THE STARTING 11: Recent changes in Toronto FC's dressing room

"Mr. Bojangles can partner me at CB boss"



To say the last few days have been a time of great change at BMO Field would be a major understatement. While most people familiar with The Reds are used to the revolving door with playing staff, the sheer amount of new faces in such a short period is still quite monumental. Such change affects the club at all levels of course but nowhere can it be felt as much as within the club's most inner sanctum - the dressing room...
　
11. "Hello My Name Is..." tags
　
10. Dan Gargan and Ty Harden's permanently packed suitcases
　
9. A countdown clock over Julian de Guzman's locker
　
8. "Lonely Planet: Nicaragua" guidebooks
　
7. Stickers on Danny Koeverman's boots saying "Pass Ball Here"
　
6. Dicoy Williams and Ryan Johnson's new pirate radio station
　
5. Intercity bus & train schedules
　
4. Joao Plata walking around like he's 5 Foot Tall
　
3. Torsten Frings giant ghetto blaster pumping out the sounds of hardcore "Oompah-Pah" and David Hasselhoff music
　
2. Andy Iro keeps breathing life into dead mice
　
1. 25 Copies of book "What to Expect when you Expect to be Traded"

Trillium transfer sees Tchani leave T.O.

Must have seen the weather forecast

Well, at least Tony Tchani won't have to Tweet about the strange Toronto weather patterns anymore. The young defensive midfielder, who was the main prize in the Dwayne De Rosario trade, was shipped to Trillium Cup rival Columbus Crew today in a multi-player deal as TFC's transfer window shuffle continues.
　
Strong English defender Andy Iro and mercurial French midfielder Leandre Griffit join TFC as the third and fourth new players to join the club in two days. Despite the number of new faces in such a quick period, the sudden glut of numbers in the midfield makes it easy to imagine that the dealing is yet to be done. While Iro fills a big hole in the back, Aron Winter & Co. will still want a steadier back-four and the phones are likely still ringing.
　
So, see you all here this time tomorrow?

Dunfield in, Nana out as TFC open transfer window wider (Now with 50% more trade!)

Same stadium - new red shirt



The Reds made a curious pair of deals today in that they both seem to represent the beginning of a path to change rather than a conclusion. The club officially announced the acquisition of 29-year-old Canadian international midfielder Terry Dunfield from Vancouver Whitecaps while a deal sending Nana Attakora to San Jose Earthquakes has been announced by the player, but at time of writing yet to be officially announced by TFC.
　
The feisty Dunfield, most famous in these parts for his recent goal at BMO Field with Canada, had seen his minutes and performance dwindle lately with Whitecaps. Highly regarded for his grit and work ethic, the Vancouver native can definitely add some depth in the midfield but his acquisition will raise loud(er) questions over the immediate future of Julian de Guzman. With Tony Tchani returning to health and DP Torsten Frings about to enter the fray, space may be limited in the middle of the pitch.
　
The departure of Nana Attakora is a disappointing ending to a TFC career which started on Day One and which many supporters thought would last for years to come. The young capped Canadian emerged as a solid MLS back last year and many expected him to jump from strength to strength this season. Yet, somehow Attakora fell afoul of the new TFC management through a bizarre combination of contract dispute, apparent sub-standard form and a rash of injuries. It is hard to comment fully on this deal until the details of what TFC is getting in return are confirmed but the glaring alarm on this transfer is that a team which is desperately in need of defence traded away a potential defensive stalwart. It is easy to imagine that both deals are the first steps towards even further flux at BMO Field.
　
UPDATES BELOW AS THEY BECOME AVAILABLE...

 4:15PM - Toronto FC have confirmed a very big deal. The Nana Attakora deal now includes Jacob Peterson and Alan Gordon who all head to San Jose in return for Jamaican international midfielder/forward Ryan Johnson. The move opens a number of roster spots as well as affecting cap space with more moves, especially defensive, no doubt in the pipeline.

THE STARTING 11: Positives of having a -19 goal difference



Ah, the GD. No, not "God damn" (although TFC's may make you blurt that) nor "Gerry Dobson" (although you may blurt "God damn, Gerry Dobson stop showing me TFC's GD!"). The GD we refer to today is of course "Goal Difference" (or differential if you're a high falutin' professor type. Nerd.) Currently Toronto FC has the worst GD in MLS at a whopping -19, a full -9 worse than the next most useless club. It is not a stat to be proud of and indicative of how the season has played out so far - but it's not all bad at the bottom of the plus/minus barrel...
　
11. Lack of goals equals big savings on confetti
　
10. A positive goal difference is so bourgeoisie
　
9. Defenders AND attackers can feel equally useless
　
8. You get a free goal with every 20 allowed!
　
7. Has helped heal Preki's wounded pride
　
6. Number matches projected BMO Field attendance in October
　
5. It means that Danny Koevermans only has to score 40 goals in half a season to give Reds a shot at being neutral
　
4. It’s an amazing mini-golf score!
　
3. MLSE launching "-19 Cents Off Selected Merchandise" sale
　
2. Number matches BMO Field's Opening Day temperatures
　
1. Makes the club's "-12 in 2012" season ticket renewal campaign look downright reasonable

AFTER 90: Der countdown läuft

No pressure Torsten



IN THE TUNNEL:

A few days after suffering one of the most humiliating losses in the club's history (and there's a few to choose from) TFC continued its "Places De Ro Played Tour". Tonight it was the always difficult Robertson Stadium - home of Houston Dynamo. Whether it would be the oppressive heat or the usual strong home form of the Orange Crush, TFC would be up against it with one game left B.F. (Before Frings)
　
ON THE PITCH:
1' - A glorious sunny Texas night in Houston. Players ready, space shuttle in orbit, guns holstered. Kick-off...
10' - Having Richard Eckersley forced into the CB role hurting forward movement out of the back as it did against New York
15' - 75 minutes Before Frings
19' - You really expect to see Marco Van Basten playing in those Houston kits
23' - Neither team owning possession but Houston looking slightly more business-like
28' - Dynamo MF Je-Vaughn (seriously) Watson tests Stefan Frei from long-range
31' - YELLOW CARD: Eckersley picks up his fifth warning after a rash tackle meaning he will be suspended vs. FC Dallas. A cardboard box being considered to play CB
40' - 50 minutes Before Frings
45' - A half mostly muddled in the midfield comes to an end with TFC's rag-tag defence managing to hold the few Dynamo efforts at bay
　
HALFTIME: HOUSTON 0 - TORONTO 0
　
50' - GOAL: Danny Cruz flies past Danleigh Borman at the end of a very fast Dynamo counter attack and easily beats Stefan Frei
HOUSTON 1 - TORONTO 0
55' - Decent attendance considering Houston was nuked back in 1996 by President Thomas J. Whitmore during the alien invasion
59' - SUB: A poor night for Danleigh Borman ends with a replacement by Gianluca Zavarise. Yourassowsky drops to the LB role
63' - YELLOW CARD: Alan Gordon warned after late challenge on Andre Hainault. The two have been at handbags all evening
65' - 25 minutes Before Frings
67' - YELLOW CARD: Mikael Yourassowsky for being Mikael Yourassowsky
68' - SUB: Jacob Peterson puts in a decent 70 minutes on his return to action and is replaced by Nick Soolsma
71' - Someone get TFC a cardiologist because there is no sign of heart on the pitch
75' - Nick Soolsma makes a great individual run into the Dynamo box but no finishers available to take advantage. Paging Danny Koevermans.
79' - Dual Dynamo attacks thwarted by two big saves from Frei
80' - GOAL: On the ensuing corner, the ball drops too easily to Geoff Cameron who seals the win for Houston
HOUSTON 2 - TORONTO 0
84' - 6 minutes Before Frings
88' - Houston fans chanting "Canada Sucks". Could be worse - they could just shoot us
90'+ - If there was a heart monitor on TFC, the ref's final whistle made it go completely flatline
　
FULL TIME: HOUSTON 2 - TORONTO 0
　
IN THE BATHS:
The most alarming thing about tonight's damp performance from Toronto was how they failed to pull up their bootstraps after taking a pasting in New York. While the lack of skill due to the combination of injury and just being a poor team are explainable - the tremendous lack of heart shown tonight must bother Aron Winter. While the usual suspects like Eckersley and Alan Gordon hustled as much as possible, their lollygagging teammates nullify any hard work. While we've joked about Frings and Koevermans' imminent arrival, can their pedigree change the spirit of this club? Or, are more massive changes needed. The transfer window countdown is indeed on.
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 6.5 / Dan Gargan 6 / Richard Eckersley 6.5 / Ty Harden 5 / Danleigh Borman 5 (Gianluca Zavarise 6) / Mikael Yourassowsky 6 / Tony Tchani 6 / Jacob Peterson 6 (Nick Soolsma 6.5) / Javier Martina 5.5 / Joao Plata 6 / Alan Gordon 6.5
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Alan Gordon. Barely.
TALKING POINT: Is a Frings actually two defenders? Discuss.

Major Torsten - the countdown's on

THE MATCHUP: "Houston we have etc. etc."

God speed L'il Danny



HOUSTON (12th) VS. TORONTO (16th)
　
ROBERTSON STADIUM - SATURDAY 8:30PM ET
TV: GOLTV
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Is there any way that TFC can repeat its May 7th performance against Houston where they won 2-1 and actually looked promising?
- Will Dynamo's attackers even notice whether or not Ty Harden is in the line-up?
- When will the "will he, won't he" de Guzman drama come to a head?
- If Dan Gargan continues to be average will his local backers continue to exalt him to Lionel Messi status?
- Is the following 10 days off more of a blessing for Toronto FC or for its supporters?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El Problemo"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
HOUSTON: Will Bruin, Brian Ching, Brad Davis
TORONTO: Richard Eckersley, Nick Soolsma, Nathan Sturgis
　
THE ODDS:
- Texan supporters un-ironically deriding TFC as "un-American": 2-1
- Winter & de Klerk getting patriotically weepy over Houston 80's-style Oranje kits: 25-1
- NASA looking for new monkeys to send into outer space - contacting Toronto FC: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- When Dynamo move out of their current home Robertson Stadium, the venue has been earmarked to host local events such as Children's Tractor Pull, Warren Moon's XXX Square Dancing League and "Electric Chair Sundays"
- On the topic of Houston's new stadium, many assume that Dynamo Stadium will be named after the team but it is actually named after famous Texan Running Man "Dynamo". R.I.P.
- Houston, famous for its Space Program as well as its citizens' love for firearms, has combined the two loves for a post-match "Shoot at the Moon Night". Those attending the Dynamo v TFC match are invited to come onto the pitch and try to shoot into Earth's orbit. Closest shot gets a high-powered assault rifle autographed by Dynamo coach Dominic Kinnear!
　
THE WAGER: 2-0 Houston (2011: 16-9 with 4 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "COUNTDOWN TO 2012 AS REDS HAVE FAILURE TO LAUNCH"

AFTER 90: Reds get a wake up in the city that never sweeps

Harrison, NJ - drink it in.



IN THE TUNNEL:
A fine night at one of North America's finest football stadiums. Despite the excitement of playing in one of the world's greatest cities (well, it's bombed out post-apocalyptic suburb at least) TFC has rarely had a good time in the Big Apple's shadow. Oh well, at least De Ro's not there to rub any salt in the wounds. Can TFC overcome the 10-1 outscoringing (English be fun!) in the last 3 matches vs. NYRB? Will Kid N' Play be at pitch-side like a welfare Jay-Z? Get your inhaler we're going to The Garden State!
　
ON THE PITCH:
1' - The glorious $200 Million dollar Red Bull Arena would be such a good stadium with fans in it. Kick-off...
9' - Joao Plata starting where he left off against Vancouver forcing a corner after driving at goal
15' - Both clubs marching back and forth taking sharp shots at each other. Nick Soolsma followed right after by NYRB's Luke Rodgers
18' - Dan Gargan is marking Thierry Henry. More on this later surely.
25' - No C-List hip-hop stars spotted yet at Red Bull Arena
28' - Henry, Lindpere, Rodgers, Richards and Tainio - NYRB are filthy with offensive riches
30' - Soolsma slides achingly close but can't direct a Gargan cross past the giant gloves of Greg Sutton
33' - GOAL: TFC's brittle defence opened up by the quality of Thierry Henry who walks in and easily slots one past Stefan Frei
NEW YORK 1 - TORONTO 0
37' - GOAL: Reds unable to regroup as Luke Rodgers blasts a beautiful volley past Frei while Ty Harden looks on confused
NEW YORK 2 - TORONTO 0
40' - News that Big Daddy Kane was buying a slushee in the Red Bull Arena mezzanine yet to be verified
45' - NYRB's Joel Lindpere sends a screamer of a free kick past Frei as TFC's defence looks frightened of the ball. Somehow the goal is called off on a very dubious call which TFC will take as they run away for the interval
　
HALFTIME: NEW YORK 2 - TORONTO 0
　
45' - SUB: Danleigh Borman off for Ashtone Morgan. Sure. Why not?
46' - Sadly there was no halftime performance by Heavy D
51' - GOAL: Javier Martina hits the post but as TFC stands around licking their wounds, Joel Lindpere marches up the field and easily beats Frei. Good grief.
NEW YORK 3 - TORONTO 0
56' - SUB: Matt Stinson in for an underwhelming Tony Tchani. Meh.
60' - Kool Moe Dee spotted in upper deck... selling hot dogs
65' - NYRB's Juan Agudelo almost scores if not for The Goalblerone’s fingers...
66' - GOAL: He obviously doesn't like missing. On the ensuing corner Agudelo beats Harden easily and heads past Frei. Ugly.
NEW YORK 4 - TORONTO 0
67' - : SUB: Mikael Yourassowsky off for Gianluca Zavarise. Uh-huh.
71' - 2/3 of De La Soul seen giggling behind Stefan Frei
77' - If there were fans at Red Bull Arena, the "oles" would be deafening - TFC can't get a touch
82' - TFC has gone on late-match hiatus
85' - Two members of 3rd Bass just bought Henry shirts
88' - GOAL: Juan Agudelo picks apart Harden and flicks past Frei
NEW YORK 5 - TORONTO 0
90'+ - Much like BDP Posse's career. Over.
　
FULL TIME: NEW YORK 5 - TORONTO 0
　
IN THE BATHS:
In a way, a miserable loss that tempers the boisterous spirits of TFC may not be so bad. The club and its supporters have been buzzing over the last week about the Vancouver double, the NutCan and the DP signings but tonight's dismantling in Harrison was illuminating. Despite having Frings and Koevermans on their way, it is clear that TFC is still a very long way from competing with the best in this league and the silver lining of having their asses handed to them will be that there is no denying that. The recent good vibes may have tempted Reds' management to rest on their laurels but there can be no doubt that the transfer window still needs to be held wide open.
　
PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 6 / Dan Gargan 6 / Richard Eckersley 6 / Ty Harden 4 / Danleigh Borman 5.5 (Ashtone Morgan ) / Nathan Sturgis 6 / Tony Tchani 5 (Matt Stinson 6 ) / Mikael Yourassowsky 5.5 ( Gianluca Zavarise ) / Javier Martina 5.5 / Nick Soolsma 6 / Joao Plata 6
　
THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH: Nathan Sturgis. Why not?
TALKING POINT: It was just a re-run. Discuss

THE MATCHUP: Bullish Reds aim to extend energy boost

"The Champagne of Football Clubs"



NEW YORK (6TH) VS. TORONTO (16TH)
　
RED BULL ARENA - WEDNESDAY 8PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
- Can TFC extend the momentum from their Vancouver double into Red Bull Arena?
- Will The Reds' injury-plagued defence be able to hold off an NYRB that has outscored TFC 10-1 in their last 3 meetings?
- Could Toronto get a break from the NYRB star-power with Thierry Henry and Rafael Marquez nursing slight injuries?
- Is time running out for Julian de Guzman to prove his "DP-ness"?
- If I drink 5 cans of Red Bull will this report be better than usual?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME: "El DeRosariNo"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
NEW YORK: Joel Lindpere, Dax McCarty, Teemu Tainio
TORONTO: Julian de Guzman, Nick Soolsma, Mikael Yourassowsky
　
THE ODDS:
- Either club re-acquiring Dwayne De Rosario only to then ship him out for future prospects: 20-1
- NYRB's strong 2nd Half performances being linked to halftime oranges soaked in Red Bull: 30-1
- Instead of Jay-Z at courtside, NYRB to invite Kid 'N Play to sit in upper deck: 50-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
- Profit conscious Toronto FC considered a beverage-sponsored re-brand with leading name-change candidates being "Toronto Pop Shoppe City", "Slurpee Wednesday" and "FC Canada Dry Toronto"
- Red Bull Arena's hometown of Harrison, NJ is an ancient village first founded by Viking explorers from Scandinavia's Harrison Fjord region. The modern day city is affectionately known as "Newark's Doormat" and its main exports include window bars, abandoned shopping carts and Snake Plissken
- Weeknight matches at Red Bull Arena have a 10:30PM curfew as that is when The Warriors come out to play
　
THE WAGER: 2-0 NYRB (2011: 15-9 with 4 exact scores)
FUTURE HEADLINE: "FREE RED BULL IN PRESS BOX - OMG!THereWASthisguYandHEscoredaGOAAALLandstuFF - WHOOOOO!!!"

THE STARTING 11: Perks of winning the NutCan three times in a row

"I say, one believes Vancouver to never get a NutCan. God Save Me."



Two days later and we've still got NutCan buzz! Some have advised to seek medical attention, possibly an ointment, but we care not. It's thrice as nice! Yes, in the grand scheme of world football winning the Voyageurs Cup isn't exactly the Jules Rimet but for suffering Reds supporters it was a sweet and almost fated victory. A great game to top off the best version of the NutCan tournament so far and an extra thumbed nose at our "perfect" cousins from the west coast. However, winning the NutCan means more than just a chance to hoist some silverware - there are a few sweet perks that go with being 3-time winners...
　
11. The cup comes filled with Mini Kit Kat bars
　
10. You get to shake hands with Prince William... but not Kate
　
9. Trophy counts as a passenger on 407 Toll Highway
　
8. FC Edmonton has to be your butler for a year
　
7. Team gets to represent Canada in the 2011/12 CONCACAF Champions League... and 2012 Miss Universe Pageant
　
6. It forces the Whitecaps to talk about SoccerBowl '79 for at least one more year
　
5. Get to hang out with the US Open Cup winners at all the hottest new nightspots
　
4. Nutrilite supplements up the ying-yang
　
3. Invited to torch the ceremonial first car at the next Vancouver riot
　
2. Allowed to fill trophy with pot pourri - put in team bathroom
　
1. Can order the illusive "Triple-Double" at Tim Hortons

AFTER 90: Once, twice... three times a NutCan

See those three Maple Leafs Whitecaps? Yeah, those are ours.



IN THE TUNNEL:
No signs of torrential rains or other biblical wraths on the horizon as the two clubs make their way onto a hot and hazy BMO Field. The Canadian Championship and a spot in CONCACAF Champions League is on the line as familiar foes, TFC and Whitecaps, conclude what started more than a month ago. With a 1-1 aggregate, it was all to play for...

ON THE PITCH:
1' - A smaller than usual, but louder than recent, crowd roars Toronto on and hopes that the karma stays on The Reds' side. Kick-off...
10' - The Reds look a little vulnerable on the Dan Gargan-side of the defence as Whitecaps test the waters in TFC's third
13' - A 3/4 full crowd with a 3/4 higher volume than usual
15' - Maicon Santos can only manage to hit the side netting after running out of space after receiving a long range Joao Plata pass
17' - SUB: Maicon Santos hobbles off - replaced by Javier Martina
21' - GOAL: Camilo Sanvezzo silences the crowd after curling a beautiful free kick around the TFC wall and past Stefan Frei. Despite the softness off the penalty call, the goal was class
TORONTO 0 - VANCOUVER 0 (1-2 Agg.)
22' - Molotov cocktails put back in cupboards across Vancouver
25' - TFC find their composure and attack Whitecaps in a flurry with Julian de Guzman hitting the post followed by a scramble which saw Caps' keeper / adult video legend Joe Cannon make numerous stops
32' - Plata buzzes around Cannon forcing a save. Specialist video.
40' - Groans of anguish around Toronto as Javier Martina catches Cannon way out of net and seemingly directs the ball into the Vancouver goal. Seemingly because Caps' defender Jay DeMerit slides the ball off the line. Anguish because half the stadium and most cameras saw the ball cross the goal line. Starting to feel like karma has swung westward.
44' - As the halftime beckons, there is a sense of cosmic doom floating through the stands. Surely the God wouldn't do this after washing out the original fixture?

HALFTIME: TORONTO 0 - VANCOUVER 1 (AGG. 1-2)

45' - Worried faces in the crowd want TFC to come out flying... or massive tornadic activity to roll in
46' - The Reds do indeed fly out of the gates as "El MosQuito" Joao Plata dribbles a shot that teases the Vancouver line but doesn't beat Cannon. I know, too many entendres
50' - PENALTY: Plata is brought down in the Caps' box and coolly steps up to take the kick... and NO! Groans, bad karma and filthy swearing rain out as the NutCan looks headed westward... but wait... the officials claim that Joe Cannon got off too quickly (his line pervs) and Plata would get a do-over. The Ecuadorian Cucumber stepped up again and this time - GOAL: slotted it past Cannon
TORONTO 1 - VANCOUVER 1 (AGG: 2-2)
51' - Fires, looting reported throughout downtown Vancouver
56: SUB: Injured Ty Harden off for Tony Tchani who moves into the defensive back four
58' - Vancouver Lululemon stores smashed. Hot Yoga cancelled
61' - GOAL: All from the feet off Plata as the youngster's cross finds the foot of Mikael Yourassowsky who becomes the rarest of things - a Belgian folk-hero!
TORONTO 2 - VANCOUVER 1 (AGG: 3-2)
63' - Army called into Vancouver as SkyTrains overturned, armed gangs go granola crazy at Whole Foods, dogs & cats living together... mass hysteria!
70' - TFC managing to avoid temptation to go into defensive turtle
80' - Starting to turtle just a wee bit
84' - SUB: de Guzman off for Doneil Henry... ok, now they're turtling
90'+ - Whole stadium holding breath can't be healthy but TFC are scrapping and fighting defensively with a lot of heart...
90'+ - CHAMPIONS! BMO Field erupts in a way we haven't seen in a long time

FULL TIME: TORONTO 2 - VANCOUVER 1
(AGGREGATE 3-2)

IN THE BATHS:
For many of us who put up with the cold, the colder, the wet, the wetter, the scorching heat and a lot of dodgy football, it's these days when we remember why. A true roller coaster of emotion from frustration, to anger, to joy, to panic and finally exhausted elation - watching Toronto FC lift their third consecutive Voyageur's Cup felt very cathartic. This week with its wins, huge signings and now silverware feels like the dawn of the "new TFC" that we were promised. Who knows - the euphoria may be short-lived but it felt great for one day and gives us a reason to learn more about Nicaragua. For Vancouver supporters, this year's NutCan will go down as yet another perceived injustice for the team who just can't get their hands on the prize but history will only remember TFC's name emblazoned thrice. That and the riots.

PLAYER RATINGS: Stefan Frei 6.5 / Dan Gargan 6.5 / Richard Eckersley 6.5 / Ty Harden 6 (Tony Tchani 6.5) / Danleigh Borman 6.5 / Mikael Yourassowsky 7 / Nathan Sturgis 6 / Julian de Guzman 6.5 (Doneil Henry - ) / Nick Soolsma 6 / Maicon Santos 6 (Javier Martina 7) / Joao Plata 8

THE YORKIES' MAN OF THE MATCH: Joao Plata
TALKING POINT: Has Nicaragua ever seen a Torsten Frings? Discuss