Reds' bench takes a (hipster) haircut

The proverbial hipster Cheshire Cat

After a long and gruelling FIFTEEN MONTHS coaching Toronto FC's fledgling U-17 team, Newmarket's soccer royalty was gifted the job of TFC Assistant Coach today. Yes, the hipster-hairdo'd/soul patch aficionado Jim Brennan has replaced the bombastic Dutchman Bob de Klerk as Aron Winter's number two. The surprise move was suddenly announced today - you know, just in case fans started to feel that TFC had taken a turn for the better.
　
The hilariously entertaining and experienced de Klerk has been moved into a role called "Technical Manager". Technically speaking - it sounds like a demotion. He will apparently have "a more active role in the day-to-day operations of the club off-the-pitch," according to his friend and Manager Aron Winter - who may have just felt the first broadside by the TFC old-boys network. While there is nothing wrong with building a strong backroom, the movement of someone who is seemingly the boss's right-hand man is murky at best.
　
Shifting de Klerk to a role of that ilk is not necessarily a negative move... if a qualified professional is taking his place. But, this is not the case. As stated above, Brennan's claim to coaching fame is corralling TFC's teens for just over a year. An important job - but not one that gives you any insight into the world of professional level management. Many will say "but he was the club's captain", which is fine and good but his captaincy was one that was laced with rumours of his very cozy relationship with management in a time of great tumult amongst his teammates. He didn't leave the position behind with a lilywhite perception.
　
Much will be trumpeted (and excused) that Brennan is a good Canadian and it's important for Toronto FC to foster young Canadian coaches - but this is pure folly. Toronto FC is a large, professional club in the highest level of North American football and not a place where coaches should be "learning" their trade. If that is the case, why didn't Canadian citizen, Senior Academy manager and player with even more experience Danny Dichio or even long-time TFC coach Jason Bent get the job? Perhaps Tom Anselmi and Earl Cochrane watching from the stands today might give some insight.
　
Aron Winter will say all the right things about the changes made today but it would be shocking if any of this was his idea. Instead, it seems like the Machiavellian workings of the TFC/MLSE power brokers at work once again. Much like Jim Brennan's haircuts, this stupidity won't end soon.

THE MATCHUP: "Shmell Ya' Latersh"

"I'm de DJ, he'sh the rappersh"



PHILADELPHIA (4th) VS. TORONTO (16th)
　
PPL PARK - SATURDAY 4PM EDT
TV: TSN -----RADIO: FAN 590
　
Saturday's match against the high flying, second-year (cough, cough) Philadelphia Union really only holds one point of interest for TFC supporters - will Aron Winter swallow his pride and field a B-Squad in order to rest up for next week's Champions League do-or-die? Since there is little other consequence other than predicting a 2-0 loss, The Yorkies bring you a special Philly-inspired musical interlude by The Reds' # 1 Dutch hip-hop sensation Bob "De Fresh Prince of Amsterdam" de Klerk...
________________________________________________________

DE FRESH PRINSH OF BMO

Now, thish is the shtory all about how
My life got flipped-turned upshide down
And I'd like to take de minute
Jusht shit down shlow
I'll tell you how I became the Prinsh of a Field called BMO

In wesht Amshterdam born and raished
On de pitch wash where I shpent mosht of my daysh
Chillin' out, shmokin', relaxshin' all free
Shootin' free kicksh by Ajax Academy
When shome Feyenoord dudesh
Who were up to no good
Shtartin’ making trouble by de coffee houshe
I got in one little fight and mama shcreamed "Go!"
She shaid 'You're movin' with Aron Winter to BMO'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she packed my shuitcashe and shent me on my way
She gave me a kissh and then she gave me de ticket.
I watched Rutger Hauer in-flight film and shaid,
'I might ash well kick it'.

Firsht classh, yo thish ish not bad
Drinking peach schnappsh out of de champagne glassh.
Ish thish what KLM Firsht Classh ish like?
Hmmmmm, thish might be alright!

De plane landed at Pearshon and when I came out
There wash Jurgen Klinshmann shtanding there with my name out
But I ain't trying to play voetbal yet, I jusht got here!
Sho I shprang with quicknessh, en like de Ruud Gullitt job - dishappeared

I whishtled for de cab and when it came near
De lishense plate shaid Ontario and it had Maple Leafsh in de mirror
If anything I can shay dat thish cab wash shlow
But I thought 'Bob forget it' - 'Yo homesh to BMO'

I pulled up to de shtaadt about sheven or eight
And I yelled to de cabbie 'Yo homesh shmell ya later'
I looked at BMO Field
I wash replashing Mo
To shit on my throne ash de Prinsh of BMO

TFC TOTAL CINEMA: "De Pulp Fictionsh"

We pride ourselves on being a renaissance football blog and want to broaden the minds of our readers. It is said "man can not live on football alone..." Well no, sandwiches help. Either way, we are proud to bring you a new feature - "Total Cinema" - where Aron Winter and his fellow (often Dutch) thespians re-imagine some great scenes from modern cinema. To kick off this celebration of film, we bring you a scene from the 1994 Quentin Tarantino classic "Pulp Fiction" as performed by Aron Winter and actor / Toronto FC Assistant Coach Bob de Klerk...

　

"PULP FICTION"

　
INT. '88 OPEL ASTRA (MOVING) – MORNING
　
An old gas guzzling, dirty, white 1988 Opel Astra barrels down a pancake-ridden street in Amsterdam. In the front seat are two Dutch fellas – one white, one black – both wearing cheap black suits with thin black ties under long green dusters. Their names are VINCENT VAN VEGA (de Klerk) and JULESH WINNTER (Winter). Julesh is behind the wheel.
　

JULESH

Okay now, tellsh me about de donutsh.

　

VINCENT

Wat do you want to know?

　

JULESH

Well, donutsh ish huge in Toronto, right?

　

VINCENT

Yesh, they are huge, and a hundred pershent

shugar. I meansh you can not walk into a reshtaurant, have a shmoke, and eat a Dutchie. You are only shupposhed to eat donutsh at de offish or shertain deshignated plashesh.

　

JULESH

Thoshe are de Teem Hortensh?

　

VINCENT

Yesh, it breaksh down like thish: it'sh

legal to buy donutsh, it'sh legal to own

donutsh and, if you are de proprietor of

de Teem Hortensh, it'sh legal to shell donutsh.

It'sh legal to eat de donutsh and drive,

which doesh not really matter 'caushe –

get a load of thish – if the copsh shtop you,

they jusht ashk for de donutsh.

Eating de donutsh ish a right that de

copsh in Toronto have.

　

JULESH

Oh, man – I'm fuckin' goin',

that'sh all there ish to it.

　

VINCENT

You will dig it the mosht. But you know

what de funniesht thing about Canada ish?

　

JULESH

Wat?

　

VINCENT

It'sh de little differenshesh. A lotta

the shame shit we got here, they got

there, but there they are a little different.

　

JULESH

Exshamplesh?

　

VINCENT

Well, in Toronto, you can not buy beersh

in the filmsh theatre! Not even in de

paper cupsh! They give you a cup of

Pepshi Cola, like in de childrensh party!

In Ajax, Ontario, you can not buy beersh at

McDonald'sh! Alsho, you know what

they call de Royale with de Cheeshe in Ajax?

　

JULESH

They don't call it de Royale with de Cheeshe?

　

VINCENT

No, they eat with de Imperial shyshtem

there, they wouldn't know what de fuck a

Royale with de Cheeshe ish.

　

JULESH

What are they calling it?

　

VINCENT

Qvarter Pounder with de Cheeshe.

　

JULESH

Qvarter Punder with de Cheeshe. What are they

calling de Big Mac?

　

VINCENT

Big Mac'sh a Big Mac, but they call

it Big Mac eh.

　

JULESH

Big Mac eh. What do they call de

Whoppersh?

　

VINCENT

I dunno, I did not go into de Burger

Kingsh. But you know what they put on

pommesh fritesh in Canada inshtead of

mayonaisshe?

　

JULESH

What?

　

VINCENT

Tomato Ketchupsh.

　

JULESH

Goddamn!

　

VINCENT

I sheen 'em do it. And I do not mean a

little bit on the shide of de platesh,

they fuckin' drown 'em in it.

　

JULESH

Uuccchsh!

THE STARTING 11: Things overheard at the Aron Winter press conference

Those are top quality Academy prospects!

There have been few Toronto FC press conferences that have been as momentous as last week's introduction to Aron Winter & Co. There was the club unveiling in 2006, Dwayne De Rosario's signing from Houston, "The Great Mo & Preki Escape" of 2010... Oh, and maybe Jacob Peterson's Amish Hip-Hop album release. But, apart from those - this was big Edam cheese. Fans got to hear some of the Q&A with the new management team and the assorted press but sometimes it's the things that are caught anonymously off-mic that are more interesting...
　
11. "It was the giant CNE windmill that sealed the deal."
　
10. "I've never seen so many pancakes at a press conference!"
　
9. "Is Bob de Klerk a part-time hitman?"
　
8. "Gentleman, you can leave your clogs by the door."
　
7. "Did he just call the club TFC Eindhoser?"
　
6. "Where's Jim Brennan with our coffee?"
　
5. "What do you mean no red light district in Toronto!?"
　
4. "Rohan Ricketts just changed his name to Johan Riijkets"
　
3. "Sorry sir... no Belgians allowed."
　
2. "TFC will be more Ajax Academy... less Police Academy"
　
1. "Total Football sure beats Mo-tal Football"

Winter's arrival brings season of change to Toronto FC

Well, 3 out of 4 ain't bad!

When MLSE VP Tom Anselmi opened today's important press conference with an admission that the club had been "going in the wrong direction" it was hard not to point the finger squarely at the man himself. For four years under Anselmi and MLSE's direction, TFC was allowed to flounder, mostly at the hands of Mo Johnston, and on this site as in many other places, the ownership was rightfully criticized. This post-season Anselmi committed the club to finding a "second to none" MLS front office. The pessimists (this site included) scoffed but for today at least, credit is due. The changes announced today are indeed the finest in the club's history.
　
With the more than influential Jürgen Klinsmann leading the way, MLSE put together a braintrust with actual "brains". Introducing the new front office as one that would foster "our style of play" Anselmi brought the news that the club's leadership would be laid out with new blood in an actual football hierarchy. From top to bottom the main staff includes:

Aron Winter - Head Coach and Technical Director
Paul Mariner - Director of Player Development
Bob de Klerk - Assistant Coach and Assistant Tech. Director
Earl Cochrane - Director of Team Operations
Stuart Neely - Director of TFC Academy

It was also made clear that Nick Dasovic, Danny Dichio, Jim Brennan, Mike Toshack and Jason Bent will remain with the club in "important roles”.
　
In addition to the major staff changes, Anselmi also handed club supporters some late Christmas gifts with the announcements that TFC would be creating a much further developed scouting department, improvements to the Academy set-up and that the MLSE Board had approved a $17 Million training facility to be built in the GTA.
　
It may have taken four hard years to get to this point but there is a feeling today that Toronto FC starts here... for real this time. The people and plans put into place should have come in 2007 but there is little use looking back in anger today. A little bit of forgiveness today to MLSE... BUT, not forgetfulness. If Anselmi & Co. really want to make this a success, then we say - good start, now get out of the way and don't meddle with men much smarter than you! We don't have another four years like the last in us.

Was 2007-2010 all a bad dream?

Some highlighted points from the stars of today's feature "TFC II: The Tee Effening":
　
ARON WINTER
- Has a good feeling for the club and Toronto - a "soccer city"
- Spoke to Ruud Gullit about challenges of MLS before taking job
- Wants a "Toronto" style not an Ajax one but will lean towards an attractive 3-striker option made famous with the "Total Football" philosophy
- He expects Dwayne De Rosario to be with the club at training camp
- MLS is a "shtrange" league with long geographical distances; equivalent to a mid-level European league in standard
- Making TFC Academy strong will eliminate club's need for the MLS Draft system and will create strong young Canadian talent
　
PAUL MARINER
- Will report to Winter and be "the bridge between league and Aron"
- Will oversee the short-term and long-term player targets
- Started to identify players already for 2011
- Used to "look across the border with envy" at TFC's support and atmosphere when he was with New England
　
BOB DE KLERK
- Answered first question of press conference in Dutch
- Has awesome Goldmember-esque Dutch-English accent
- Has penchant for dressing like a pimp from The Hague
　
JIM BRENNAN and DANNY DICHIO
- Had a priceless moment during a question regarding De Rosario where they both stared at their shoes and shuffled uncomfortably in their seats
　
JÜRGEN KLINSMANN
- Despite Anselmi's references to what type of hockey players Torontonians like, the German said that the "Toronto style" will be attractive, attacking football and that this coaching staff reflects it
- Claims it's harder for a European coach to be successful in MLS
- Winter stands for "aggressive, attacking" football