LETTERS FROM CAMP: Crew vs. Latvia

It's a funny thing living in Canada and not really being all that much of an iced hockey fan. Attitudes toward my kind range from social pariah, to traitor to the nation and on to suspiciously extraterrestrial. But it's true and it’s what sees me as one of seven Canadian citizens ignoring Canada vs Latvia in Sochi and opting for TFC v Columbus Crew at the Mickey Mouse Tournament in Orlando. On the internet. Via Twitter mostly due to dodgy streams.

I lead a rich, full life.

So here it is, a friendly versus our "bitter rivals* (*closer to butter rivals) as gleaned from crap read off of social media...

COLUMBUS VS. TORONTO - Space Mountain, Orlando Florida

1' - Brazilian DP Gilberto leading a strong TFC line-up from up top. Crew line-up is assumed to be wearing yellow.
5' - Michael Bradley passed to the Canadian women's bobsled team for a Gold Medal
10' - GOAL: Columbus - Federico Higauin from a free kick. The end is nigh.
COLUMBUS 1 - TORONTO 0
12' - GOAL: Columbus - Josh Williams from a corner. The end nigher. #NelsenOut #SpringtimeForSatire
COLUMBUS 2 - TORONTO 0
14' - GOAL: Toronto - Own Goal. Sport Goofy maybe? Sure. Slightly less nigh.
COLUMBUS 2 - TORONTO 1
20' - Someone on Twitter's sister made thousands working from home. I should ask her how.
25' - Free @TOMayorFrod
35' - De Ro has done little to help Canada beat Latvia
40' - [PICTURE OF AN ADORABLE PUPPY IN A HAT]

HALFTIME: COLUMBUS 2 - TORONTO 1

45' - 2nd Half underway. A game of two halves? One for the neutrals? Givin' it 110%? All the clichés are up for grabs in Orlando!
47' - SUBS: Agbossoumonde and Wiedeman in for Caldwell and Gilberto. Tactically speaking this move is indicative of... oh who are we kidding? Wet Wiedeman gag. That's better. No more subs talk.
48' - Mighty Latvians have been brought down to Earth by plucky underdog Canadians! That one was to up my street cred. Was that good guys?
55' - FACT: Neither Arsenal nor Bayern Munich have won the Disney Soccer Classic.
61' - GOAL: COLUMBUS - Something named Adam Bedell puts TFC to the sword. Serious nigh action.
COLUMBUS 3 - TORONTO 1
65' - [RANDOM RIGHT-WING AMERICAN POLITICAL RETWEET FROM PERSON YOU DON'T REMEMBER FOLLOWING] 70' - "Hilarious" tweets highlighting that "TFC spent $100 Million on this?" never getting old.
75' - Football men kicking footballs.
80' - What if they made ski jumping into a thing where there are two hills facing each other and the first jumper to the middle wins?
89' - What am I doing with my life?
90' - #Nigh
90'+ - [PICTURE OF AN ADORABLE CAT HUGGING A MONKEY]

COLUMBUS 3 - TORONTO 1

Quelle surprise! Hassli pour The Hoops?

Ah, the Frisco nightlife would suit the L'Hassli

Either this deal is done or the FC Dallas' front office will be getting emails RE: Tampering very soon. Earlier this evening, courtesy of the Queen's Park Texas Rangers Twitter account, this little nugget was dropped...

NEWS: #FCDallas is in talks with Toronto FC and close to finalizing a deal to bring Eric Hassli to Dallas.
— FC Dallas (@FCDallas) February 1, 2013

The rumours about Eric Hassli's tres miserables feelings (and his wife's geography concerns) since Paul Mariner's dismissal from TFC have been rampant but few saw this possibility coming. If the tweet is to believed (and it kind of has to be) then FC Dallas has once again become the place where TFC sends its DP's that were bought without thinking. Hassli, he of the lumbering trot and numerous attempts at circus shots, clearly does not want to continue in Toronto and you get the vibe from Kevin Payne that the feeling is very, very mutual.

The fact that Hassli looks likely to move is no shock. This despite his heart-warming answer when asked on TFC Media Day if he is happy in Toronto - his reply "...................... (pause for dramatic Gallic effect) .................. yeah." Tres bien monsieur! No the shock will be if TFC can get away with getting anything in return and not having to eat too much of his bloated and short-sightedly renewed contract.

For Kevin Payne and the club going forward, Hassli's departure would aid them greatly simply in salary flexibility and an open international slot not to mention still allowing them the ability to cut a remaining DP. Yes, in the end giving away a (likely high) 1st Round Pick to our "pals" in Vancouver for a few underwhelming appearances will hurt but it's too late to cry over bone-headed milk. In the road forward, it is just another casualty in a desperately needed cull.

More news when anything become l'official.... or that kid who runs the FC Dallas Twitter account gets jumpy again...



#MoJohnstonTransferDeadlineDay

This used to be everyday at BMO Field. Sigh.



We love us a transfer deadline day. The MLS one is kind of fun for trades but with the multiple windows it can get a bit muddled. On the flipside, when UEFA shuts its window twice a year - it is quite the spectacle. Teams scrapping it out for the title trying to bring in a useful mercenary while minnows try to avoid relegation with a timely loan signing or keep the club alive by selling an asset for big money.
　
While clubs across the continent scrap it out for last-minute deals, nowhere is the mania chronicled quite like it is in the media-zoo that is England. One of the absolute treats of deadline day is the online "trackers" set up by various websites and media outlets. These allow the public to share rumours of potential deals with "insiders". Since the dawn of Twitter, one phenomenon has become popular on these trackers - the "I just spotted..." messages. These Tweets are usually along the lines of "Just saw Jermaine Defoe at Liverpool Airport - Reds move imminent?" For the most part they are flights of a fan's fancy - but entertaining nonetheless.
　
While perusing these Bigfoot-esque "sightings" we couldn't help wonder what a deadline day would have been like for Toronto FC under the bad old days of former GM/terrible deal aficionado Mo Johnston. Using technology that doesn't exist, we look back at what "spotted" tweets would have been posted under the hashtags #MoJohnstonTransferDeadlineDay... or possibly #FiveYearPlan...
　
- Spoke to @DwayneDeRosario in Houston. Gentleman's agreement for DP deal in TO!
- Saw some dude wandering aimlessly outside BMO Field - Rick Titus to @TorontoFC?
- Olivier Tebily close to signing - should be at #TFC for years! #defencefixed
- A French dude complaining about croissants at my @TimHortons - Laurent Robert?
- Buddle to LA Galaxy. Good deal for Reds - he'll never be a consistent MLS goalscorer
- Gabe Gala joins #TFC - says he's good enough to "score against Madrid" #inhisdreams
- Conor Casey to join #TFC from Germany? #LongTermDeal
- Just saw Dan Gargan changing in a Columbus cab! #defencefixed
- Saw a Spanish Sean Penn lookalike at Royal York Hotel counting money & laughing. Mista new DP?
- Dude kicked off of Toronto-bound Aeroflot for punching in-flight meal... Usanov to #TFC?
- Spotted Collin Samuel outside Mandarin Buffet waiting for it to open #dumplingfestival
- Rapids' midfielder Jacob Peterson seen crying at USA/Canada border. Traded to Canada?
- Ex-Caps D @AdrianCann leaves fashion show abruptly. #TFC over Blue Steel? #ReallyReallyGoodLooking
- Know a guy at First Wave Agency. Says they just faxed #TFC their next 17 signings
- TFC shirt maker just ran out of consonants... Reds to sign Raivis Hscanovics? #dfnsfxd
- Strange noises coming from Food Building at The Ex. Ali Gerba?
- OFFICIAL: Saw Carlos Ruiz at Guatemala City airport.  Should arrive here in 4-6 weeks!
- @AndreaLombardo trialing the Ossington bus. Dufferin 29 going nowhere fast #TTCTFC