THE SOUTH STAND REPORT : Toronto v Los Angeles... or Aaaaaaah, finally no dome, no turf

I know, this needs to be updated.  Hopefully they'll sign someone equally rediculous to make it easier on me.

Springtime in Toronto.  Is it here?  To be fair, it's not important as long as it FEELS like spring by kick-off and maintains its springness until the final whistle.  If mother nature wants to do a heel-turn and make a blizzard by 4:30, so be it.

The circus-free Galaxy have gone 2-0-1 early in the season with Mike "Who" Magee leading the league in goals with 4.  It feels cheap for me to review the stats and standings after 3 matches.  Only by match 10 will we know how grim things truly are.

After the whuppin' by Montreal (and lets be fair, aside from a 30 minute display where they looked great, there was not much to celebrate), the respite gives them more time to tweak and tinker. Plenty to be optimistic about.

Starting XI

Bendik

Russell - O'Dea - Califf - Eckersley

Bostock - Dunfield - Hall - Lambe

Ephraim - Earnshaw

16' - GOAL - A very pretty pass carving the back four finds Magee who taps one past Bendik for his fifth of the campaign.
ROBINS 0 - BECKHAMS 1

21' - Magee is already sniffing for a second as he gets his head on a well floated cross, but Bendik makes a fantastic save from no more than 3 yards out.

29' - GOAL - Los Angeles completely mishandles a pass to one of their defenders allowing Earnshaw to poke at it.  Cudicini charges out to race for the ball, but Robbie gets to it first, pushes it past the keeper and then floats one in from 20 yards out.  Spectacular!
ROBINS 1 - BECKHAMS 1

36' - Bostock cross pitch to Lambe who gets into the penalty area and has a go only to bury it into the side netting.  Close...

Quote of the match:

Do these guys even practice?

~ my brother at his first TFC game
regarding the home side's midfield

Half-Time Mood : Still optimistic.  At this point, we've realized that every goal scored this season has been the direct (or indirect) result of a counter attack.  Indirect due to the penalties.  So we're like a mediocre Manchester United. Editor's note: Don't forget to have a go at him in the comments, you know you want to.

52' - YELLOW - Califf goes into the box for looking a little bit too much like the lead singer from Reel Big Fish. (sue me, I love ska...)

55' - Lambe delivered a cross which found Bostock's head and popped it back into the path of Earnshaw but Cudicini caught it.  Fun stuff.

62' - Landon Donovan first touch from a through ball and his shot is right at Bendik.

64' - SUB - Dunfield comes off for Osorio.  This substitution would've taken place closer to the 80th minute, if this were year 3.

69' - O'Dea misses an opportunity at becoming a league wide legend by NOT pummelling Donovan after a two-handed shove. Because Landycakes is the teacher's league's pet, no card.

72' - SUB - Ephraim comes off for Silva

78' - GOAL - a floated pass towards Earnshaw has him one-foot donkey kick it to Silva who then stepovers and stepovers and then lays off to Osorio who slots a slow ball into the far netting catching Cudicini way off his line.  Brilliant!
ROBINS 2 - BECKHAMS 1

89' - Looks like Agbossoumonde is about to come on but play continues until...

3 minutes of extra time

90+1' - GOAL - SONOVABITCH!  Russell collects a cross the Toronto penalty area and heads it back into the middle where Villareal scissor kicks it past a helpless Bendik from 8 yards out.
ROBINS 2 - BECKHAMS 2

90+3' - Bostock successfully battles his way into a corner kick scenario.  Ensuing kick is headed away and there goes the whistle...

Full Time : Toronto 2, Los Angeles 2

Man of the Match : It's tough as Earnshaw was a terror, and O'Dea was very good, but Bendik was the difference between a draw and a blow out.

Goat of the Game : Though Dunfield's presence was minimal and ineffective, Hall's presence was greater and even more ineffective.

Ref Rating : 3 out of 5.  There weren't many blown calls, but blown opportunities to show cards.

I'm Not The Gaffer But... : Russell looked more like a stopgap defender than someone who plays there naturally.  If he's a winger, I move him to his natural wing side (which appears to be the right), Ecks on his regular right side, I move Bostock to central attacking midfield and let him play the diagonals much like DeRo does, and leave Dunfield as a centre mid, 4-3-1-2 style.

Hall doesn't impress me, but at least Nelsen was willing to make changes earlier by swapping Dunfield.  If there's a winning combination of central mids, keep tinkering, but Hall/Dunfield should not be the default.  Hopefully Osorio made a strong case for himself.

Lambe definitely stepped up his game.  He was taking chances, playing aggressively but was far from perfect, but certainly improved.  Perhaps he sees the writing on the wall but if that's what gets him to play better, find bigger walls to write on as it worked.  I thought I was crazy but @kzknowles saw it too so either we're both batshit insane or correct.

The top of section 117 is a joy.  Our new home is quiet, Tribal Rhythm Nation notwithstanding.  We could barely hear the antiquated Dichio chants.  To our friends in 113, stay strong and migrate when you can.

Player ratings : Bendik 7.5, Russell 6, O'Dea 7, Califf 6.5, Eckersley 6, Bostock 6, Dunfield 5.5 [Osorio 7], Hall 5.5, Lambe 6.5, Ephraim 6 [Silva N/A], Earnshaw 7

@ignirtoq was once a manager in an adult money league. The side was terrible and the money man of the side insisted that his THIRTEEN YEAR OLD pudgy son was the LONE STRIKER.  Needless to say we didn't score too many goals.  Otherwise, he's not half bad at FIFA13

Julio Cesar released, wall of honour announcement forthcoming

Find me a pic of him in a red kit and I'll swap it... better yet don't.

Well, in what can only be assumed that it was a move prompted by taking advantage of the vacuum of a slow news day, Toronto FC as released Julio Cesar.

Allow us to start the rumour that he was just tired of being confused for all of the other Julio Cesars that are out there, but the greater liklihood was to free up an international slot in the squad.  At 34 years of age, there isn't much long term upswing for him.  More will likely follow, but at least it wasn't for getting arrested for public intoxication or making a cheque signing gesture, so there's a plus.

There would have been a "video" of his playing days as a Robin, but realizing that he hasn't played a minute, finding an image of him sitting on the bench is tough enough.

Nevertheless, we will remember him fondly...

THE MATCHUP: The stage is set

It's mostly cardboard



TORONTO VS. LOS ANGELES

BMO FIELD - SATURDAY 2PM
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Three weeks after playing at the "Dome where ankles fear to tread", TFC finally hosts its true home opener on the grounds of MGM Presents: Exhibition Place & Casino" (Pending). With MLS now adopting the earlier start schedule, this may be our "new normal" but it will be good to be back at "our house" rather than living out of a football-suitcase.
　
What better way to christen BMO Field for 2013 than with MLS Cup Winners LA Galaxy. It is the official soccer stadium of "Hollywood North" anyways right? Despite the departure of international man-knicker peddler David Beckham, Galaxy are still a very strong side and will likely have a host of new DP's lined up very soon. The crowd may still be littered with screaming ladies who don't realize Becks is en Francais now but hey - they weren't going to come to see the set of Toronto-shot blockbuster Johnny Mnemonic were they?
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The Hollywood Norther"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
TORONTO: Robert Earnshaw, Stefan Frei, Luis Silva
LOS ANGELES: Carlo Cudicini, Omar Gonzalez, Robbie Keane
　
THE ODDS:
The following sequels to Toronto-shot films being made:
- "Booty Call 2: Agbootymonde": 10-1
- "American Psycho III: Jacob Peterson's Business Card": 100-1
- "Harold & Kumar Go To the Playoffs": 1000-1
　
WHO ARE YA?
Toronto is one of the busiest film and television production locales outside of Los Angeles and boasts the largest studio space apart from Hollywood. This fact wasn't lost on new TFC head coach Ryan Nelsen whose secret reason for rushing into management at Toronto is his desire to break into local film. The New Zealander has been working on a script for years now and it is a sequel to a film originally shot in Toronto. Nelsen's "Police Academy 8: Kiwis On Patrol" sees Mahoney, Jones, Hightower and the gang head to New Zealand to put a stop to an international sheep trafficking ring that is plaguing their city. Hilarity ensues.
　
POST-MATCH HEADLINE:
"NELSEN'S CADETS BUMBLE"

Toronto FC signs Richter, Earthquake-related puns to be made

All bundled up for the overstated Canadian cold... brrrrrrrrrr...

Y-014B - The Yorkies Toronto FC new signing form

Name : Ryan Richter

Club : Charleston Battery

College : La Salle University

Years as a pro : 2

Acquired via : ☐ Trade / ☐ Free Agent / ☑ Waivers / ☐ Coerced out of retirement

Because of interest : □ Montreal signed him / ☐ Stolen from Montreal / ☑ none of the above

Say something nice: Ryan Richter has been biding his time for his breakout move, and this could be it.  A former 5th overall pick of Philadelphia, Richter has been on multiple trials with DC yet couldn’t earn a contract.  With a successful stint with the USL-Pro’s Charleston Battery helping them to a championship, Richter has done enough to impress Nelsen.  I’m sure ex-TFC midfielder, and now former Charleston teammate, Amadou Sanyang (remember him?) will be able to impart some wisdom to Richter regarding the city’s best burrito and craft beer.

If he is half as successful at the wing defender/winger roles that he’s used to, he can be a very valuable tool from the bench - not as a substitute due to injury or poor play, but as a change in strategy.

Adjectives checklist:

☑ Versatile

☐ Creative

☐ Tough

☐ Intelligent

☐ Athletic

☐ Anchor

Overall description:

☐ Greatest [attribute] of the modern era

☐ Experienced [position]

☐ Brings plenty of experience

☑ Long career ahead of him

☐ Highly rated goal poacher

☑ Provides different options from what club currently has

Reason for signing:

☐ Desperate acquisition

☐ Fill the salary cap

☐ Pressure from supporters

☑ Depth

☐ Stop-gap signing until [injured player] returns

☐ Glamour designated player signing for marketing purposes

Nonsensical comedic video tie-in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDi--BYtr24  

@ignirtoq is filling in for the usual news person. He would've had this up earlier, but had no idea where the form was placed. Note to self: look under "Forms" next time.

THE STARTING 11: Toronto FC-inspired food stands at BMO Field for 2013

Man, IHOMHEP sucks.



One of the folksy multicultural promotions that TFC began back in 2007 was to aim for gastronomical inclusiveness at the BMO Field concession stands. In a city where football supporters can hail from any continent, the club tried to cater to all needs simultaneously. It hasn't always been a grand success - looking at you "Curried Scotch Egg Burrito with Hollandaise Sauce" - but the effort was there. Seven seasons on and the club is looking forward both on and off the pitch and what better way to a supporter's heart than through food? Put down that $28 dollar pint of Bud for a sec to feed your face with these new treats...

11. "Frings!" (Discontinued)

10. "Reggie's Lamb" (Open every 6 matches)

9. "T.G.I. Frei's"

8. "International House of Mysteriously Half-Eaten Pancakes"

7. "Kyle & Emery's GO Station Gourmet"

6. "Julio Cesar Salad Bar"

5. "Slightly Amber Skunky Water" brought to you by Budweiser

4. "#AllPhoOne" Vietnamese Foods

3. "Kevin's Pain" French Bakery

2. "Braun Cocktails"

1. "Five-Year Flan"

The next cut ain't the deepest



The one constant at Toronto FC has always been change. Life under our new Kiwi Overlord has not altered that human resources workload. With rumours abound of up to four new potential signings joining our springtime tundra, more change is on the horizon.
　
MLS rosters have their limits of course, both in capacity and economical, so if new recruits are truly on their way then the football boot must drop for some current Reds. With the mystery Argentine striker (the not mysterious Maximiliano Urruti) seemingly waiting at Buenos Aires airport, the machinations of transactions are creaking to life. Yesterday, the first bit of space management was implemented with TFC Academy grad Matt Stinson given his release - but that won't be enough.

Nelsen also hinted today there will likely be more players released. In the wake of Stinson, more tough decisions. #TFC
— Kurtis Larson (@KurtLarSUN) March 19, 2013

　
Ryan Nelsen is clear that TFC will be a different looking squad over the next few months and that will have to mean pink slips to more than just Matt Stinson. But who else will be getting the not-so-golden handshake? Assuming that the professionals signed since Kevin Payne took control as President are safe(ish) - who may face the snip?
　
LOGAN EMORY?
The former Puerto Rico Islander arrived with the whiff of emergency signing but did clock some minutes in 2012. On that mess of a squad, that doesn't say too much. A low salary at a fairly young age could save him but as far as potential goes - we have probably seen all that he is capable of.

REGGIE LAMBE?
Possibly the most looked-to as far as potential cuts go. Despite a low salary he does seem to be the "1 in 6 player" that Paul Mariner frustratingly claimed he was. Has looked "okayish" early this season but yet to develop into any kind of consistent MLS player. Worse for Lambe is the big international roster spot dangling around his neck.
　
JUSTIN BRAUN?
"But I just got here!" Yes, probably a bit early and unfair to judge Braun but if attacking options are on TFC's shopping list then Braun may be the odd man out. His goal tally over the last few seasons is most likely to be found on the side of a milk carton but there may be a little bit of trade potential in the ex-Chivas striker. Could be ballast for Payne to pick up another team's international roster spot.
　
OSORIO, BENNETT and/or T.MORGAN?
The three youngsters impressed enough in training camp to secure a pro deal but they will only hang on if TFC feels they have enough potential to warrant development at the price of a roster spot. On miniscule salaries, their departures won't help the wage bill but would be purely to make space. Variables such as Taylor Morgan's international roster (or not) classification could be a variable.
　
ANDREW WIEDEMAN?
A short moment of pity to the youngster who was given the no-doubt unwanted anchor of "Modern Era etc. etc." in one of Paul Mariner's least cogent brain releases. Every time the attacking mid takes a (often wanting) shot on goal those words can be heard echoing around BMO Field like the Ghost of Ipswich Past. Pity aside, Wiedeman has yet to show his value and with his Generation Adidas shield gone, a future in Toronto seems unlikely. Whether another MLS GM can be tempted to mine what Mariner thought he saw remains to be seen.
　
DANNY KOEVERMANS?
Yes we know. Highly unlikely as the league's "Drop a DP" deadline has long passed - but weirder things have happened. While it is true that Koef is arguably the club's finest striker in its history, he is also on a very hefty (stop it) contract and is extremely injury-prone. Will the Dutchman be able to return to anything resembling a high-powered striker? Does he fit into Ryan Nelsen's tactical style? And... if fit... would a 35-year-old Koef re-sign with TFC in 2014 as a non-DP? These are questions that will determine his future in maple leaf red.
　
JEREMY HALL?
The positive of keeping Jeremy Hall in a TFC kit is that he can play five positions on the pitch. The negative is how he plays those five positions. Hall would be a useful tool on your bench if it wasn't for his nasty habit of making Reds supporters smack their heads really, really hard at least once per match. A player like Hall could still garner a wee bit of interest on the MLS trade market but not if you want a useful player in return. Has Hall's early season usage in the starting eleven been a sign of interest by Ryan Nelsen or just a lack of options?
　
TERRY DUNFIELD?
Ok - when you throw things at your screen it only hurts your computer - not our site. Calm down. While Terry Dunfield has done well with the gifts that Football Jesus has given him, he is not more than bench strength on any quality MLS side. If he wasn't Canadian, he wouldn't be held in such high regard here. But, it is those intangibles - a Canuck, a really good citizen and with seemingly good leadership skills - that will likely save his job. Not to mention avoiding the PR nightmare that would follow. Now take a deep breath Terrymaniacs - it's not personal.
　
While who stays and who goes will be dictated by who comes in and the positions they play, chances are that one or more of the above are not long for Hogtown. Who do you think is due (or would you like - vengeful buggers) to depart BMO Field? Add your voice to the discussion in the comments below. Or you're cut.
　
And, if it is you Danny or Terry... we promise to sing this once at BMO Field...

THE STARTING 11: Unexpected side-effects of Toronto FC's new plaid scarf

"I was into TFC before they were cool."



Many of you are sitting in your window like a Jack Russell waiting for the Purolator delivery dude to bring your TFC Season Ticket package right now. Sit Ubu supporter, sit. Good supporter. However, not only are your vouchers to a year of exciting somewhat palatable football in that tardy box but also a bold fashion choice. For our seventh season ticket holder scarf, TFC decided to step outside of the couture box and go with a hip lumberjack plaid design. Some will hate it ("It's not a football scarf!); others will love it ("It goes with my ironic moustache!") but what surprising circumstances await the unwitting hipster supporter?
　
11. Every time you grab your scarf, a bloodhound is asleep under it
　
10. Unofficial TFC anthem becomes "Plaid to the Bone"
　
9. The Scottish can't keep their hands off of you
　
8. Northern Ontario supporters now have extra formal dinner attire
　
7. Always expected to be the first to clean up household spills
　
6. Hunter-weary bears now steering clear of Exhibition Place
　
5. Guaranteed to get a seat for post-match drinks at trendy Ossington Ave. nightspots　

4. You totally look like a hot-shot when talking about maple syrup
　
3. Portland Timbers now consider us their most bitter rivals
　
2. Eddie Bauer's 2013 catalog is mostly random photos of BMO Field's south stand
　
1. Stadium security turn a blind eye if you bring an axe to a match

AFTER 90: Not so gouda

Smell that fine-aged One-Year Plan



MONTREAL VS. TORONTO

OLYMPIC STADIUM

FIRST HALF:

KICK OFF - The grande story of the day is of course the thousands of Rouges dans le Stade du Roof Crumblement. While NBC crows over a couple of hundred D.C. United fans who made it to New York, Torontonians en masse have invaded The Big O to propel new look TFC over their much-improved rival - The Cheesemakers. Is that a chorus of "You'll Never Provalone" we hear? Commencer!

2' - Great loud start from the decrepit stands of Olympic Stadium. TFC supporters in fine voice. Impact supporters in fine corporate sponsor noise-maker.

4' - Joe Bendik tips a close-range Marco Di Vaio strike to safety. Solid save.

10' - Reds on the back foot early. Scrappy in the midfield but disjointed in attack.

11' - An early gift for TFC as Montreal's legendary defender Alessandro Nesta leaves the match with an injury. Joey Saputo applies a cold mozzarella di bufala to his thigh. Probably.

20' - YELLOW CARD: Jeremy Hall for a slightly rambunctious tackle. Slightly. Hello to all of our readers in the Baldomero Toledo refereeing family. We feel your shame.

25' - In their new third kit you can squint and pretend this is a 1990 fixture between Inter Milan and Liverpool. Squint harder and you can pretend the stadium looks like 1976.

29' - Hogan Ephraim slides a pass across goal for Robert Earnshaw but it's broken by Jeb Brovsky at the last second. Fancy footwork by TFC.

34' - PENALTY: Dubious call as Ashtone Morgan bumps Andres Romero in the box. GOAL: as Patrice Bernier stutter-steps it past Joe Bendik. Merde.

MONTREAL 1 - TORONTO 0

38' - Dangerous runs and wing play seen against Sporting KC last week M.I.A. today. Also, most of the other good stuff as well.

45'+ - GOAL: Montreal - Reds' midfield then defence carved like a warm brie as Marco Di Vaio waltzes around Joe Bendik (or whatever dance Italians do) and doubles the lead.

MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 0

45'+ - Mi-temps.

HALFTIME: MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 0

SECOND HALF:

46' - Reds unchanged to start. Tactics need to be if they are to make something of this match.

50' - Toronto all 6's and 7's in attack. Unless you are counting shots on goal where they are more like 0's and 1's.

52' - Scramble in the Montreal box leads to Hogan Ephraim acrobatic attempt that rattles the crossbar.

53' - High pressure leads to another Toronto break - Earnshaw forces a fingertip save.

58' - Ad hoardings reveal that Pizza Pizza has a different "11-11" phone number in Montreal. Oh Quebec, you just have to be different don't you?

60' - SUB: Kyle Bekker on for Jeremy Hall

62' - Montreal fans amusing themselves with the wave. Ultras.

64' - SUB: Darel "The Roy G." Russell on for Ashtone Morgan

67' - PENALTY: Montreal defender Daniel "Scent of a Woman" Iapichino pulls Terry Dunfield down in the area. GOAL: Robert Earnshaw with his third of the year.

MONTREAL 2 - TORONTO 1

75' - Got the penalty and he is a lovely gent but Terry Dunfield having a shocker today.

84' - SUB: Jonathan Osorio on for Danny Califf

87' - Impact skillfully killing off the clock. Saputo skillfully putting together a cheese basket for Man of the Match.

90'+ - Big O scoreboard displays word "NOISE". Noise is made.

FULL TIME: MONTREAL 2- TORONTO 1

PLAYER RATINGS: Joe Bendik 6 / Richard Eckersley 6 / Danny Califf 5.5 (Jonathan Osorio N/A) / Darren O'Dea 5.5 / Ashtone Morgan 5 (Darel Russell 6) / Reggie Lambe 6.5 / Jeremy Hall 5.5 (Kyle Bekker 5.5) / Terry Dunfield 4.5 / Hogan Ephraim 6.5 / John Bostock 5.5 / Robert Earnshaw 6

THE YORKIES' TFC MAN OF THE MATCH:
Hogan Ephraim

THE BATH:

Yes there was some dodgy officiating and all of the goals could have been argued against in one form or another but Toronto FC did themselves no favours in front of thousands of travelling supporters. Bereft of attacking options, midfield control and flat-footed defensively, The Reds lacked the shape and tactical discipline seen in parts of their previous matches. A shame that the efforts of so many away supporters couldn't be rewarded.

With rumours of up to four new additions en route and some debuts yet to be made, we will hear (far) too much about how TFC is a work in progress between now and the next fixture but today was the first time this season that little progress was seen. While nowhere near the time for excessive hand-wringing and/or scarf-burning it was not a fun fixture. Worse still handing your derby rival an undefeated record while witnessing the difference between a One-Year Plan and successive Five-Year Plans.



THE MATCHUP: Les Reds marchons dans

Home of Le Kop

MONTREAL VS. TORONTO
　
OLYMPIC STADIUM - SATURDAY 4PM ET
TV: TSN
　
THE KICKABOUT:
Like it or lump it MLS, "The 401 Derby" is unchallenged amongst the league's derby days. When you throw in all the other muck that makes Montreal v Toronto a powder keg in any sporting, political, cultural or Mitsou-based clash, it can't be beat for heat. Just to be dicks about the whole thing, TFC supporters are invading en masse dans le Big O and are set to break (our own) MLS away day travel record. Throw in the bonus that Montreal is looking like a good squad and TFC are seemingly in ascendance and merde just got real.
　
With approximately 5000 red clad Ontari-ari-ari-ans making a spectacle of ourselves in our own "Kop" in The Big O, we thought it only right to emulate some other famous Reds and sing a little tune to our provolone-money host. Learn the tune, learn the words (like so)... hold your scarf up high....
　
When you walk through the store
Hold your basket high
And don't be afraid of the rind
　
At the end, of the aisle
There's a golden wedge
And that sweet cheesy tang of Cheddar
　
Walk on, past the Swiss
Walk on, past Colby
Though your choice... is all your own
　
Walk on, walk on, with Saputo in your cart
And you'll never Prov-alone
You'll never Provalone
　
MANUFACTURED DERBY NAME:
"The 401 Derby"
　
PLAYERS TO WATCH:
MONTREAL: Patrice Bernier, Marco Di Vaio, Alessandro Nesta
TORONTO: John Bostock, Robert Earnshaw, Darren O'Dea
　
THE ODDS:
- Darren O'Dea not doing well with either official language: 10-1
- "Club Super Sexe" not accepting TFC Discount Cards: 2-1
- Someone commenting that it's "provolone" not "provalone": EVENS
　
WHO ARE YA?
Nowhere in Canada was yesterday's Papal announcement more closely followed than in Catholic-heavy Quebec. Not ones to miss a promotional opportunity, Toronto FC quickly put a new third goalkeeper kit into production for their own Vatican-esque property. "The Swiss Guard" Stefan Frei kit should be available soon through your local parish.



POST-MATCH HEADLINE:
" (SOMETHING ANGRY IN FRENCH) !!!"
　
And… no matter what happens on Saturday Reds’ supporters… you get to leave The Big O come back to this…

THE STARTING 11: Items on Toronto FC's Montreal trip "to-do" list

The hunt... Is. On.



When all is said and fini this year, TFC and L'Impact du Montreal à la Bibliothèque will have faced each other five times. The ten trips up and down Highway 401(AutoRoute quatre zéro une for our amis) start this weekend as The Reds and their jolly bunch of supporters head to that belle province to the east for Saturday's date at The Big O. Preparing for a trip is never fun but when a big club travels en masse to visit their heated rival, preparation is everything. So what do TFC have to remember to do before packing leurs sacs?
　
11. Remind Robert Earnshaw that front-flips need to be performed in both official languages
　
10. Pack Reggie Lambe's Patois-English-French-Quebecois-Quebecois Patois Dictionary
　
9. Make sure that Darren O'Dea's Guinness intravenous drip is ready for St. Patrick's Day
　
8. Bring a bocce ball set to distract Impact's old Italian players
　
7. Get tickets to see Maxim Usanov at the UFC event that evening
　
6. Offer a live chicken in sacrifice at the ancient temple of St-Hubert
　
5. Use up the leftover credits on Miguel Aceval and Nick Soolsma's "Club Super Sexe" gift cards
　
4. Give Bitchy the Hawk Youppi's scent
　
3. Pack two cases of Jos. Louis cakes, Pepsi-Colas and smokes to get out of any potential hostage takings
　
2. Always have a quality cheese knife
　
1. Issue press release explaining that TFC's first six seasons have all been an elaborate "Just for Laughs" gag