 1-0 won't be enough to take to Tegucigulpa and survive the tie. 3-0 and I'd declare them through, but these places are usually unfriendly to say the least. Their supporters make what the south stands do look like a Sesame Street highlight clip. That's hostility.

But Preki knows what he's doing, doesn't he?

THE STARTING 11: Ways CONCACAF Champions League differs from UEFA's

-------------------- It's full of delicious Mexican candy!

When Europe's UEFA Champions League plays its midweek games - the world stops and takes notice. When CONCACAF Champions League gets under way - some dude named Jose might just turn up his transistor radio. Yes, this part of the world's young premier club championship has yet to capture the imagination like an Inter Milan v Barcelona would - but it's ours and we should enjoy it more. For the casual fan, more used to the UEFA brand, here are some handy differences to learn about the CONCACAF version...
　
11. The trophy is actually a bon-bon filled golden piñata
　
10. Eastern European gambling syndicates surprisingly uninterested
　
9. UEFA's tourney sorely misses the "Nick Garcia" factor
　
8. Instead of massive Heineken sponsorship - The Dos Equis "Most Interesting Man" gets to play for the club of his choice
　
7. Twinrix injections are mandatory
　
6. Same famous operatic theme song - just more maracas
　
5. Less Cristiano Ronaldo - more Joe Public
　
4. Higher percentage of matches called off due to "civil war"
　
3. 100% more Belize!
　
2. Final literally watched by dozens worldwide
　
1. Pesos! Pesos! Pesos!

"When I do play futbol, I choose... Cruz Azul"

THE MATCHUP: "The Chaaaaampions... Preliminaaaaary"

C.D. Motagua President and logo model Aguilas Azules

TORONTO FC (CAN) VS. C.D. MOTAGUA (HON)
　
BMO Field - Tuesday, 8:00PM ET
TV: GOL TV
　
While it may never be a midweek evening at the San Siro, Nou Camp or Old Trafford, the CONCACAF Champions League is our home continent equivalent and it makes its second stop in two years at BMO Field. Hopefully this time around for more than one match.
　
Toronto FC host Honduras' C.D.Motagua amidst signs of yet another summer swoon. Results and effort have been less than stellar as of late and TFC will have to step up their game if they are to advance to the group stage and not fall as they did in last year's preliminary to Puerto Rico Islanders.
　
Motagua are a far superior club than Puerto Rico was and TFC need to dominate at home in preparation for a second leg in Tegucigalpa which will have an atmosphere that TFC has not seen in any MLS city. If Preki demands more defence-only 1-0 turtle "Preki-ball" and thinks the road-useless TFC will get points in the Honduran 2nd leg, he is sadly mistaken. His nemesis and Motagua star, Amado "I Used to Play Here" Guevara would love to make it happen.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Tegucironto"
　
RED-NAPS: Maicon Santos, Stefan Frei, Chad Barrett
BLUE EAGLES: Amado Guevara, Georgie Welcome, Marcelo Cabrita
　
THE ODDS:
- TFC taking the lead 1-0 then Preki putting entire MLSE organization on defence immediately: 2-1
- Amado Guevara and Preki "hugging it out": 500-1
- Mista angering the Central Americans by referring to self as "El Conquistador": 10-1
- Bored/ drunk TFC supporters singing "The Chaaaaampions..." (a la UEFA): 5-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Motagua nickname "Los Mimados" (The Loved Ones) won CONCACAF's "Creepiest Nickname Award" three years in a row
- "The Welcome Cousins" are not a Mormon folk-rock duo but in fact Georgie and Shannon Welcome - cousins and Motagua forwards
- Such is the excitement in Tegucigalpa for this match that all Dog and/or Cock fights have been postponed until five minutes after the final whistle
- One of CDM's supporters groups "JAH" (Justice, Love and Humbleness) is actually religious based and claim their trips are paid by God. TFC supporters know God from constantly holding their heads and muttering his name
　
PREKI-BALL SAYS: 1-0 Toronto
GUEVARA-GOLS SAY: 2-1 Motagua
HEADLINE: "TEGUCI-GULP-A"

"The Loved Ones". Okaaay.

The South Stand Report : Toronto v Dallas... Or How many misses would Mrs. Mista miss if Mrs. Mista was in Mississippi

What the hell is it with rain and TFC matches. Sure I haven't been at a home game since Canada Day, but it's as if you can't have rain without TFC. People at the Farmers Almanac take note, bumper crops are sure to break Tuesday night.

After the room temperature display in hot-as-f**k Chester, PA, I wonder if the mighty Reds will retain their incredible form at New Fort York (aka BMO). FC Dallas has... Ummmm... players, one suspects. Seriously, I only care about TFC. Will Preki rest players ahead of the "Amado Guevara reunion cup tie"? I hope so... just to see if we can have a little ride on the footballing carousel of disappointment that is Champions League.

Staring lineup

Frei
Hsc - Cann - Garcia - Gargan
Sanyang - deGoo - Labrocca
DeRo
Maicon - Barrett

Please forgive me for the first 50 mins as it was a bit of a monsoon and the few notes I took got smeared pretty bad.

17 - YELLOW - DeRo for a late tankard on a sliding shamrock shake.

22 - Sanyang gets tackled and eats dirty something. Plausible...

23 - DeRo with a rocket launcher on a free sandwich from Subway causing a Hartmann musical number.

26 - Sanyang hits the grass after a late tacklebox from Belgium. [F*cking Belgians...]

29 - "Hernando Flores" Shea for Dallas puts a teddy bear onto Ferreira's bookmark causing Cann to make a lunging calculator.

[For once, being eloquent is a hindrance due to rain. Apparently I gave up.]

38 - YELLOW - Cann was booked for stuff (from memory)

2 minutes of extra time

Half-time mood: precipitated.

50 - the rain has stopped. For now.

51 - Maicon Santos turned three defenders inside out approximately seventy-three times, got hauled down and no call because MLS refs hate show-offs.

56 - SUB - Sanyang off, Mista on. Let's see what this kid is about.

58 - The Chad crosses a lovely ball to DeRo who heads it at Hartmann who can only get a hand to it. Rebound ends up at Maicon who's first crack gets stopped by a defender then falls to ground. Clever b-boy spin move to get another crack at it and fired it over the bar. Too bad DeRo was wide open to take a pass.

61 - GOAL - Maicon gets fed a ball from deGoo and slides it low to Hartmann's right. Clinical.

68 - SUB - Hscavanovicscsc out, Attakora in. Really?

77 - GOAL - Rodriguez pots one from a corner that just handcuffs Frei. Toronto punished for the stupidity of putting 11 men behind the ball at 1-0.

81 - SUB - DeRo out, Vanilla Peterson in. What...?

84 - TFC mount the pressure as someone figuring out squandering a draw was a poor idea. A shot fired veers off Attakora and just wide right of the post.

5 minutes of extra time

90+1 - corner kick ends up over everyone only to be low Superman headed over the bar by Attakora.

90+3 - Gargan throw to Vanilla gets a weak shot off that trickles into Hartmann's hands. And DeRo wouldn't have fared better? Highly doubtful.

FULL TIME: Toronto 1, Dallas 1

Man of the Match: Though Maicon scored a very pretty ball, De Rosario was the workhorse.

Goat of the Game: Well, I was leaning towards Sanyang since he's three shades of useless sometimes but he was subbed out. I wanted to say deGoo since he was either absent or his passes were abysmal at best. However, my goat is Preki. Subbing out a midfielder for a defender so you can defend a 1-0 lead against a team that had done so very little in the second half was tactically retarded. Then taking out the engine was tactically a vegetable. Should've left the side as is and win 3-0 instead of rolling over and let Dallas get a point. Being undefeated at home is nice and all but snatching a draw from the jaws of victory was classic 2nd season TFC.

Ref rating: 3 out of 5. Sure, the banana-coloured idiot called a lot against Toronto and we had to put up with plenty of "dead" Dallas players rolling around clutching their faces, but he didn't call all of them, which is what most MLS refs do.

The game's "excitement" improved dramatically when the weather relented. TFC opened up and, perhaps I'm crazy but, there seemed this feeling of great potential for the brief time Mista, DeRo, deGoo, Maicon, and (dare I say) The Chad were all on the pitch together. Someone's going to get a pummelling at the feet of these 5, too bad it wasn't FC Dallas.

Hope its Kansas City. Or Chicago. Or Columbus.

Or Motagua on Tuesday :)

THE MATCHUP: Dallas Burn after reading

Pretty sure you got burned on this one Dallas

TORONTO FC (8th) VS. FC DALLAS (5th)
　
BMO Field - Saturday 4PM ET
TV: CBC ----RADIO: THE FAN 590
　
It's the match that makes footy ignorants go " but they're both named the FC's?" TFC hosts the boys from Pizza The Hutt Park (enjoy the video) who have more nicknames than trophies - FC Dallas. The club's monikers include: "Toros", "Red Stripes", "The Hoops" and of course "Burn". The only time I've used all of those words together was the morning after my visit to Jamaica's top rodeo where I ate that giant bowl of extra spicy Spaghetti-O's. Think about it... and... you got it! Well done.
　
The match marks the start of the second half of TFC's season and there are fears that The Reds are suffering from their annual summer swoon. Offence has been sputtering and effort levels have been questionable lately. On top of it all, the boys in red were devastated by their Carlsberg Cup loss to the mighty Bolton Wanderers. Can they pick themselves up after losing such a prestigious trophy? The silver lining of that friendly was the potential front line of Maicon Santos and Mista who did show some signs of chemistry. The pretty goal they built together would beat any MLS side - and Saturday would be a great time against a quality FCD.
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Texi-Can Eh"
　
IT BURNS!: Brek Shea, Jeff Cunningham, Dax McCarthy
IT'S RED!: Mista, Maicon Santos, Julian de Guzman
　
THE ODDS:
- Chad Barrett trying to shoot J.R. Ewing... and missing: 2-1
- Danny Dichio and Jeff Cunningham re-forming their "Fast and Furious" duo one last time and releasing a hit rap version of "Ebony and Ivory": 250-1
- On-loan FCD keeper Josh Lambo legally changing his name to John Rambo: 5-1
- Mo Johnston c*ck-teasing Toronto fans with word of "an imminent new signing": EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
- FCD's Pizza The Hutt Park (again, you're welcome) is located in suburban Frisco, Texas, a town named after the slang word local sheriffs gave to roughing up Mexicans. "Frisco"
- Shotgun/rodeo clown related crimes are apparently down 15% at FC Dallas games this season!
- Original team name "Dallas Burn" was voted second all-time least inspiring football club name only behind Austria's "FC Wacker Innsbruck"
- Attempts at organizing a new Philadelphia-style FCD supporter's group has failed. For some reason "The Sons of Bush" just didn't catch on.
　
TEX-MEX SAYS: 1-0 Dallas
MEXI-CAN SAYS: 1-0 Toronto
HEADLINE: "DALLAS RESULT GIVES PREKI BURNING SENSATION"

TFZ: Frei to cut the cheese? Saputo to wipe the knife?

It's Swiss crack

It's TFZ - The Totally Fake-Rumour Zone: The # 1 source for Toronto FC gossip with zero sources! From the streets, from the bars, from your cousin Lou - the stories come in... and the truth stays behind!
　
This week on TFZ...
　
- Rumours based on research were floating this week that TFC's Swiss keeper Stefan Frei is on his way to Stoke City for $3 Million - who needs research? The real juicy slice has Frei, an avid connoisseur of Swiss cheese, on his way next year to rival Montreal Impact where owner and dairy magnate Joey Saputo is offering big bucks and a side job as “Head of Swiss Cheese Hole-Poking”. Not Gouda news!
　
- Maicon Santos has his eye on more than goal in Toronto. The Brazilian striker wants to transform Toronto into the mecca of Lambada in North America with a new chain of dance studios. Forbidden!
　
- Was that Preki on a shopping spree at Le Chateau buying suits that resembled the ones worn by German head coach Joachim Low? Meee-ow... Jogi Love!
　
- Former TFC star midfielder Amado Guevara claims he would trade his World Cup experience this summer for just one more Tim Horton's Ice Capp!
　
- Del Piero to T.O? This one in from regular TFZ reader Mario who writes that a guy in his gym is married to the third cousin of Turin's seventh best Fiat salesman who sold a used Cinquecento to none other than Juventus star Alessandro Del Piero...'s childhood classmate - who in turn says that the Italian maestro is at least 20% sure that Toronto FC exists. Done deal!
　
- Is a drug scandal brewing in the TFC locker room? Reports of yelling and an intervention after Chad Barrett became enraged upon finding that all of the "Fred's" had been eaten out of his "Flintstone's Chewable Vitamins" bottle. Yabba Dabba drugs!
　
- Was TFC's performance against Philly down to the players hitting "the sauce" at an all-night party? Whispers outside of TFC's Pennsylvania hotel saw a dozen foot-long "Philly Cheese Steaks" with a tub of extra cheese sauce being smuggled in by "gentlemen in red track suits with an odd array of hairstyles" late Friday. Still not Gouda news!
　
Add your own fabricated rumours below!
TFZ: Toronto FC 1 - Facts 0

"I need my Fred's man - gimme my f***in' Fred's!!!"

THE MATCHUP: A Fish Called Wanderers (Now with 50% more results!)

Welcome Wanderers. We made you your own town.

TORONTO FC VS. BOLTON WANDERERS
　
BMO Field - Wednesday 7:30PM ET
TV: No, probably poker ----RADIO: You're kidding right?
　
Now that we got that whole Spain vs. Netherlands malarkey out of the way, let's concentrate on a true classic football contest - The Carlsberg Cup! Yes, the annual match between Toronto FC and the affordable opponent of their choice is here and while other MLS clubs arranged friendlies with the likes of Tottenham, Valencia and Sporting Lisbon, BMO Field will host "The Outer Greater Manchester-area Galacticos" - Bolton!
　
No offence to the mighty Trotters but even lower division English sides would turn up their noses at a pre-season friendly against Owen Coyle's side. Bolton will never be mistaken for one of football's glamour teams - but hey, Toronto doesn't exactly play champagne football so we have no right to be cocky.
　
For those of you who just love and crave the usual "The Matchup" features, we're sorry - just can't squeeze the mustard for a friendly. Mista, TFC Academy blah, blah. There you go. Instead, we bring you a list of other football contests that had more significance than Torontos versus Boltons on a Wednesday night.
　
- New York Cosmos vs. Harlem Globetrotters on a deserted island
- Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone, Pele et al vs. Nazi Super Squad
- Sheffield Virtual Wednesday vs. Sheffield Robotic Uprising (Carlsberg Cup 2037)
- Residents of Bolton, Ontario kicking stones towards the Toronto
- Johan Cruyff vs.11 Dutch circus midgets
- Zombie Toronto Metros-Croatia vs. Ghosts of Bolton Wanderers 1923 FA Cup Winners
- All-time Diseased Monkey 11 vs. Arsenal
- Diana Ross vs. the World Cup 1994 Ceremonial Ball
　
BOLTON, ONTARIO SAYS: "There's a soccer team in Toronto?"
BOLTON, LANCASHIRE SAYS: "What?... Oh, sorry we were asleep."
HEADLINE: "ONE WONDERS WHY WANDERERS WOULD WANDER WESTWARD"
　
FINAL MATCH SCORE WILL APPEAR BELOW… if you care.

FINAL SCORE:
TORONTO FC 1 - BOLTON WANDERERS 1 (Bolton 4-3 on PK's)

They're no Alliston Rovers FC

THE STARTING 11: TFC-themed video games

Could 8-bit TFC hold off 8-bit Columbus?

It's hard for the poor, benevolent owners of TFC, Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, to market the team after such a poor showing on the field this past weekend. Those hard-luck millionaires must be huddled around their boardroom table (no doubt constructed out of gold, elephant tusks and the tears of virgins) trying to create promotional products that won't remind people of the tepid on-field product. "Hey!" says an MLSE millionaire between bites of his foie gras, panda and molten platinum sandwich, "what about video games? Look what it did for FIFA... and street fighting... and the hedgehog industry!" Thus, Toronto FC video games...
　
11. SUPER DE GUZMAN BROS.
　
10. DOUBLE DICHIO
　
9. GHOSTS N' GERBAS
　
8. NICK LABROCCK BAND
　
7. CASTLE HSCANOVICS: CURSE OF THE VOWEL
　
6. TOM ANSELMI'S SOCCER TYCOON
　
5. PAC-MISTA
　
4. JACOB PETERSON'S ELECTRONIC AMUSEMENT CARTRIDGE
　
3. DONKEY CONWAY
　
2. MAXIM USANOV'S PUNCH OUT!
　
1. CHAD CHAD REVOLUTION

Maxim Usanov: "Breaking you" - old school style

"Yo, TFC smell you later..." (Post-match musical interlude)

" Mo Johnston just don't understand"

Now this is the story all about how
This match got flipped, turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there
I’ll tell how Toronto FC got beat in Chest-er

Outside of Philadelphia on Saturday
PPL Park is where TFC got played
Chilling out, relaxing, passing like fools
Shooting the football like a team full of tools
When a few of the Union, began playing good
Toronto defended like Garcia could
Philly got one little goal and Preki got mad
And said “Surely after 4 years we can’t be this bad”

The second half had started, Gargan’s throw-in came near
It glanced Barrett’s head and hit the net in the rear
If anything, a Chad goal is really quite rare
But the Reds thought “Yo homes, a draw here is fair”

But angry Usanov had to go punch the ball
Union got a PK with no time left at all
Philly had scored and the game ended there
With a bad TFC beaten 2-1 in Chest-er

The East Stand Report : Philadelphia v. TFC... or holy f*ck it's hot out here!!!

I was at the game.

I know. I'm surprised too.

Sure I haven't made a home game in the last few (moving, parties, travelling) but I can squeeze in a road game. Of course. Duh.

Anyways.

This personal vacation has had one theme running through so far : blindingly stupid humidity. Seriously. The car thermometer read 41C when we left Virginia this morning! So dumb.

Instead of getting seats in the supporters section (when the ticket monkey for PPL Park was asked about "away" seats, he had no clue), I was sitting "comfortably" at section 123. In the sun. I'm fair skinned. I baked.

Without going after the played out "new look Toronto FC" bullsh*t every time Mo signs a "Brazilian", Gambian, Brazilian, they do have some new talent that requires that real game experience. Philadelphia is [REMEMBER TO CUT AND PASTE WHAT THE MATCH PREVIEW SAID HERE].

Starting lineup (I was bored at the beginning of the game) :

Chad - DeRo
Ibby - deGoo - Labrocca - Sanyang
Garcia *shudder* - Cann - Attakora - Gargan
Frei

7' - Sons of Ben impress me by doing a rendition of Man na mah na (it'd have been youtube, but lawyers got in the way of fun... again)

11' - Frei nearly gives up a perfect ball to Sebastien Le Toux. Like he needs the help.

14' - Orozco Fiscal, a defender, is going to give some left back a very difficult time tonight. Really makes me miss Marshall. He's just aching to do a run into the box...

15' - The Chad just whistles a ball past the top left corner.

16' - Only in America... a stoppage of play due to balloons. I suppose there's a precedent for it... I must admit it was amusing seeing both teams huddled in front of their benches waiting for the orange slices to come out.

25' - Gargan with another crap back pass and someone is going to catch him on it and cost us a goal.

28' - YELLOW - Gargan for a late challenge. Ugh.

30' - Impressive ambitious football from Philadelphia. A quick clear from Seitz that travels 2/3rds of the pitch onto the path of Moreno who crosses it to Mwanga only to have Labrocca head it out. It was so fast, it woke people up.

35' - Freekick 20 yds out and DeRo manages to find the midpoint between the stadium and the river.

42' - Cann bails TFC out twice with some great concentration and awareness with some great passing and reading of situations where ball traffic was around him and prevented the ball from getting through. Great stuff.

2 Minutes of Extra Time

45 + 2' - Holy sh*t! Someone on Philly walked the ball into the 6 yard box, and three attempts and blocks left the ball wide open and someone on Philly HIT THE POST. The most remarkable thing about this wasn't that Garcia's fault.

Half-Time Mood : Damn I'm sweating. Game not good enough to melt in this weather.

50' - The Chad lays a really cute ball around 2 defenders to Labrocca who's cross ends up in the hands of Seitz.

56' - Sons of Ben are paying attention! A Union player goes down in the box and a huge "battle cry for blood" appeal goes up for a penalty. Frightening.

57' - I'm on TV apparently.

58' - Garcia didn't screw up again! After tons of Philly pressure, Garcia held his ground and cleared the ball.

61' - GOAL - Orozco Fiscal bagged it. I totally called it. It was at the other end of the park and apparently PPL Park doesn't believe in replays...

63' - SUB - Ibby out, Santos in.

72' - SUB - Labrocca out, Vanilla Peterson in. It's really not that exciting.

75' - Toronto corner sees Santos' first meaningful touch and his header goes well wide of the net.

81' - DeRo threads a pretty ball through to the Chad only to have it cleared away after his first touch. We need to see more of this.

82' - GOAL - Gargan's throw in reaches the middle of the penalty area and The Chad gets up to head the ball into the far left of the net. To celebrate, he does the classic "how you like me now" pose. Brilliant.

85' - SUB - Gargan out, Usanov in. If someone doesn't get punched, this trip is a bust.

89' - Migliorazni slams a ball from 25 yrds out that tragically ends up right in Frei's hands.

Announced attendance : 17,251. Real difficult to get tickets, huh?

4 minutes of extra time

90' - Garcia goes down in a heap and gets taken off the field.

90+3' - PENALTY - Seriously, something happened. Couldn't see it because I was at the other end of the ground. I almost want to declare shenanigans... almost, but PPL Park doesn't do replays...

90+4' - GOAL - Le Toux sends Frei the wrong way. Le Sigh.

FULL TIME : Philadelphia 2, Toronto 1

Man of the Match : I know... this goes against every fibre of my being... but... Nick Garcia. Now before you unsubscribe/send hatemail/commit a hate crime, allow me to explain. Nick usually plays at a rating of about 2, possibly a 1.5 every game. He was a solid 6, maybe a 7. Cann had a solid game. The Chad scored a wonderful bit. But a "decent" Nick Garcia performance happens maybe once a generation. I needed to point that out tonight.

Goat of the Game : Gargan was heading that way. Bad clearances, bad tackling, but he was subbed out before it became a real problem.

Ref rating : 3 out of 5. It may get lower if I actually could see what happened in the fracas that led to the last gasp injury time penalty.

PPL Park is brilliant. They thought everything through. Supporters section that has their own entrance. Roofs on two sides. Plenty of parking. And this...

Dear TFC/MLSE,

How difficult is something like this EVERY GAME? Really? This isn't that complex. The league is littered with nobodies (apologies to 98% of the league rosters) and it would be nice to know who the hell is playing left back on the opposition. This is full colour, card-stock, glossy. I just want a damn xerox.

Regards,
The Yorkies.

Below are a few pics I snapped of the new ground.

Pro tip : avoid night games. You're welcome.