New Year's Eve countdown to success

Wow, they are happy Thierry Henry's leaving on loan

Mere hours from now, Dick Clark will descend on Manhattan's Times Square riding a fully armed crystal ball where he will fight an army of Mayan warriors bent on destroying the world. Or something to that effect.

　
Yes, 2012 is upon us and while many fear that it is the year that marks the end of civilization, most TFC supporters just hope that it is the year that marks the end of futility. After waiting for what seems like an eternity, signs are pointing to the 2012 Season (aka SIXual Healing) being a memorable one. Anyways, don't remember the Mayans carving any MLS tables into stone tablets. Pfft... Mayans... how many World Cups did they win?
　
As the big ball sets to drop, we thought we'd count down from ten with things that would help usher in a new age of prosperity at BMO Field or at the very least a 2012 playoff berth. But... if there are any defenders in the Mayan SuperLiga looking for a job, give us a call...
　
10! READY BY MARCH: The days of Mo Johnston signing players during the warm-ups of the opening match has to be over as well as dozens of transfers into July. TFC needs a 95% completed roster before the first game of the season
　
9! DE-FENCE: A Harden / Iro combo on opening day is simply unacceptable. A solid D is imperative and while we hope to see Richard Eckersley's return, if it's not to be then the rumours of Geovanny Caicedo, Victor Turcios, Krzysztof Krol and others need to be real
　
8! STEADY DE KOEF: We don't need flashy, we don't need highlight reel - we just need goals. Danny Koevermans needs to continue where he ended 2011 - for the whole season. TFC has yet to have a truly reliable striker over a full year - De Koef needs to be it
　
7! DE GOODZ-MAN: If it happens, the sceptics will crow that it's because he's in the final year of his bloated contract - but, Julian de Guzman needs to have his absolute best season in MLS. He was better once Torsten Frings arrived but needs a year of sustained quality for his and the team's sake
　
6! BIGGIE SMALLS: First he needs to be re-signed but then Joao Plata will have to work hard to avoid the sophomore jinx. Other clubs will be more prepared for him and La MosQuito will have to work hard to be TFC's second strike option
　
5! # 1 AND ONLY: While having two solid keepers is great - Aron Winter will need to have a clear # 1 out of Milos Kocic and Stefan Frei to foster a solid presence in the back. Sadly it could mean one of them moving on
　
4! THINK OF THE CHILDREN: While this year is a priority, everyone knows that Winter & Co's vision is long-term. The sudden departure of Academy Director Stuart Neely left a big void and the right man (i.e. not Earl Cochrane) needs to be hired soon
　
3! BRING THE NOISE: Most supporters noticed that 2011 was lacking in atmosphere at BMO Field. Once the hallmark in MLS for noise, BMO has been surpassed by a number of other grounds and their support. The club needs to work with, not against, supporter "culture" while the fans must also come together to re-energize that 2007 spirit
　
2! TORSTEN IN THE MIDDLE: Der Kapitän was pushed to the centre of defence as an emergency measure late in 2011 but to get the most out of Torsten Frings' abundant talent he need to be able to play in his naturally talismanic role in the centre of the park. While we understand him being forced to cover "Hard-iro" last year, it is a waste of his ability to be the team's engine in the middle
　
1! SAVE THE DRAMA: For the first time ever - TFC needs to get through a year without any dramatic disruptions. No coaching changes, contract disputes, money-grubbing by the owners or dare we say it... Mayan upheavals. A year to concentrate on football - win, lose or draw - so that at the end of 2012 we can look back at our first fully successful season. Or at least say "it's not the end of the world"
　
HAPPY 2012 TO ALL OF OUR READERS... EVEN YOU MAYANS.

THE RUMOUMETER - December 30, 2011



Welcome to The Yorkies' regular off-season rumour roundup - "The Rumoumeter". Too busy to keep your TFC ear to the ground every week? Just stop by the site and we will quickly show you what rumours are hot - and which ones have hit the back burner. Some of the rumours have weight - others little more than whispers; we take their temperature with... "The Rumoumeter"...

REDS HOT!

EL SALVADOR INT'L DEFENDER VICTOR TURCIOS TO TRIAL WITH TFC IN JANUARY IF EURO TRIALS FAIL TO LAND HIM CLUB?

EX-CHICAGO FIRE POLISH DEFENDER KRZYSZTOF KROL HEADED TO TORONTO IN JANUARY?

3-YEAR JOAO PLATA SHARED CONTRACT TO BE FINALIZED AFTER NEW YEAR?

LDU QUITO DEFENDER GEOVANNY CAICEDO TO JOIN TFC ON YEAR LONG LOAN?

SERBIAN SIDE FK VOJVODINA SNIFFING AROUND TFC ACADEMY PROSPECT STEFAN VUKOVIC?

SCUNTHORPE LEADING CHASE FOR ECKERSLEY?

REDS' FRUSTRATION AT LACK OF QUALITY OFFERS FROM MLS CLUBS FOR STEFAN FREI?

PROPOSED PABLO VITTI RETURN TO TFC DIED QUICKLY WHEN PLAYER'S AGENT REVEALED HIGH SALARY EXPECTATION?

FROZEN PITCH!

Earl Cochrane's GM legacy complete as Sturgis heads to Houston

Currently considering trading TFC Academy for magic beans



For a brief period a little over a year ago, Earl Cochrane was in charge of Toronto FC lock, stock and Barrett. While Jurgen Klinsmann was busy searching the planet for the management team that would eventually be headed by Aron Winter, Cochrane had the keys to the player cabinet and even seemed to be in the running to grab the permanent GM job. Then of course he made his blockbuster deal.
　
After being left exposed for the Expansion Draft, MLS depth midfielder-defender Nathan Sturgis was selected by Vancouver in the Third Round of said draft. At some point over the following 24 hours, Earl Cochrane thought to himself that a player who at best would be considered depth at most MLS clubs, and had been left exposed in the Expansion Draft, suddenly became worthy of Toronto FC's 2011 SuperDraft First Round pick. Whitecaps, likely after their fit of giggles ended, jumped at the deal and Sturgis became a Red.
　
From the get-go, Sturgis seemed about as happy in interviews to be in Toronto as fans were to see the club's top pick go cross-country for him. While Caps' pick Michael Nanchoff has yet to bloom, if TFC would have held their pick they could currently own the likes of Fire defender Jalil Anibaba, MLS Rookie of the Year C.J. Sapong or promising Houston striker Will Bruin. Instead, The Reds got one year out of Sturgis who never came close to fitting into Winter's system and his 14 appearances went from mediocre to downright apathetic.
　
Tonight, Cochrane's grand experiment playing GM went full circle as Sturgis was traded to Houston Dynamo for those useless nuggets known as MLS Conditional Draft Picks - likely what he was worth one year ago. Why Cochrane was even allowed to be making deals in the midst of "an exhaustive GM search" we will never know but perhaps the deal will forever symbolize the "blind leading the blind" management style of TFC circa 2007-2010. At least we hope.
　
Oh... did we mention that Earl Cochrane is currently the "interim" Academy Director? Just sayin'.

"The Gents" with Stan Bentley - "Toss it all on the rubbish heap"



Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"

Hi Stan,
I'm trying to organize an epic New Year's Eve party. What's your most memorable New Year? Looking for inspiration! Chris - Toronto, ON
　
Old Stan loves a good New Year's bash! Most memorable one though? Let's have a think. Well one year my old Watford team mates Sammy Chung - you remember him, funny little Half-Englishman / Half-Chineseman - told me to visit him in the proud British colony of Hong Kong. It's a long flight on that BOAC DC-7 from Heathrow with connections in Constantinople, Bombay and Ceylon. I'm not the most patient flyer (despite the trolley dollys) so I had my chemist stir me up a pre-flight powdered elixir which I had with a G&T somewhere over Persia. By time Old Stan landed in Hong Kong I was still floating on clouds. Jumped in a rickshaw outside the airport and ended up in downtown HK - saw a place all lit up called "The Crystal Palace". Never been in a place so smoky. It definitely wasn't Selhurst Park. Chinese bird gave be a drink... I woke up sometime in mid-February. Don't remember nowt else about it. Very memorable.
　
Dear Stan,
I've put on a few extra pounds over Christmas. As a former professional footballer, how would you recommend going about shedding the fat? Thanks. Ron - Grimsby, ON
　
First of all, take what all these so called "experts" and "doctors" say and toss it all on the rubbish heap. One - stop eating all those fruits and greens! Full of useless sugars and belly-busting roughage. Hair of the dog Ronald! Start the day with a Full English fry-up, a healthy portion of chips with a battered sausage at lunch, a cup of jellied eels if you're peckish at tea-time then a nice roast beef supper. After all that, get your callisthenics in with a run down to your local; down a few pints of bitter; have a light jog home. Then - get out your film camera and watch the newsreel of the disgraceful 1959 FA Cup Final where Forest robbed Luton Town of the trophy. That's enough to make the most ironclad stomach sick all over. You'll feel thin in no time chubbsy!
　
Stan,
I have a wedding to attend in January and wonder if I should buy something from the couple's wedding registry or go for something more personal? Marg - Syracuse, NY
　
Why have I not heard of this? There is a central Couple's Wedding Registry? Orwell was right! Bloody communists - first firing a dog into the moon now they're tagging and tracking nuptials? Bastards! Well, since this wedding must be on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall I would recommend getting the unhappy couple a bucket and spade, a mining helmet, a pole vaulting set or a hot air balloon. Trick is hiding it all inside a cake. Bloody Stasi are nosey Parkers. If not - just get the groom earplugs. Even behind the Iron Curtain - a wife is still a wife. Cheers!
　
Have a problem, question or comment for Stan? Send Stan an email at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue  

THE STARTING 11: TFC Christmas gifts

Happy Boxing Day!



Boxing Day... not only the one day of the year that Maxim Usanov celebrates his hero, Soviet-era pugilist Ivan Drago, but the day where you look at all of your Christmas gifts and ask your loved ones... "do you still have the receipt?" It's not always quite as easy as gently hinting that the new Cosby sweater your dear Aunt Nora gave you "isn't quite you" though. When you get a gift from your boss for example, you often just have to grin and bear it. Even for our dear local football men The Toronto FC'ers - sometimes a forced grin and a thanks through gritted teeth has to be given when MLSE drops off their prezzies...
　
11. A GPS system for Andy Iro and Ty Harden with TFC's backline listed as "Home"
　
10. Marlies tickets all around
　
9. Giant sudoku book for Nathan Sturgis to pass the time while riding the bench next year
　
8. "I LOVE CANADA" T-Shirts for Jacob Peterson (stuck in customs)
　
7. A pack of limited edition orange Lamborghini ShamWows for Julian de Guzman
　
6. 34 skinny red ties for Aron Winter
　
5. The new Adidas platform shoe / football boot "Los Gigantos" for Joao Plata
　
4. A treasure map to the whereabouts of Elbekay Bouchiba
　
3. The full "Jingle Cats" Anthology for Nick Soolsma
　
2. A "# 1" jersey mistakenly given to both Kocic and Frei
　
1. A year's supply of black backwards caps for Torsten Frings

"Glory To Torsten Frings"

"Torsten played in Bethlehem Bremen"



SkyDome is being hung with wreaths, Stan Bentley has put on his festive gentleman's loungewear, The Rumoumeter is frozen this week by TFC's lack of activity and Collin Samuel just ate all the stuffing. With the holidays upon us, we want to take the time to join together with you, our cherished readers, for a classic Christmas carol sing-a-long in the key of "Hark The Herald Angels Sing"... but with a Bavarian twist.
　
"GLORY TO TORSTEN FRINGS"
　
Hark the drunken Reds' fans sing
"Glory to Torsten Frings!
Black tattoos and hair so wild
The midfield has been reconciled"
Joyful, all the sections cheer
Joining triumph, spilling beer
BMO Field in harmony...
"The saviour came from Germany"
Hark! The drunken Reds' fans sing
"Glory to Torsten Frings!"

Captain's armband he does wear
MLS forwards now beware!
Late in summer he arrived
The CCL we then survived
Came from Bremen on a free
Veiled in ballcap backwardly
Happy owners with star to sell
Frings, our DP plays so well
Hark! The drunken Reds' fans sing
"Glory to Torsten Frings!"
　
Hail the German midfield rock!
Other midfields we now mock!
Heart to TFC he brings
Tackling from the mid to wings
Playing hard's what he demands
Opening space for Koevermans
A World Cup hero yes it's true
The Captain in shirt 22
Hark! The drunken Reds' fans sing
"Glory to... Torsten Frings!"
　
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF OUR READERS!

Roof - There it is!

"This ain't our house!"



One of the worst kept cats in town is apparently out of the bag this afternoon. No, Nick Soolsma didn't visit the Humane Society - but John Molinaro at Sportsnet is reporting that Toronto FC will imminently announce that the Champions League Quarterfinal against LA Galaxy will be played at SkyDome.
　
The location of the big match-up between the MLS rivals has been argued back and forth between SkyDome (aka The New Owner's Centre) and BMO Field since the March 7th fixture was announced. Opinion has been fairly split down the middle between those who see SkyDome's 50K seats and warm confines in chilly March as the perfect recipe for a big event. On the other side of the coin, many purists, including TFC's Paul Mariner, sought the home field advantage (no matter what the temperature) of The Reds' own BMO Field.
　
It is uncertain if the recent ownership change which includes Rogers and their handy convertible stadium helped along the situation but as with all things MLSE - this deal will be about revenue and not "match experience". MLSE has proven a ghastly inability for marketing the Champions League and will no doubt be unable to resist the temptation to overprice tickets at SkyDome. While a 50K papering of the stadium a la Montreal Impact's Big O experience is possible - we will bet on an apathetic mid-20K's attendance which will look and sound bush league in the cavernous confines of the CN Tower's loose partner.
　
Supporters groups will apparently be housed in SkyDome's lower south end and will no doubt bring their A-Game but as anyone who has experienced other footy matches at the stadium will know - one loud area won't make up for thousands of empty, overpriced seats. It will be up to MLSE to prove us wrong and market (as well as price) this match correctly. Now... if we could just sign two defenders, an attacking midfielder and another striker we could get in the spirit of the CCL season.

UPDATE: The official announcement from TFC...


Look out for President Obama at the 1:00 mark... dude loves the CCL

"The Gents" with Stan Bentley - "Care for her, pamper her and listen to her needs"



Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"

　
Hi Stan,
I have to attend a Christmas party this week but I have a problem. My ex will be there too and it will be the first time I've seen her in ages. Should I talk to her or just keep my distance? It will be so awkward! Niko - Richmond Hill, ON
　
Pish posh, jolly old Saint Niko - time to forgive and forget over the Holidays! But, if you think that's awkward - you should have seen Old Stan's face back in '65 at the Bristol Rovers alumni Christmas do. We had to put on a pantomime for all the kiddies in the crowd and of course I was asked to play one of the wise men. Now who should end up next to me as bloody Balthazar but tricky outside left Peter Hooper?! I dropped my myrrh all over me curly boots. Peter and I never got along see - and now we had to tend to the tiny Messiah together! Now that's awkward. Silly old Hooper - played internationally for Kenya of all countries! Kenya! Didn't even know they had football outside of elephants kicking them about for tourists. Pachyderms - marvellous beasts, Niko. Tough hides, good memories and can dribble a novelty football. More than I can say about that bastard Hooper. Glad that set you straight.
　
Dear Stan,
I really enjoy your column and am very impressed with your wise and insightful answers. Tell us, what was the best relationship advice you ever received? Keep up the good work! Judy - Toronto, ON
　
Oh lass - flattery will get you everywhere (send me a telegram with your local telephone exchange directory) I'm happy to pass on some sage advice I once got - from a medical professional no less! It helped me keep the fires of my most rewarding relationship last well into her golden years. I was told: "Care for her, pamper her and listen to her needs. Cherish her as your trusted friend and she will never leave your side. Buy her the finest cuts of beef and be sure to keep her coat shiny and soft" Oh Gladys... she was with Old Stan well into her 80's. Which is about 12 in people years for Golden Retrievers. That vet also told me some advice about ringworm but I didn't write down that bit. Stay in touch Judith!
　
Hello Stan,
I'm a terrible last minute shopper and have no idea what to buy my brother for Christmas! As a "gent" yourself, could you share your Christmas wish list with us to help give me some ideas? Thanks and Merry Christmas! Tina - Barrie, ON
　
Bit of a procrastinator are you Tina? Well I wouldn't normally do this but since you sound like a bit of a go'er here is a sampling of the list I send in the Royal Mail to the women in my life...

•  a gentleman's moustache comb and facial hair wax kit
•  ivory
•  sensible underpants (sanctioned by the Royal Air Force)
•  an anonymous lump of coal sent to that bastard Peter Hooper
•  opium
•  an evening dressing gown (in brushed flannel or mink)
•  the telephone number to Chris Waddle's barber
•  a boat
•  an invite to a Stewardess Party
•  Peace on Earth and/or a new hunting rifle

Any of those 10 things will surely suit any man in your life Tina. By the way, any chance you work for an airline?
　
Merry Christmas to all of my readers… and the sexy stews out there. God Bless you all... especially Air France girls.
　
Have a problem, question or comment for Stan? Send Stan an email at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue

THE STARTING 11: TFC TV Holiday Specials

The Netherlands' # 1 feline holiday celebrity - Suarez Soolsma

One of the great things about the Holiday Season is the nightly treat of festive television specials. From claymation to variety specials and all things puppet-related in-between, December is a cornucopia of sugary TV treats. Now that our dear playoff-phobic elves Toronto FC are 75% owned by broadcast giants, it is inevitable that in the name of "content", The Reds will join this Yuletide tradition. With Sportsnets, GolTV's and TSNesses to be stuffed like stockings; TFC will be expected to put out their share of quality family holiday entertainment...

　
11. The Ontario Teachers' Pension Fund presents: "Scrooge" - a BellGlobe Media / Rogers Communications Co-Production
　
10. "Deck the Jeremy Hall"
　
9. "Bob de Klerk'sh Shexshy Amshterdam Krishtmash"
　
8. "Collin Samuel Eats Your Turkey"
　
7. Dwayne De Rosario's "I'll be Home... then in New York... then in D.C. for Christmas"
　
6. "Adrian Cann's Really, Really, Good-Looking Seasonal Soiree"
　
5. "Miracle on 34 Points"
　
4. "The Nutcracker: Mikael Yourassowsky Slide Tackles Santa"
　
3. "Elf - Joao Plata's Christmas in Quito"
　
2. "The Jacob Peterson All-American Freedom Xenophobic X-mas Jamboree" brought to you by Ford F-150, the National Rifle Association and Our Lord - The Baby Jesus Christ
　
1. "St. Nick Soolsma's Meowy Christmas for Cats"

THE RUMOUMETER - December 16, 2011

 

Welcome to The Yorkies' regular off-season rumour roundup - "The Rumoumeter". Too busy to keep your TFC ear to the ground every week? Just stop by the site and we will quickly show you what rumours are hot - and which ones have hit the back burner. Some of the rumours have weight - others little more than whispers; we take their temperature with... "The Rumoumeter"...
　

REDS HOT!

STEFAN FREI LIVERPOOL TRAINING STINT ALSO A SHOWCASE FOR HANDFUL OF ENGLISH CHAMPIONSHIP CLUBS?

TOSCHAK AND NEELY DEPARTURES SEEN AS POWER MOVES BY ARON WINTER TO PUT HIS OWN MEN IN SENIOR POSITIONS?

TFC LOOKING AT JOAO PLATA'S FORMER LDU QUITO TEAMMATE GEOVANNY CAICEDO AS DEFENSIVE COVER?

TRIO OF ENGLISH LEAGUE ONE CLUBS LINING UP JANUARY TRANSFER BIDS FOR ECKERSLEY?

JIM BRENNAN, DANNY DICHIO ACADEMY POSITIONS ON THIN ICE?

FROZEN PITCH!

"The Gents" with Stan Bentley - "Before you know it - a lovely pie!"

Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"

　
Dear Stan,
I am really enjoying FIFA 12, but I find it damn near impossible to adjust from Semi-Pro difficulty to Professional difficulty. I can't seem to defend that well in Professional difficulty and it's really hard for me to get a shot on goal. What kind of expertise would you give for this situation? Michael - Oakville, ON
　
Pip-pip Michael, you have struck a real chord with Old Stan with this one. The boys down at FIFA are a jolly good bunch and I've spent more than a few Sunday afternoons knee-deep with them. It's been a while so I didn't realize they instituted a Semi-Pro and Professional classification but I assume it has something to do with the size of the catch? "Shot on goal" is also a funny term for getting a biggun but they all end up "in a net" - so I like it! I'm still mates with prolific striker Ray Crawford and some other chaps down in Suffolk so if you like, I can get some of the lads from FIFA (The Federation of Ipswich Fly Anglers) to give you a ring on the blower. Keep fishing Michael!
　
Hi Stan,
I'm really not much of a gourmet but need to whip up a holiday dinner. Can you please give me your best recipe? Much appreciated - Len - Auburn Hills, MI
　
It's true Len, Stan loves a good slap-up meal. I've had the privilege of eating in some fine establishments anywhere from Torquay to Carlisle. Here's a recipe for a winner... "Bentley's Christmas Pie". First the ingredients...
- 2 bushels of leeks; a quart of high-quality Thames eels; a half-yard of streaky bacon; a pint of Derbyshire Cream; a farmer's hat of crumbled barley; and, a pinch of Yugoslavian brandy.
- Once you've got these ingredients, tell your wife and/or secretary where they are; then, find a good film to watch on the telly; and before you know it - a lovely pie!
- Serves 3 to 17 people. Enjoy!
　
Stan,
I've recently started online dating. I've been chatting with a woman for a while now but a bit worried about taking it farther. She looks great in her profile, we are both TFC fans and seem to get along really well. Just wondering if you know of any checks I can do before agreeing to meet. Thanks for your help, love your column.... Trey - Mississauga, ON
　
Checks? You've come to the right place Trey. Is that short for Treymond by the way? Hey-ho, Stan knows about meeting new ladies on the line. I used to take the Metropolitan Line tube up to Watford most match days. Lovely ginger bird used to get on at Finchley Road station. I could tell she liked the look of Old Stan and so I offered her a boiled sweet and got chatting. Let's just say that before the train reached Harrow-on-the-Hill, Stan was an expert in dating on the line. Huzzah! If you want to be careful though boy, ask this new lass to show you her passport, a letter from her vicar and a notarized record of her recent vaccinations. Reminds me, have to pop out and get an ointment from the chemist. That night out after the friendly against Sparta Prague is still haunting me. Czechs! Good luck, Treymond.
　
Have a problem, question or comment for Stan? Send Stan an email at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue

THE STARTING 11: Ways that TFC will be different under Bell and Rogers

"Ugh, my iPhone is stuck on the UNHOLY setting"



The dust has settled over Bay Street since Friday's dramatic announcement that Bell and Rogers were buying major shares of Maple Leaf Sports and "Entertainment". A few things became evident by watching the glad-handing press conference: Bell and Rogers may be in bed over this deal - but they do not enjoy each other's company; the deal is 99% about getting corporate boxes at Leafs games; and, TFC are the equivalent of "the player to be named later" in the deal. Our beloved Reds were indeed little more than an asterix during the presser, with Larry Tanenbaum even having to be reminded of the name of the league's trophy. In fairness "MLS Cup" is pretty difficult to remember. Despite TFC not being the jewel of the MLSE crown, the ownership change will bring inevitable changes to BMO Field....
　
11. Referees' whistle replaced with Rogers' "Da-da-dum-dum" noise
　
10. Chip Buttys now available on the iPhone
　
9. TFC supporters legally allowed to mock Whitecaps fans that "we own 37.5% of your shirts"
　
8. Bob de Klerk constantly haranguing fans over the benefits of Fibre Optic Internet service
　
7. Sportsnet and TSN anchors to bare-knuckle box during halftime
　
6. TFC's Front Office replaced by Indian call centre
　
5. Jim Brennan comes to your house to install your PVR
　
4. Extra Time to be anytime during 9AM and 5PM
　
3. Ty Harden to be dealt for spool of coaxial cable
　
2. BMO Field security allowed to "bundle your package"
　
1. Soolsma On Demand

THE RUMOUMETER - December 9, 2011

Welcome to The Yorkies' regular off-season rumour roundup - "The Rumoumeter". Too busy to keep your TFC ear to the ground every week? Just stop by the site and we will quickly show you what rumours are hot - and which ones have hit the back burner. Some of the rumours have weight - others little more than whispers; we take their temperature with... "The Rumoumeter"...
　

REDS HOT!

NEW OWNERSHIP DEAL PAVES WAY FOR SKYDOME CCL - OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT EARLY NEXT WEEK?

IMMINENT JOAO PLATA CONTRACT TO BE SPLIT 50/50 BETWEEN TFC AND LDU QUITO?

REDS AGGRESSIVELY TRYING TO PACKAGE FREI AND 1ST ROUND PICK FOR ESTABLISHED MLS CB?

2011 DRAFT PICK EFRAIN BURGOS JR. IN REDS' PICTURE FOR 2012?

WAS STUART NEELY ACTUALLY NUDGED OUT OF TFC ACADEMY ROLE?

BURNLEY WANT FULL VALUE TRANSFER FEE FOR RICHARD ECKERSLEY?

ARON WINTER IDENTIFIED POTENTIAL NEW HEAD OF TFC ACADEMY DURING RECENT

TRIP TO THE NETHERLANDS?

FROZEN PITCH!

Rogers and Bell bundle their package

"Your call is important to us... please hold."



At the end of day there was no Arab Sultanate, no oil-rich Russian oligarch or even any American financiers. No, like a giant, wireless Voltron-like creature - Canada's two largest media giants, and bitter rivals, Rogers and Bell joined forces today to purchase 75% of Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment. The deal which will see the much-maligned Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan receive $1.2 Billion dollars suddenly creates one of North America's largest sports and media conglomerates along the lines of the Time-Warner Network and the YES Network - the New York Yankees based sports broadcast giant.
　
MLSE will still exist in name with Larry Tanenbaum managing to up his hold on the company to 25% while also holding on to his title of club governor to the NHL, NBA and MLS. Rogers and Bell will both own 37.5% of the company respectively while also agreeing behind the scenes on future broadcast sharing plans. While Rogers claims that their existing ownership of the Toronto Blue Jays is not officially part of this deal - in theory, an entity with many tentacles now controls four local sports clubs, three sporting facilities, valuable downtown real estate and a near monopoly over regional sports broadcast rights. It is a monumental deal no matter how you feel about its future prospects.
　
There will be advantages to the new structure once the OTPP officially hands over power next summer. MLSE will stay in Canadian hands, something which will please the patriots in the crowd; there will be revolutionary advances in wireless media options available to fans of the Leafs, Raptors and TFC; the continuing presence of Larry Tanenbaum will keep a fulcrum of power between the two faceless media giants; and, perhaps a silver lining for the sports fans, is the feeling that for the broadcasters to make the most profit out of this deal, their teams will need to be competitive and for the most part - winners.
　
On the other side of the coin of course there are fears. Did one giant anonymous profit-driven group step aside to be replaced by two anonymous profit driven groups? Will bitter rivals Bell and Rogers, as well as the mercurial Tanenbaum, eventually butt heads creating and air of chaos at MLSE? Is the groundwork being laid for a premium cost regional cable network which will house the broadcast rights for all of MLSE's clubs at a heavy cost to fans' wallets? Truly, only time will tell.
　
Being that our only real concern in this deal is the effect on Toronto FC, feelings are mixed. There will be the natural fear to think that TFC will now drop from its place as 3rd most important club down to 4th (with the Jays joining the family) and this may indeed be the case. However, the real aspect to watch will be if the groundwork being laid by TFC as a club, such as the Academy program etc., will be honoured going forward. You would have to hope that much of the structure of TFC as it exists now will be preserved but listening to Rogers' President Nasir Mohammed continually failing to mention TFC at today's press conference, as well as Tanenbaum forgetting the name of the MLS Cup, was worrying. The Leafs and Raptors were trumpeted as the jewels of the deal - let's hope TFC aren't relegated down to a multicultural marketing tool for cell phones and little else.
　
At the end of the day, things may not end up looking that different. Will the ownership still be a faceless unaccountable boardroom? Yes. Will we pay increasingly higher prices to attend matches as well as watch them at home? Yes. Will this deal really help bring trophies to the city's beleaguered sports fans? Rogers and Bell Customer Service is standing by.... please hold.

Reds mint midfielder Lambe

 A Lambe in Reds' clothing



Not baaaaad! Sorry, we promise that is one of the last couple of dozen lamb jokes we make... today. All for good reason though, as Toronto FC officially announced their first new recruit for 2012 today - tricky, young midfielder Reggie Lambe.
　
The 20-year old Bermudian international has been flirting with the English Championship since signing with Ipswich Town's youth program in 2009 - two years after his international debut with Bermuda at 16. Lambe is known for his agility and creativity but will need to disprove the usual naysayers who will point to his small frame in relation to the rough and tumble MLS.
　
After being cut loose by Ipswich earlier this year, Lambe appeared on Paul Mariner's radar - one that has quite a reach into the Caribbean football community. For Aron Winter, Lambe may prove to be a versatile addition to the roster who can fill in on the wing and sometimes in the centre of the park. "We are very happy to add a young and talented player like Reggie Lambe" said the Dutch Head Coach who then sadly failed to add "Lambe will have to show us his chops".
　
　
Up next... a special report - "Bermudian Midfielders: Masters of The Triangle Offence"
　
We already love you Reggie.... from a purely pun-related place.

"The Gents" with Stan Bentley - "A wink, a nod and an extra lump of sugar"

Welcome to "The Gents" with Stan Bentley - The Yorkies' regular advice column for our valued readers. Bring your modern day problems and have them answered by the most valued voice - a 1950's journeyman footballer. "Back of the net!"
　
Dear Stan,
I'm very attracted to a woman who I work with and get the feeling she feels the same. My office has a strict policy against co-workers dating but I really want to ask her out. What do you think of workplace romances? Thanks, Steve - Etobicoke, ON
　
Getting a little amorous between the filing cabinetry are we boy? Having a slice of ladycake where you get paid is always a sticky wicket lad. Back when I played for Barnet, there was a tea lady in the cafe at Underhill Stadium. Let's just say she gave Old Stan a wink, a nod and an extra lump of sugar in his cuppa... a real go'er in other words. After a team luncheon one day, I was going to ask her up the West End with me to the pictures. I'd just put down my bacon butty and was strolling over when the manager, Ted Crawford, grabbed me by the earhole and warned me off of any shenanigans. I steered clear, but the tea lady wasn't all too pleased with my sudden lack of interest. Couldn't get a proper cuppa for weeks. Went on the instant chicory coffee instead. Got the runs something awful... bloody Colombians. Good luck boy-o!
　
Hi Mr. Bentley,
I have to go to a potluck holiday dinner but have no idea what kind of dish to bring. Since I'm known amongst the guests as the resident Toronto FC nut, I thought I'd make something footy inspired. Any suggestions? Will - Maple, ON
　
Cheerio Willy! First of all, no need to call me Mr. Bentley - Sir will do fine. You’ve come to the right place chappie, Stan here is known as quite the gastronomic enthusiast and over the years has noted many standout dishes offered throughout the grounds of this great nation. Get your wife and/or secretary on one of these recipes right away... Being a winter party, you can't go wrong with lovely cup of bone-warming Bovril Mixture. That lovely brown libation goes down a treat on the terraces and would be the hit of any party! If you want to go a bit more up-market then I've got two words for you - seafood. Trot down to your fishmonger and go for jellied eels, some cockles & mussels or a lovely tin of smoked kippers. Stan starts off most mornings with a lovely dose of kippers. "Sausage of the Sea" they are. Empty tin of those on your nightstand will get the wife and/or secretary up and into the kitchen. Salutations!
　
Hi Stan,
I've got a problem. I'm getting married next summer and my fiancée has chosen a date right in the middle of the Euro 2012 tournament in Poland & Ukraine. How can I gently persuade her to move it? Rocco - Hamilton, ON
　
You are in quite the muddle aren't you pal? My first reaction is that weddings come and go but the Pan-European Footballing Championships only happen every four years. A real non-starter honestly. However, I think you may be mistaken... the Ukraine? Surely the tournament can't take place in the Soviet breadbasket! Are you sure that's not the East European Tractor Championships Rocco? If it is indeed being held in that wheat-filled gulag then your problems are solved. Just schedule your nuptials during the USSR vs. East Germany match. Khrushchev will never let the GDR leave with a win and either way, the television pictures won't be beamed over the Iron Curtain for days. East Germany - terrible football team, but the Trabant is a neat little motor. Congrats to you and your lovely wife-to-be.
　
Have a problem, question or comment for Stan? Send Stan an email at theyorkies1812@gmail.com or leave a message in the comments section below and it may be featured in a future issue

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC related programming for MLSE's proposed network

Theo and Danleigh Borman. Pre-Re-Entry Draft.

After testing the market for a potential sale of its MLSE assets, The Ontario Teachers' Pension Plan recently decided to take the sports and "entertainment" monolith off the market. Funny that four flailing sports teams without a major trophy (sorry NutCan) between them couldn't tempt a multi-billionaire. Oh well, recession and all of that. Stuck with their product but still looking to maximize revenue (we know, you are shocked), MLSE has floated the idea of setting up a premium regional cable TV network which in theory would house its clubs. One of the problems with such a venture is what this proposed network would show when a game wasn't on-air - especially programming to keep TFC supporters tuned in...

11. "Survivor: Re-Entry Draft"

10. "Dancing With de Klerks"

9. "North American Horror Story: MLS Kits of 1996"

8. "Coffee Talk - with Jimmy Brennan!"

7. "Still Waiting to be a Millionaire" with Dwayne De Rosario

6. "Iron Chef: Chef Samuel vs. Chef Gerba"

5. "Torsten Frings Stares at you for 22 Minutes"

4. "Tiny, Tiny, Tiny Talent Time" with Joao Plata

3. Danleigh Borman Presents: Re-runs of The Cosby Show to the sounds of Boyz II Men

2. "Cat Chat!" with Nick Soolsma and his kitty-cat Suarez

1. "Adrian Cann's Next Top Model"

And to our departing friend Danleigh Borman. May your days in New England be bright and may all your re-runs of Fresh Prince and Cosby be accompanied by accapella Philly harmony...

THE RUMOUMETER - December 2, 2011

Welcome to The Yorkies' regular off-season rumour roundup - "The Rumoumeter". Too busy to keep your TFC ear to the ground every week? Just stop by the site and we will quickly show you what rumours are hot - and which ones have hit the back burner. Some of the rumours have weight - others little more than whispers; we take their temperature with... "The Rumoumeter"...
　

REDS HOT!

　

REGGIE LAMBE TO SIGN WITH TFC IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS?

MLSE LOOKING TO CREATE REGIONAL CABLE TV NETWORK FOR LEAFS, RAPTORS AND TFC?

BURNLEY PLAYING HARDBALL OVER ECKERSLEY LOAN EXTENSION?

REDS TRACKING GAMBIAN KEEPER PA DEMBO TOURAY AS POSSIBLE STEFAN FREI REPLACEMENT?

IMPACT AIMING TO DRAW 50K AT THE BIG "O" FOR "401 DERBY" VS. TFC?

BMO FIELD TO BE EXPANDED TO 25K SEATS TO ACCOMODATE MAPLE LEAFS OUTDOOR MATCH?

ISRAELI STRIKER ROBERTO COLAUTTI ON TORONTO FC RADAR?

　

FROZEN PITCH!